Red 'n Shiny: Part 2

Hey! there's our truck! Also shiny and red... but not so new as that spiffy lawn mower. This is the BAD part of the story. (Although the truck is shinier than usual because Bob carefully hand washed it before our trip.)
Bob needed to go to Vermont to install two sculptures; one at the North Bennington Outdoor Sculpture Show (or NBOSS google it) and another at the Bennington Museum. Despite COVID 19 throwing monkey wrenches into travel plans (like not being able to stay at the motel we typically stay at due to our hailing from a "restricted" part of Connecticut), we decided to go up for the day. Just an efficient whirlwind tour up Route 7, drop the sculptures, maybe eat some lunch and motor home. There are people we like to spend time with in Vermont and other attractions we like to visit (like MassMoca) but many are closed and humans are socially distancing. So it was going to be a no-frills sculpture install.
I drove us up as Bob is The Maestro and I wanted him relaxed and fresh for moving his sculptures. The truck ran like a top and deposited us in front of the North Bennington railroad station, where Bob's entry into last year's show was placed. Bob dismantled his (old) sculpture, unloaded his new sculpture and was going to move the truck across the street... when it wouldn't start. No noise, no nuthin'- just silence. While attempting to maintain a semblance of rationality (and inside screaming, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! How can this be happening?!?!?!"), Bob called AAA and tried to read off a 15 digit number and explain what was up with our truck while a huge freight train rumbled past (great timing! Lots of railway crossing clanging and that long lonesome wail of the train's whistle). I meanwhile jiggled some wires and Hey presto! The truck turned over and we drove it across the street to the new location for Bob's new sculpture. (*2)
At this point, we were still awaiting AAA. Bob had the sculpture to install and our friend Andy (another sculptor from Connecticut, also in the show) arrived and between him and Joe (the curator of the show and a big fan of Bob's) they made quick work of setting up Bob's piece. I bought lunch somehow hoping that refueling us would magically cure the truck, or at least temporarily lift our flagging spirits.
AAA arrived and pronounced our starter a non-starter but managed to pop the clutch and get the truck started after Andy and Bob pushed the truck with the AAA guy driving (*1). The AAA man helpfully told us, "Don't turn it off. Just keep it running." I'm thinking, "Let's just get in the truck and fucking drive home..." but Bob had yet to load the old sculpture and install the one at the museum. I for one was not having a good day.
But we did eat lunch and Andy and Joe graciously suggested that THEY would take Bob's sculpture to the Museum and install it (apparently that show was on a hill in a field behind the museum. There was no way we were going to drive up there, risk stalling the truck and have to call AAA to some outlandish hillside pasture location). So good friends to the rescue! Three cheers for fellow sculptors!
I told Bob that I'd drive home, thinking that my nerves were so bloody frayed that at least driving would focus me and maybe I wouldn't completely melt down.
Long story short is that we made it. We didn't stop for anything (luckily, we needed neither gas nor a bathroom break) but I didn't breathe easy until we turned into our driveway. The truck is now at the garage for repairs. Guess what? The truck started on the first try this morning so it's probably not the starter, but a wire or connection. Hahahahaaha!
And if you're squeamish, skip the picture below, because it's not just lawn mowers and trucks that are red and shiny. How about my festering flesh?

Yuck! I look like the village leper but I guess it serves me right for "playing" in the poison ivy. You know me: live dangerously. (It actually looks worse than it feels.)


(*1) I myself became expert at doing this when I drove Triumphs and MGs all those years ago. This is one of the many beauties of standard shift vehicles.
(*2) The further irony here is that Bob had taken the ruck to be serviced the day before. He had had an oil change and an "all points check". Battery good, truck seemed fine and ready to go, so this wasn't some kind-of-expected "oh we should have maintained it better" episode.

