Tricks and Treats

Halloween is upon us and that means my court date draws nigh! Wish me luck on my Day in Court, auspiciously falling on Halloween. It was most recently recommended that I go wearing stripes (in an allusion to prison togs), and the costume I have selected for my court appearance is pinstripe (to subtly echo a lawyer's garb). The above is what I wore to a garden center that offered a further 10% discount to any shopper wearing a costume. I was wearing my riding jodhpurs and boots and brandishing a riding crop. I was the only nursery shopper at that time to be outfitted thusly, but it was worth it as Bob and I brought home a couple of real nursery bargains!

 

I guess everyday is Halloween around here and things just keep getting scarier. My book project that has been occupying my almost every waking hour is being installed (by me and Bob) on Wednesday and I have a couple of million details to complete between now and then. Here's a tease; a page from my book... this one is being printed up as a poster. I have to pick it up from Staples tomorrow, and after the last printing debacle, I shudder to think what they'll have done to this image!

But details? Was I mentioning details? Oy! I keep making lists and revising them but it is all coming together... Now I have to figure out what to wear to my opening. I suppose I could go in costume!

Just Plain Gross and And a Waste of Time

Okay, so here's one gross thing but not THE gross thing about my walk. I submit the above picture of a very dead little mouse which may be gross but listen to this: I set off on my morning walk with Jules and as I didn't need to go to work or any where particular, we took a rather longer walk than usual. Now I've railing about the slobs and assholes who dump their old building materials and ugly chairs along the dirt road where I walk, but today's offering took the cake. I spied a white thing in the road, and as I approached closer, I pulled Jules in tighter to me as it appeared that the white thing was a rather large pair of men's Fruit of the Loom underpants. But not only did some idiot see fit to leave dirty laundry laying around in the road, but they were copiously soiled with evil looking diarrhea. (I guess I have to ask if there's any other kind). All I can think of is "Ebola!" Boy, did that ruin the atmosphere of a lovely pre-storm walk! (You're all just lucky that didn't have my camera.)
That was the gross; here's the waste of time. (Haven't I recently been haranguing that i have many things to accomplish and and I'm very short of time? I sound like a broken record.) I am having my book, Better Guns and Gardens produced, and for many reasons ( and people can have their opinions...) I am printing the first batch at Staples. I actually went out of my way to the next town over as the do the production of the book binding there, and the poor over worked young man at our local Staples seemed less than informed about how they do them and said they sent them out anyway. The young man at the New Milford Staples had examples, seemed involved and even listened to my tale of woe as to how their competitor (OfficeMax) made a mess out of one of my previous books (printed and collated upside down backwards etc). He assured me that this wouldn't happen; they'd be extra careful. What could possibly go wrong?

I picked up the single test copy that i had ordered and was pleased; it really looked great. I therefore ordered up four more, and left work early to go over to pick them up. The cover looked fine and a part of me thought, Better be safe and check them out." It's a good thing I opened them up and systematically paged through because the insides were a disaster. And as I pointed out to the young woman at the copy center, not only were the files in order (like pages 1, 2, 3 and on) but the pages were numbered in the book. It was like they collated them with their eyes closed. I was so distraught that I spoke with a manager, who was properly horrified and apologized by saying they'd redo them and give me a fifth one free.
I returned, not getting my hopes up as I've learned that once something gets messed up, there's a good chance the correction will be botched, too. The books looked fine and I checked every last one but when i went to pay, they charged me for the fifth "free" one. After much cash register rewriting attempts, a manager was called over and he tried to right it. Eventually, with a line forming behind me and me feeling teh evil eye of every other customer, they rang it up. And it turned out to be thirty dollars LESS than it should have been. I think they were trying to get rid of me! I need to get a few more printed next week. We'll see what happens!

Firewood Unlimited

Bob and I have an additional chore, besides getting hay, making art, doing laundry, taking care of the garden, etc etc etc. We go to secure our heating supply for the winter, otherwise known as "doing firewood". That huge tree, above is the source of this winter's heat.
Our gracious friend Tina has offered us all the wood from trees that have fallen on her property in Bridgewater. The soil is stony and there is a lot of ledge, so trees tend to topple over and leave these weird root monsters:

That's the underside of the above tree. (See all the rocks to the left? Not much soil for those roots to grasp onto.) I walk around scouting and musing while Bob cuts up the branches. (And try not to worry as it's dangerous work. Those sideways limbs are way overhead and sometimes crack and split in unintended ways. I'm always relieved when the branches are felled and the wood is safely on the ground.)
That's also where I come in: I help Bob pick up the cut logs and load them onto the truck. This is probably why Bob and I are in pretty okay shape physically. We spend so much time hauling things like hay bales and wood and compost around. Who needs a gym?
Here's another uprooted tree. There are so many of them!

