Thursday, April 25, 2019

But Ossifer!


The other night, on our way back home from visiting with friends and enjoying pizza, we couldn't help but notice that the car behind us was swerving all over the road, as well as tail-gaiting us in an unnerving and annoying manner. Bob was going the speed limit (he's a much more law abiding driver than myself hahahahahahaha!) and being cautious. We passed a police car parked to the left side of the road and both of us exclaimed something like, "Good! Hope he pulls that guy behind us over!" Yes, lights and whistles blaring, the police car pulls out and gives chase.
And then we see that the police officer has passed the car behind us and we say to one another, "He must be on his way to an emergency"... until it dawns on us, with all lights flashing and sirens whooping and bleeping that he's pulling up behind US.
Bob steers to the edge of the road and the car that's been weaving and swerving zooms off ahead. We exchange "WTF" looks and Bob maneuvers his wallet out of his pocket to access his license. I attempt to wrestle the large plastic pot full of plants that our good friend Bob gave us up off the floor of the truck and onto the seat so as to allow me to open the glove compartment and get the registration out. (No easy feat!)
The officer approaches the truck and says something about how we were swerving on the road and Bob answers, "That wasn't us: that was the car behind us." The police person then says, "Yeah, I noticed that. I thought he was trying to signal that YOU were driving oddly". !?!?!?!??!!?!?
So the police man says, "Oh, and you've got plants!" !?!?!?!?!?!?
He then states, "I guess I pulled the wrong car over", gets back in his police car and pulls out and speeds off, not even having checked Bob's license or insurance or registration. Needless to say, we were perplexed.

(And I will add that both Bob and I simultaneously remarked to each other, "It's a good thing we aren't black!" How sad is that? We'd probably be arrested or dead!)

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Random Vernal Bits


So I've completed my taxes... yaaaay!!! Always a source of stress and weird eruptions (like I have this zit forming on my chin; I KNOW that's from tax preparation!), it grants me peace of mind (as opposed to a piece of my mind. Yes, large chunks of it break off whenever I'm forced to do financial things which is why I'll never master balancing a check book. How can anyone in their right mind commit to sitting down and spending time and more brain cells on something so numbing and futile?!?!) So taxes accomplished, I'm on to more valuable time consumers.
Like Spring garden clean up. This, of course, entails hauling 80 large tarp loads of soggy leaves and spent ornamental grasses off into the woods. The grasses inevitably torque sideways while attempting to navigate through any one of our garden gates, which leads to major events of cursing and re-wedging the grasses back onto the completely twisted tarp...fun!
At least the garden looks better, freed of last year's desiccated stalks and seed heads. I feel like I got the clean up well under way earlier than I sometimes do. I'm ready for things to start growing!
 
And I am happy to report that things ARE growing. (Nice shot of the over-wintered indoors plants that didn't die. The begonia that our good friend Bob gave us is blooming it's pants off.) The lilacs have actual flower buds and the daffodils are all budded and starting to burst. A few species tulips managed to not be eaten by (the mother fucking) squirrels and are in hesitant flower. (I think they're cringing and afraid to be singled out and then devoured). But it's shaping up to be a pretty spring.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

A Few Days of Birds Behaving Oddly

To address the title of this blog post- in which I am cramming all sorts of tidbits- let's first look at the duck above. I was hanging out laundry and saw this brown lump on the other side of the fence. First I thought it was a small pile of leaves, as the wind was  blowing ferociously. But I kept thinking there was something sticking out to one side. As I approached slowly and cautiously so as not to scare it, it became clear it was a duck, it's beak being the thing sticking out. We do have ducks that land on and hang around our tiny pond, but this duck was just sitting there, looking around. I actually had enough time to go into the house, score the camera and snap this picture. It stayed for a while and then apparently flew off. But I thought it was strange that it hung out on the grass.
And the other day, Bob and I were standing outside by the side gate when Bob said, "Look; it's a Goldfinch sitting on the grass." On closer inspection, it wasn't a Goldfinch, but a parakeet! I tried to get near it, talking to it in a cheerful, friendly to birds kind of way (I thought!) but it flew off. I was reminded of how when I was young, my family adopted a small green parakeet who just appeared out of no where and landed on my mother's ("Mommy's") shoulder. Our parents (Mommy and Daddy) ran an ad and sought his owner, but none claimed the bird, so he found a new home with us. Charlie the parakeet was a character and sang and talked and whistled; I thought maybe history was repeating itself, but the bird flew away. I hope he found his way home as it was cold and they can't live outside here in New England.
The last "bird" under discussion here is Lil' Robin the Good. Maybe it's the Spring and the high wind and things beginning to grow or the changing light and lengthening days, but I've thought that Robin has been a little more needy or clingy than usual. She is a funny sensitive soul (and prone to nuttiness like when she's chasing shadows and leaves...) but she has seemed preoccupied. And I think she's put on a little weigh. AND THEN IT STRUCK ME: what if she'd taken matters into her own hands (paws) and gotten knocked up??!!? It seems unlikely: we've kept an eagle eye on her when she went out into the yard during her last heat.(*1) There are no intact males around that I know of (except Chops (dumber than a door nail!) next door. Dear goddess! Please, if Robin got impregnated, don't
let it be Chops!!!) Anyway, as there are no at home dog pregnancy tests, and it's a month ago that
her heat cycle ended, I guess I'll just pinch myself and wait another month to see if "anything
happens". (*2)

1.) Although I did kiddingly say to Bob one day as I went the door to work, "Keep a close eye on Robin and don't let anyone near her... unless he's a really fluffy attractive English Setter, Irish Setter, Golden Retriever or maybe even a Bernese Mountain Dog".

2.) It's harder than you think to find the right partner for your dog. Purebred dog owners are the worst and are terrified that their breeds purity will be sullied by mixing with mongrels. They would never willingly permit interbreeding! (Despite the unhealthiness of inbreeding and line breeding and all the nasty hereditary messes that purebred dogs inherit.) It would be the final irony if Robin found herself a "boyfriend" after all the unsuccessful work I've been doing to hook her up.