Farewell Maggie!

 Farewell sweet Maggie! She had a long and- hopefully!- happy life. She was a good friend, a funny, opinionated mare, a nice companion to Neko (who loved telling Maggie what to do and when to do it...) We all loved Maggie (aka "The Magster", "Magatini" and so many other nicknames!); Robin the Good especially had a lovely friendship with Maggie. They'd touch noses through the fence and lick each other's noses. Maggie was so gentle with Robin when she was a puppy. Maggie had obviously had foals and knew what a baby animal was- they forged a deep bond.

But as you could see in that picture above, Maggie was very old and very tired. She knew what was coming. I often saw her standing with her head low, soaking up the morning sun as if the weight of her own head was too great. 

Here's the two of them last week- always hungry! They hear the back door open and are at the fence like, "Hey! Isn't it meal time?!!?!?" (Maggie wasn't really a small as she appears above; somehow my perspective made her look so tiny, like a pony!) 

Maggie was a real character. Due to her chronic lameness, I only was able to ride her for a couple of years after she arrived here.  But that was fine: she was a delightful member of our herd. She loved to pick her food dish up when it was empty and shake it around and the toss it as if to say, "Fill this thing up again, dammit!". She often had a mischievous twinkle in her eye and liked to try and bite me, especially when I attempted to put one of her blankets on her. The funny part of that was she had few teeth and made a weird clacking noise. She also had no sense of personal space and enjoyed walking directly into you. (And her eyes were fine, believe me!) 

Here's Maggie busy at another one of her "hobbies". She was really good at getting super dirty. She rarely used the barn and stood outside in whatever kind of inclement weather. Maggie loved to get down on the ground and roll- which was fine when she was younger (in the picture above) and could right herself easily. In the last few years, however, she would get down to roll and was frequently unable to get herself back up. Imagine attempting to lift a piano; she was that heavy. We called upon friends to come and assist in righting her but the danger was in her hurting herself (or us trying to help her). 

Here's on of my favorite pictures of Maggie. What could be better than a horse and sculpture?! We used to let her graze on the lawn in the backyard. Look at that nice round butt! Anyone who has seen Maggie in the last couple of years will remark on just how skinny she'd become! It was her time...

Her departure to the Great Pasture in the Sky was peaceful and dignified. She is missed; Neko is very sad and missing her pasture mate. I know we'll get through this but we're all mourning our beloved Maggie.

A World of Shit

 

Originally, this was meant to be a light-hearted blog post about how much horse poop I am surrounded by on a daily basis. (*1) Two horses produce quite a lot of feces in the average 24 hour cycle, but hideous weather where everything froze up into thousands of rock-hard equine byproduct pyramids has rendered our horse field a truly sordid mess... and that was the funny idea for a post! Hahahha!!

Close up of multi-layered poops. Sometimes it seems the horses are "trying to help" by eliminating multiple times in one spot. I dunno; what occurs is shit insulation that makes the whole lump harder because ice forms and doesn't thaw underneath. I can't win! 

Here's Mount PoopMore. And see all the lumpy darker items in the background? Yes, more horse shit! That chestnut-colored item off to the upper left is one of the instigators of all this mess.

But my point is... the world is shit! I am so freaked out/disgusted/angry/scared/horrified at what putin has done in Ukraine! We are surrounded by shit, and the shit produced by other people! So it's not awful enough that we're (still) in a pandemic, have Climate Crisis to deal with, have half of our country's population getting weirder and scarier by the minute... and now we have to consider the distinct possibility of nuclear annihilation? No wonder I'm exhausted!

Although this was a pretty funny scene: I looked out our back door and wondered why Neko seemed so tall. On closer inspection it was because she had scaled Mount PoopMore- maybe to see what she could see? Who knows what goes on in the horsey mind?!!

