Snakes 'n' Scammers

This "attractive" fellow was lying in the grass near one of our compost piles, but I didn't have my contact lens in so I thought it was a heap of horse poop. Hahaha! Good thing I had the presence of mind to go in the house and insert my contact lens before attempting to heave him onto the compost! I did grab the camera and document him (or her) and go back into the house and onto the computer to identify the particular variety of snake (especially not wanting to disturb this individual if it proved to be potentially poisonous.) I am confident in reporting that- although ugly- it is a harmless snake, most likely a water snake. (There were many of these snakes at a garden I took care of one summer. Nasty things! They were sufficiently long and intimidating so that if one was "sunning" itself on the stone steps behind the house, I was forced to circle the entire house to gain access to the upper garden.)
But alas, there are human "snakes" a few of which feature in the next discussion...
Bob and I told friends that we were making (another) trip to the New York Botanic Garden to deliver an order of Bob's metal work. We always look forward to these trips as Bob's contact there provides us with free passes and we get to see whatever special exhibit is featured. The friends in question asked what route we took. They expressed horror when we outlined the highways we have (successfully) traveled many times now, telling us that these roads were off-limits to trucks and commercial vehicles and that hefty fines were levied on the drivers that violated these statutes. They said that we had been lucky to have evaded the law for so long.
Chastened, we took the advice offered and plotted another course, which looked direct enough. I was feeling perturbed, as we'd managed to get this route down and were sanguine about reaching our destination- not always the easiest thing when navigating our way into New York. Anyway, we gamely made our way, finding the first two connections easily... until we got lost. There was simply no sign  that announced the particular road we were looking for (even though it had shown up on our computer at home). We went too far, almost winding up in Manhattan. We back tracked and took the only exit that made mention of the botanic garden and The Bronx Zoo, which is close by. Suffice it to say that once off the highway, we got even more lost as there was a single sign pointing us vaguely easterly and then abandoning us. I tried pulling up maps on my phone but seemed to get nothing but gibberish and Pokeman. Here comes the fun part.
We were stopped at a busy intersection when a man called out, "Hey! Your hood is open!" We were already moving but Bob and I looked at each other and agreed we'd better pull over and check it out. This being NYC, we had hit several heroic pot holes and certainly the hood could have come unlatched. As Bob pulled the truck into a conveniently broad sweep of street shoulder, a man approached (a bit too well timed?) and said, "Hey! there's smoke pouring out of your engine!" Yes, in retrospect, it seems pretty obvious what was happening, but at the time- after being lost and turned around and anticipating engine disaster- we got out and cracked the hood while the "helpful" good Samaritan said, "Oh hey, you're really lucky this didn't happen on the highway. You cold have blown your whole engine!" as he helpfully offered to add anti-freeze. Then he made a big deal of rolling under the truck and exclaiming as how our "engine pin" had loosened and he'd tighten it...* this is where Bob and I simultaneously realized that there had been no smoke, or over heating or smell and the truck had been running just fine. I said, "Thanks; we'll just call AAA", but our patron saint persisted and said as how we should give him $60 for "fixing" our truck. Bob and I (feeling pretty stupid and just wanting to get the fuck out of there) exchanged glances and gave the guy $20 and drove off, being lucky that that was all it cost. (In fairness, it was a very busy major road, not some back alley so we were reasonably safe. But good heavens! This snake extorted $20 from a couple of artists! Go pick on someone else!!!) Then we figured out that the guy in the car at the intersection was in cahoots with our "impromptu mechanic": a setup!

Anyway, we finally made it to the Botanic Garden and had a lovely time strolling the amazing tropical plants and exotic installation that replicated a Brazilian garden as envisioned by Roberto Burle Marx. It was spectacular enough that we had a splendid time and enjoyed the rest of our visit. Needless to say, upon leaving, we reverted to the former route that we had safely traversed many times. And except for getting stuck in a major traffic jam and crawling slowly home once over the Connecticut line, nothing else happened.

* Bob reminds me that this guy had his schtick down pat! He asked if we had a rag and proceeded to offer the wetness of it as evidence that our engine was leaking (this was after he wet it with anti-freeze.) I actually think that if he hadn't gotten so carried away with his own multitudinous details, he would have been more convincing. I mean, if you suspect something is truly wrong with your vehicle, you often don't know where to begin diagnosing it. But there was smoke and leaking and an "engine pin" (when I realized he was a scammer!) and a few other problems!