And because I was discussing my place of employment and disease, I thought this would be a good time to discuss issues of hygiene and nutrition- both of which are in short supply at work.
How I haven't gotten food poisoning at work is truly a mystery; someone has because one of my co-workers spends inordinate amounts of time in the men's room (conveniently located right next to the lunch room). Typically, there are several mice in residence evidenced by the small poop offerings to be found in the drawer containing such essentials as plastic wrap and aluminum foil. We learned early on to go without. Traps are set, but there's always more rodents.
The silverware drawer is exempt from poop but holds utensils that need both inspection AND washing before use. A fellow employee thinks a quick cold water rinse suffices to clean forks and spoons. Ditto for dishes.
Then there is the toaster oven that has attempted to burn the building down on occasion, partially due to one (former) member of management who liked to place food items in the toaster oven- set on "broil", too close to the heating elements and then leave the room. Billows of smoke and badly blackened food signaled "lunch was ready". The microwave is a better bet (despite being coated with three years worth of micro-on sludge) but it can't be used while the toaster or coffee maker is plugged in or the fuses blow.
Many of my co-workers are tired of hearing me bemoan the danger of microwaving food in plastic but they persist in doing it anyway. (I guess the microwaves do kill the bacteria in mouse poop adorning the plastic wrap but we've all heard of the carcinogenic problems with plastic and microwaves.) I keep expecting co-workers to show up sporting elaborate tumors spontaneously generated by a Chernobyl-like convergence of microwave and plastic. Don't get me started on the imbibing of "sugar-free" sodas...
My bosses surly corgi used to hold fort beneath the table and consume whatever snacks and scraps that people dropped. Ginger used to also leave remarkably gigantic poops under the lunch table;her way of saying "thanks", but she has since gone to doggie heaven and food scraps stay on the floor.
And then there's the food itself: many of my co-workers are nutritionally challenged, consuming nothing but pizza and questionable portions of greasy take-out chicken but these people are young and still feel invincible. Ah youth!
The people I worry about are the ones I avoid eating with. One individual has horrified me with obscene "edible creations" lovingly constructed before my cringing eyeballs. How about wonder bread, slathered with peanut butter... and mayonnaise? Quick way to lose one's appetite! And deep fried everything... sometimes carted back from fairs and street festivals. I can't even describe some of the other items I've seen him place in his mouth. Another person whom I avoid at lunch time brings food from home, but it's usually some gigantic blob of undercooked meat in a plastic baggie that sits festering on the counter for hours (although the refrigerator is a few feet away). I can't even consider the bacteria multiplying mere inches from my innocent apple. Oh and I need I mention that I'm the only person at work who seriously consumes fruit? And vegetables?
We have a joke at work among my healthier eating co-workers, that no matter how awful or old something is- like Halloween candy months after the fact or stale cake from a party attended elsewhere (*2)- if you put it on the kitchen table, it will be gone (eaten!!) within minutes. Like piranha they are! This is the appropriate time to mention that for my birthday one year they purchased an ice cream cake for me, but then left it on the lunchroom table. We were really busy so it wasn't until much later- on a July afternoon- that we went to the lunchroom and were confronted with an ice cream soup mess. I guess it's the thought that counts!
Understandably, when the weather is warm I prefer to dine out doors, where we actually have a picnic table. But I am thinking I'm (sorta) lucky as due to uncertainties surrounding COVID 19, I don't have to go to work for the foreseeable future.(*3) Stay healthy! You are what you eat!
(*1) But I am happy to report that the co-worker in question was told to stay at home until next week so I feel vindicated. Also, I hope she realizes how lucky she is as they are apparently considering stopping flights to Washington State and elsewhere...
(*2) Or how about a months old gingerbread house? Brought in by a "thoughtful" co-worker? Left over from Xmas but delivered to us in February? I think that one was so beyond the pale that it wound up in the garbage can!
(*3) Because I actually enjoy certain aspects of work! Really! It can be amusing... just not the eating part.
(*4) The amaryllis is blooming on our kitchen table. It is here to remind us of beauty and things other than COVID 19. Amen.
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