And now putin has apparently put nuclear forces on alert?!?!?!?! Aughh! Will we live to experience Mardi Gras? (*2) Will I ever get my field cleaned up? Will it even matter?!?!?? (*3)

Picture of other suspect, Maggie. A million years old and still going (somewhat) strong. Included for no other reason than she produces 1/2 of all the equine excrement littering our fields and our lives. She shouldn't be left out!!

(*1) Typically, I keep a rigorously clean field and shovel the daily output of poop into glamorous piles which are then directed to our composting piles. Hygienic and productive!

(*2) Bob and I are going out to try and score a King Cake today. Maybe this will cheer me up!

(*3) Oh yeah: Fuck putin. I've gotten all existential...

Satan's Pony

Doesn't Neko just look the picture of innocence all sleepy in the morning sun? Isn't she sweet? Isn't she just the bestest little pony? Ha! Don't let her fool you for one minute. Neko has been busy devising devious plots and dastardly deeds!

The other day, at around 6:30 when it's still dark, I go to feed the horses. Usually there are two semi-visible silhouettes near the top of the field, eagerly awaiting their slops 'n' grub. This morning, I'm seeing Maggie and I think, "Oh, Neko must be in the barn or lower down in the field".  But as I round the barn, I see Neko and it takes a minute for me to decipher why she looks odd. Then I realize she's on the wrong side of the fence!

She herself seems a tad confused or embarrassed (yes, I'm anthropomorphizing) and follows me through the side gate, docile and hungry. I know now that this is not the first time she has escaped; last week, Bob announced that there were piles of horse poop behind his studio. I said, "Nay; it cannot be our horses. They're both present and accounted for"... which they were. A careful tour of the fence perimeter showed no signs of having been pulled down so we came to the conclusion that someone else's horse must have gotten loose and come to visit Maggie and Neko. But having found her on the wrong side of the fence, I now know better.

Neko's like, "Whaddyou lookin' at?" It still remains quite a mystery how she got herself through the ELECTRIC fence- unscathed- and back inside (last week). I realize poor Neko is certain she's starving to death and must escape from our evil pasture to find sufficient forage, but she really is a Houdini. She had no scrapes, no damage to her person, did not disrupt the fence. The fact that she got herself back in; I just don't know how she did it.

Hopefully, she will be unable to duplicate her recent nightly escapades as I ran out to Home Depot and secured a bundle of fiberglass poles and reinforced the fence line. (Like I really felt like doing this... I was hoping to go for a ride that afternoon.) She came to the bottom of the field and watched me insert the new poles, as I lectured her about her perfidy. I wish she were contrite!

Later that same day, I caught her with her big fat head pushed sideways, between the mesh fence and the hot electric line, bending another section of fence down so as to snack on the other side. Bob and I are in the process of replacing this fence line, as it is old and rusty. But now we're required to double up on the electric line. Ah! The joys of horse ownership!

Horse Hosin'

 

After remarking that I bath my horse Neko after riding her in hot weather, my sister Beatrice suggested as how this would be an interesting blog post. I realized that this was probably true as not many of my blog followers have horses or experience the pleasure of hosing down a large animal. I kept forgetting to bring my camera or phone along with me but finally, today, I was prepared.!

Following a vigorous episode of "torturing" my poor pony by demanding that she perform all kinds of arcane movements, like stopping and turning left or right, she can be sweaty. 

Typically this occurs under the girth and beneath the saddle pad. You can just spot wash it off but when it's really hot and humid- like today- they LOVE to get wet!

I always start by hosing the feet and legs first, as their hooves can be hot and need cooling first. I've been told this by several experienced horsey people so that's what I do! So after all four feet and legs have been wet down, the rest of the horse is fair game.

You will notice, Neko's eyes are actually closing; she's like, "Oh boy! This feels GOOD!". 

You will also take notice that I don't even have a halter on her as she enjoys this so much that she simply stands there. In fact, Maggie often crowds in, wanting to get hosed, too.

There's Maggie in the background, enjoying some of the over spray. I am only hosing Neko today; I don't use shampoo or soap often as that can dry their coats. Plain old water is better. It's like going swimming.