There is enough downed trees for several years worth of fire wood. And it's way less dangerous than felling an entire tree, so I'm glad of that. If you've never been in the are when a large tree hits the ground, you have no idea how traumatic it can be. They really fall hard. But even in a downed tree, there's spring and tension in the weight of the limbs and it's not easy work. Bob loves it and has been doing firewood since his teens but it still makes me a bit nervous... But it's good exercise and way cheaper than buying gas or oil from some corporation that exploits people for living in a cold environment! And besides, the field looks so much better cleaned up when these fallen trees are cleared.

A Very Odd Posting! (for Hope)

Well! Seeing as how my attempts to email pictures of my mathematical collages has failed miserably and very mysteriously, I have concocted this scheme. I will use a blog post to exhibit a few of my images for Math 4 Artists, one of my artist's books with profound educational overtones! those of you tired of my work and sure that you have seen enough are dismissed until next posting! Those of you named Hope who have been kind enough to express interest... look here!

Here is my multiplication table. I was never any good at multiplying: all that carrying imaginary numbers from place to place. And they say artists are crazy! We were told that if you multiply a negative number by a negative number you get a ... positive number? Don't get me started.
Anyway, the above collaged multiplication table is much easier on the eyes than the grim inevitably black and white pseudo- Soviet looking math tables we were forced to memorize.

And this is (very small!) my Periodic Table of the Elements. Again, how much more fascinating is this? I cut out innumerable tiny numbers and letters but made the table exciting and beautiful! Which it is, when you consider how much information is crammed into that nifty format. I've always been totally in love with the Periodic Table and have actually done several versions. One of which is large (like 3 feet high and 5 feet wide- perfect for installing on a classroom wall!

And speaking of the number five, here's one of my individual number interpretations:

I picked five but I've done them all- even a table of Prime Numbers. So, I hope you could view these. Any questions? There will be a quiz tomorrow!

Equine Update

This is weird! i thought I had published this days ago! But it was in my drafts folder...

My horse doing yoga! It is pretty incredible that an animal the size of Maggie can simply lift her hind leg up, swing it around and scratch her ear (like she's doing in the photo). And with a hoof! You'd think they'd accidentally kick themselves in the face, or give themselves black eyes.
Here's another odd Maggie thing- she dreams. I mean, I figure that most animals do, as they sleep and do most everything else we do, so why not dream. But I've never SEEN a horse dream (like the dog; twitching and yelping) until last week. And horses don't actually sleep that much.
Bob and I were going to the store so I walked out into the pasture to make sure Maggie was secured. (Sometimes she's out in her temporary pastures.) Anyway, she was lying down but her chin was resting on the ground. And then her lips started to move and sort of bite at the ground. And here ears started to swivel all around and independently of each other. I thought, "Either she's asleep and dreaming or she's dying." So I stood there, where she could see my plainly if she woke up or came back from the dead and waited. This peculiar REM state continued for a few minutes. I was really starting to worry when her eyes opened, she looked at me like, "Oh hello!" and then she rolled vigorously around on her back and finally hoisted herself up and shook herself off. She looked very relaxed and well rested. But it was weird.
Hey, what I don't know about horses could fill several very long blog postings and it wouldn't be that interesting. Suffice it to say that between my admitting to giant blank spots in equine knowledge and residual fears about evil horsey activity*, thanks to Crispin (whom I hope is now residing in a can of dog food) I decided that what this middle aged equestrienne needed was some remedial lessons. And it's doing me a world of good! It's crazy as so many people say things like, "Why do you need lessons? Don't you already know how to ride?" But as my sage sister Beatrice observed, it's like dance and you can always learn something new. And it's been at least six or seven years since I had lessons.
So I have been riding a much larger, stouter horse than Maggie (Hannah by name, a red Hanoverian/Morgan cross) and consequently, my upper/inner thighs are killing me. I feel like I've been drawn and quartered, and I'm walking like a cowboy. This is also an interesting fact to point out to cynics who insist that riding must be good exercise for the horse, implying that the rider does nothing but sit there. Ha! Let me be the first to assure those skeptics that riding is incredibly physical. Your weight is one of your "aids" while riding; subtle shifts in balance tell the horse where to go. Not to mention posture and the alignment of shoulders and legs are constantly in use. But it is giving me new confidence and a happier attitude.I rode Maggie this afternoon as it didn't rain after all, and enjoyed myself immensely.

Not the most flattering picture of Maggie, but it shows her skepticism. I think she likes me, but secretly thinks I'm a wimp. I am. But I do like my little Magster!

* like bucking and spooking and bolting. All kinds of horsey fun!