Toe Jamb

 

Ouch! This posting starts off with a clever pun for a title. While moving barefoot from the bedroom, where I had finished a pleasant yoga session, to the bathroom- a distance of approximately eight feet- I succeeded in ramming that awkward space between my little toe and it's neighbor (ring toe?) into the jamb of the doorway. (*1) Two days later, I'm still limping. It is somewhat better, but my plans to ride my pony were hobbled by my inability to get any pair of boots on my hoof with causing excruciating pain. My old sneakers are the best I can do. I am resigned to sedentary indoor activities.

We do have a new(er) car, however, which is big news and good news! It was shockingly debilitating to be transportation-less and although helpful friends volunteered rides to stores and Insta-Cart-like experiences, we succeeded in locating a likely car rather quickly.

Hooray! We're very happy with our new red rocket, although temporarily I am unable to drive it as my right toe is part of my right foot which is required to depress the gas and brake pedals. That causes pain! But it looks good sitting in the driveway and Bob can drive it. 

In the meantime, I am eagerly awaiting the start of the seventh January 6 Select Committee hearings. It was supposed to be on at 10:00 am but got moved to 1:00 pm. At least this is something I can do while incapacitated by a swollen and painful toe. Lock him up!!!

(*1) I am aware that "toe jam" is a nasty, smelly substance that develops between the toes of unclean individuals. Fortunately, I am not one of these sufferers! And on that note, do you know anyone who admits to toenail fungus? Is this really an epidemic? Because I see all kinds of ads in magazines and on-line that want to cure it!

A Small Procedure (Kinda Gross)

This posting is not for the faint of heart and contains graphic descriptions of blood and pus and gore. The human body- mine!- is more than capable of producing some pretty disgusting things. To whit, about a week ago, I noticed that I had a reddened slightly irritated area at the very top of my right thigh. (Due to the sensitive nature of where this "visitor" is/was, I have edited out the general view of my body. See photo.This picture isn't even from my friend the bump at it's most dramatic) I figured it was an ingrown hair or something and that it would disappear as quietly as it had appeared in the first place. But I was wrong.
Every day, my MiniMe (as Bob dubbed it) grew bigger and redder and well, angrier. On Wednesday, during the snow storm, I confessed to Bob that I was worried as I was starting to walk just a little funny and getting dressed was an ordeal as certain articles of clothing had trouble clearing my now mountainous bump. Bob helpfully suggested that it looked as if I were growing testicles. (It has been remarked that I do have "balls"...) I decided that if it ever stopped snowing and Bob got the snow blower going, I should probably make a visit to a doctor.
So today, (the earliest they could see me) I went to the doctor, naively thinking they'd probably give me a prescription for antibiotics and tell me to keep an eye on it. Instead, I was informed that I needed a procedure and that I really shouldn't go to work afterwards as I would probably be pretty uncomfortable. This is early on Friday and I don't think I was prepared for the idea of a procedure let alone for the size of the needle that was presented for lancing; at least, I escaped something called "packing" where they stuff some sort of material (insulation? cement?) into the hole created to keep it open. The initial probing was uncomfortable, but the needle inserted to administer the local numbing agent was a killer. "Ow", I volunteered. "Real ow", "Even more OOOW". And then the nice doctor (I did like her) began to knead and squeeze. This didn't hurt as I was numbed, but boy I could see her shoulder muscles working. And it seemed like it took ages. There was quite a quantity of nastiness residing in my thigh; when I dismounted the table, the sheet was all wet and red around the edge. Yuck.
So I was bandaged and given a prescription for ten days of major antibiotics and a pain pill (which is why I'm typing carefully: I'm not supposed to operate machinery and I'm actually letting spell check check my spelling.) And I got to stay home from work! They gave me a dismissal slip- just like being in elementary school. Once again, thank heavens for Obamacare. My copay for medications was only $24, which relieved some of my anxiety about going to the doctor.
So much for today's medical adventure. I am certain I will offer updates on my recovery... maybe I'll even take a photograph of the "after" site. I'm sure it will look gross for several days. Thank goodness I have the weekend to limp around, listing portside. And thank goodness I had something to blog about besides the weather. Hahahaha.