And here comes on of those funky details that you probably wouldn't have guessed at. A mare (a female horse) has her mammary glands (read: horse boobs) between her hind legs. They can get a nasty, waxy build up soooooooo we gently hose up there and then reach in and remove any crud.

You knew that was coming!! Yuck! Removing this must feel really nice as they often spread their legs a bit wider and accommodate my efforts. Oh, the pleasures of horse ownership! 

I then finish up by squeegeeing off excess water. Neko is looking at me as if to say, "What!? All done? Do it again!" And of course, a horse loves being squeaky clean and shiny and experiencing our standards of grooming and hygiene... WRONG!

The next thing that Neko does is lay down and roll, the better to adorn herself with dirt and dust:

You can only imagine the self-satisfied grunts that accompany this. Heaven.

And lastly, here's Neko, doing what Neko likes best- eating, delightfully encrusted in a patina of dirt, but cooled off!

New Project! (Equine Activity Inspired Edition)

 

Here's Horse #1 stopping by to say "hello". Maggie is essentially a large lawn ornament for these past several years, occasionally indulging in her new pass time, "Collapsing Over While Sleeping". Such fun! She looks like one of those small toys whose legs bend in wonky angles when you press on the underneath of the stand:

Hahhaahaha! Especially entertaining when you're considering she's an 800 pound beast. We run around clapping our hands and yelling her name in an effort to get her to right herself. Never a dull moment. But where I going with this blog?

Here's Horse #2. Hi Neko! (Love how I captured that live action tail!)  Anyway, this post is more pertinent to her, as I ride Neko and I am currently attempting to expand my riding area. Here's what it  looks like at the moment:

It looks like a huge flat expanse from this vantage point, but once you're careening around at high speed, atop a deranged beast (that's Neko's department) it looks a whole lot smaller! So I have considered for quite a while now how to expand our riding horizons. I debated surreptitiously moving, under cover of the night, our property line/fence line; our neighbors would never know, right? No... I suspect that's illegal, along with being pretty un-neighborly behavior! So I am undertaking expanding into the scrubby, woodsy strip to the right (in the picture above).

Currently, it's a pile of wood, still left over from that tornado of several years past:

and a mess of poison ivy, bittersweet and adolescent trees. (Probably ticks and snakes, too!) But does that stop me? Not on your life; I'm made of sterner stuff! I got the my tools together: loppers, a rake, hand pruners and my wheel barrow. (I had to move a pile of compost that I had deposited here, thinking it was "out of the way". Ha! As soon as something is placed in an "out of the way" location, a better use for that particular spot is found and you have to move the first stuff. I think Bob and I specialize in this!)

Anyway, three or so hours later, I had made good progress. You can actually walk behind the pile of wood, and Bob's going to fire up the ol' chainsaw and remove some of the larger trees. We're also happily digging out rocks and some pesky stumps. Like I said, never a dull moment!

Two Big Ol' Holes

 

Here's Big Hole #1! Bob did a marvelous job of excavating a huge privet bush that was at the rear of my Blue Garden. He sledged and dredged and maddoxed and dug for several days... a little at a time. Out it came and now we have a giant hole. 

Here's Robin the Good exploring said hole. I think she was contemplating burying one of her many treasures (odd bits of stick, ends of rawhide chews etc) but we have other plans. The idea is to move this Abelia mosanensis into the hole:

(Sorry about the lousy picture but the shrub is just a bunch of twigs right about now! And no, that is not a skull in the lower right; it's an entirely desiccated remains of a squash.) We're endlessly having to move things initially planted in the wrong spot- the plight of the gardener! The privet did act as a screen and hid us from view of our neighbors, but it wasn't a lovely specimen and it sent up baby privets all through my Blue Garden. Good riddance! The Abelia is covered in lovely white flowers in spring and it smells nice too boot. Plus it will quickly become every bit as large as that privet was. It will move all fifteen feet into it's new home (hole) after the full moon wanes a little.
 

And here's a find! This is not a hole per se, but what was once inside one of our horse's mouths now be a big hole! Yes, that's an equine tooth and most probably from our senior citizen horse Maggie. She doesn't have many teeth left to begin with (we feed her almost entirely pre-soaked foods) but there it was lying on the ground, right next to her grain dish. I'm not sure exactly what to do with it but maybe I can fashion a lovely bolo tie clasp out of it!

Things To Take Our Minds Off The Next Several Days: Horse Reincarnation

There's me and Neko after successfully jumping that giant cross rail! All 12 inches of it! My riding instructor (hi Maiya!) tricked me into it. Neko was like, "Uh... no big deal" but to me it was a remarkable feat of daring-do! But it does prove that Neko and I are working well together. Goodness knows, something better work well in the next few days, as we prepare to transition from constant insanity into (hopefully) relative calm...

In any event, I have sneaking suspicions that Neko may be the reincarnation (*1) of my childhood horse Dolly. Poor Dolly was rescued- thanks to Daddy- from a starvation situation. Dolly regained her health, if not a gorgeous shape, as she always retained a distended belly due to near starvation. But she was a saint! She and I and Woofie the Dog spent so many wonderful hours riding the blue trails in our nearby woods and cantering gleefully across Grandma's field. Truly a heart-horse that I could trust to never put a foot wrong.

So when I met Neko, there was something that just clicked in me. She and Dolly were about the same size and the same color and have the same funny "blonding" down to her hooves- instead of socks:

And nice hard feet! (Poor Maggie never had good feet. (*2) Neko also has the same coloration on her muzzle: (And such a nice big, dark, deep eyes!)

But most curiously, Neko has a split in her right ear... as did Dolly!

And there's just something about Neko- although younger and more full of beans- that reminds me of Dolly; maybe her relative level-headedness? Neko rarely spooks but carefully looks at things. Neko makes me think of Dolly, had Dolly never been starved and abused. And while you're here, take a look at Neko's tail which is a brilliant mixture of all sorts of shades of blonde through deep brown:

Neko is proving to be quite a good girl. Sometimes, she plays "Miss Crabby Pants" and her ears snap back when I ask her to move out faster, but I think she does this for show. She settles right down and then puts on the Happy Face and her ears go forward and she seems pleased. We have a ways to go before we iron out all our differences, but I for one am enjoying myself thoroughly. Riding takes my mind off politics... that in itself is a healthy thing!!

 (*1) My sister Cathy mentioned the same thing about Neko reminding her of Dolly when she saw a photo on Facebook, so I'm not entirely imaging this.

 (*2) Here's Maggie (officially still Horse #1) to say "Hi", begging the age old question, "Why the long face??!!"

 

And A Little More Anxiety Please!!

 

Don't be fooled: the photograph of our jack o' lantern is a distraction. I didn't think to document the following story as it was unfurling as it was too real-time awful and all-demanding of our attentions.

Never a dull minute around here! I trotted out "bright and early" (read actually pitch dark and fucking freezing) to feed the ponies. (*1) (You knew it had to involve them, right?) There's Neko, never one to be late for a meal, already waiting at the gate issuing, "I'm hungry!" and "Where have you been with my morning slops?!?!" whinnies. I'm wondering where Maggie is but figure she knows by now I feed her on the other side of the fence, away from our friend Neko (who bolts her food so as to scarf Maggie's down as well). I'm looking and looking and still no Maggie so I open the gate and start walking down the field when I spy a dark lump on the hillside. My first thought is, "Oh hell; Maggie has gone and died!" but when I called her name, her head came up and she nickered to me. 

Sure enough, just like last year (look it up on my blog) Maggie had once again cast herself on the hill. Her feet were uphill and she couldn't right herself. Additionally, poor Maggie is as old as that hill and probably not the strongest equine around. I went down to her and petted her head and made sure her blanket wasn't caught on her legs and preventing her from standing. Tough old thing that she is, she kept trying to stand. I even went and got her grain, thinking food being a super inducement, she might succeed in standing. It didn't work so I retreated to the house to inform Bob that, "Houston, we have a problem." I'm positive that Bob's love of horses is growing astronomically every day!

Did I mention that there was snow on the ground, it was 22 degrees and still only 7:00, pre-time change? And then I remembered that my riding instructor had always said to call the horse farm if anything like this happened. And I did just that, despite not having left on especially hospitable terms. (Don't ask: an unfortunate string of events this springtime). Anyway, I called and Jess answered and agreed to rouse her husband and come right over. Troopers these horse people!!

A darker, nighttime picture for a visual interlude.

Neko kept eating, Jess and Scott arrived, Bob located ropes, I thrust a thermometer into Maggie's posterior (such fun!) and when it was documented that she was still warm and alive, ropes were looped around her feet and hey presto! Maggie was flipped over and stood up in a single bound and trotted off up the hill just like that.

Horses! Gotta love them (or not). They do some pretty stupid things and it is documented that they can get hurt on almost anything- including a slight hill in their pasture. I thanked Scott and Jess profusely and later bought them a really nice bottle of champagne (which I know they appreciated. How else to reward their heroic call to duty?!) (Although Sabina my riding instructor informed me, drily, that they didn't come to help me; they came to help the horse! Hahahahaha! Who cares?!) 

Bob was mad at Neko who seemed blissfully oblivious to her pasture pals distress but I guess someone among us had to maintain calm. 

So I'm still a nervous wreck about Tuesday's election, somewhat sanguine about the outcome but expecting havoc. And everything inducing stress in the last blog posting still applies. Bob thinks I need an exorcism!

(*1) I also have to insert that I really hadn't slept the night before at all (full blue moon etc) and had said to Bob, "After I feed the horses, I'm going back to bed". Really!??!?!?!!?!?

 

Mercury (Always) Retrograde

 

What could be a better antidote to the current incarnation of Mercury Retrograde than two charming equine friends sharing lunch at BobnRita's All You Can Eat Buffet? Look at that near perfect imagining of the Peaceful Kingdom. And as Mercury has gone so spastically retrograde, I sought solace in the company of Horse Number1 and Horse Number 2.

I was truly having a lousy day, having received two (2!!) notifications that my unemployment claim had been hacked, my cell phone plan is almost up (and they're playing inconsistent pricing and the fucking cell phone won't let me pick up when the phone rings!!), and I missed several call from a doctor's office (I walked into the clothes line late at night and clocked myself in the eye...) and neither pair of pants I ordered fit. (Same size but one pair waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to big and the other waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too small!) I decided to play with Neko instead.

Here's Horse Number 1: Hello Maggie!

So I drag all my gear out to the pasture (saddle, helmet, bridle, grooming box etc etc) and approach Neko saying all manner of sweet nothings and pleasantries (such as, "What a good horsey!! Come here my pretty girl!") and she takes one look at me, throws the stink eye and ducks behind Maggie. I think, "Haha! Silly pony! You can't escape me! I'll just catch Maggie and you'll follow her!"

Hahaha! Silly Rita! Maggie caught the "I don't want to get caught either" bug and trotted up the hill with Neko trailing her. Then the fun really broke out as every time I approached the pack of two horses- now fully enjoying their game of catch-me-if-you-can, they took off at a brisk canter (Neko) and a wonky, wobbly lope (Maggie). And around and around we all went.

Needless to say, by this point I was sweating and furious, but still trying to hide it. I even carried a horse food pan around, hoping to trick one of them into being lured by the (empty) promise of grain.  But by the time they had sailed by me 90 times at 90 miles an hour, I was done. I responded by encouraging them in their game of Rawhide with much yelling and whooping and driving them forward. (*1)  I cracked my whip and hooted and hollered, terrifying poor Bob who later confessed he had heard the commotion and prudently stayed away. Robin joined in at the fence line, woofing and running and generally enjoying this display of pandemonium. I finally had had it. I left the field, feeling utterly defeated by Mercury and a pair of very naughty horses.

Here's Horse #2: Neko. The main culprit who got it all started: (And boy does she like to eat!!)

I went out to the field later to see how my criminal pair was doing- and if they'd ever let me near them again. Well, two very contrite ponies met me at the fence and came right up and allowed themselves to be caught and brushed and have their toes picked out, all the while staring at me with adoring, dewy eyes.(*2) I had to laugh.

And yesterday when I went to work with Neko she didn't give me trouble at all when I went to catch her. Stood like a charm and followed me around like a puppy. I trust that this is the sort of behavior I can expect in the future!! (*3)

(*1) Yes, I KNOW this was probably entirely the wrong thing to do, but I was playing off the old "keep their feet moving" theory of horse work. The lead or alpha horse pushes the other horse(s) around by driving them away from food etc and keeping them moving.

(*2) So I know I'm projecting; I don't really believe that horses feel remorse for naughty behavior, but it made me feel better.

(*3) Not likely!

Nu Horz

 

OMG! Suddenly- after much anticipation and delay- Candy/Candy/Nico/Neko*(1) is here! I feel like I'm hallucinating... She's so laid back, so zen, so chill; she got off loaded from the trailer and we put her in her pasture and she fell right to eating. Good girl!!

Meanwhile, "Horse Number One" aka Maggie is carefully sequestered on the other side of the fence*(2) and her eyes are bulging out of her head:

She's like, "Who's that and where did she come from?!??!!?!" Hopefully, they become fast friends and live happily ever after. I will be keeping them separated for about a week. If they seem accepting of each other that's great. If they don't... well tough! Life may be a bit more complicated for the near future but isn't that what makes life fun? Just wait until grain feeding time... then the excitement will really begin.

Anyway, I'm sort of surprised that Robin hasn't seemed to notice that we have a new horse or has decided that all horses look alike or something because (atypically) she is not barking. Glad some one else is low key; my head is still reeling that we*(3) now own two horses.

That's Maggie thinking things over. I trust she will like having pasture company in the form of another equine pal. She hasn't seen one of her own kind in a while. I have been letting her smell my hands and clothes when I come back from riding but this is an escalation. 

At least the arrival of Horse Number Two (they're now like those multiple wives of sultans) has kept me from obsessing over the endless parade of crazy news. NOT!! See *(4) below.

*(1) Although officially, her name is Neko... by popular demand.

*(2) I'm thinking of the old adage, "Good fences make good neighbors". Hahahhaha: Get it? "Good NEIGH-bors"?!

*(3) Thoughtfully including Bob in my insanity.

*(4) And speaking of insanity, how about the entire rethuglican party deciding to go all positive for the virus? Does that surprise anyone? No masks, no social distancing... what a bunch of losers!

OK (Boomer) Corral

 

So here is the original structure to the round pen, with only side "bars" to be added. Don't tell the horse that the "rails" that will run along the side are only electric fence tape (2" wide) that are (obviously!) NOT electrified. The appearance of fence will work because she's not a young, crazy horse and isn't going to be throwing herself at the fence like a mustang fresh off the range. Nico/Neko is a level-headed 9/10 year old who just needs tweaking and bonding (with me!) through ground work.

Here I am on Nico/Neko who is listening to me and saying, "Whaa?!??!" She didn't get that I wanted her to just stand there so I could take this photo; this is yesterday where she's still at the horse farm. Just wait until she gets home! She has no idea how nuts we are!!! Hahahhahahhaha!!

And here's the (almost) completed round pen:

Looks pretty good, right? All I need to do is make a gate that fills this OK Corral-type opening:

Maggie (remember her?) seems to get that this is a somehow horse-related intrusion into her grazing area. She's been flirting with walking around the edge, grazing and giving the fence the side-eye. Just wait until SHE sees me and Nico/Neko playing in it!