Behind the Green Door

Hahhahahaa! Isn't that the name of a 1970's porn movie? (*1) Well, behind this green door there is our living room and- nothing to see here! Anyway, the picture is simply to show our attempt at a "classic" "formal" container planting by our front door as we're clearly such classic, formal individuals!
So as a complete break from the COVID 19 crisis and the newly minted crisis of The Orange Menace threatening to call in the military to squelch protesters after a million too many deaths of Black Americans at the hands of racists, I've been gardening! And making ART! Two entirely wholesome activities that help keep me from having panic attacks...(*2). I'm sure I have company in alternately despairing over the violence and hatred in this country and trying to avoid the news altogether.
So here are some recent wholesome activity updates:

Here's a view of the newly weeded and resurrected Blue Garden. This are was so full of escaped run-amok Blue Lyme Grass (elymus arenarius to those with a penchant for Latin) which does tend towards being an aggressive- but attractive!- grass. I dug up about three hundred cubic miles of the stuff and re-planted it in two metal surrounds. Hopefully, I can enjoy its powdery blueness while controlling its zeal to conquer. I also planted two more sky blue truly beautiful Delphinium; a close up please!

And that color is accurate. I am holding off planting the deep purple Delphinium here as we're still enjoying its company on the terrace in a pot. The Blue Garden is an endlessly entertaining exercise in pigment restraint; so few flowers are really blue. Most tend towards a smudgy off-lavendar kind of shade. As most of you will notice that I tend to be pretty rampant in my color interactions in other parts of the garden. In general, I like a lot of color.
But what else did I rip out beside Blue Lyme Grass? This bed was (and parts still are!) totally overrun with poison ivy. The bane of my gardening existence! Here's a lovely shot of what I'm up against:

Weaving its evil way through everything. I carefully donned dirty clothes, latex gloves and tall boots and commenced to rip it out. Then I stuffed it all in a trash bag and left it to rot. I carefully peeled all my clothes off, jettisoned them to the washing machine and scrubbed my hands, wrist and face (as I knew I touched it) with Dawn dish soap. It was interesting because I think the poison ivy juices that contacted my face wanted to erupt, but couldn't so my face felt "funny" for a day and then nothing happened. But look at knee where I had a tear in my pants:

I got a minor case there! I wish I had thought to wash my knee. But I'll live and I did remove most of that noxious weed. Not bad for a day's digging.





(*1) Yup! A "classic" of the kind (apparently).
(*2) And no, I am not denying the awfulness of what is occurring. You know me: I have three pieces going in my studio- directly in response to The Orange Menace and his evil ways! The newest one is "Human Scum", inspired by his description of Never Trumper Republicans. Really?

Good Fences and Neighbors- Again!

I was so excited to get this project underway that I plum forgot to take pictures or document it until too late! But see all that nice new fencing? Five whole panels (at 8 feet a panel that's an additional 40 feet of coverage!) that weren't there yesterday morning...
Last week, I announced to Bob that I was considering hiring our good friend Joe to assist me in erecting more fencing. Bob eagerly seconded my idea as he has been super busy with metalwork orders and he knew how anxious I was to get this fence section completed. It is right next to my famous Lilac and Shrub Departments... new additions as of the last couple of years, and in need of a bit of privacy. I felt exposed and self-conscious while gardening down there; sometimes I'm covered from head to toe in mud (or worse!) and wearing my gardening clothes- short hand for my weirdest and most expendable outfits... ripped, torn, and filthy. So I was sparing our neighbors (very nice people) from the cringe worthy spectacle of the soiled, cursing crazy lady lurching around and stumbling over half unearthed tree stumps and poison ivy brambles.*

Even my daffodils look happier now that they are a bit more protected!
So Joe cheerfully agreed to meet me for for a day of digging, nailing, hauling and hoisting fun. He arrived at 9:00 and we lugged drill, extension cords, shovels, crow bars, electric chain saw, fence sections and saw horses into place only to realize there was a bit more "clearing" that needed doing before we set up any fence. It took us a good hour to chop, saw and haul trees, wild rose bushes, barberry and scrubby choke cherry growth away. And then we were ready to start the actual joy of post hole digging. Our soil is reliably rocky...
At some point early in our efforts, we required a ladder so that Joe- despite being heroically taller than myself- could pound the posts in. (In a moment of engineering brilliance, he thought to sharpen the ends of the posts so that they would drive in more easily) I went to Bob's studio and requested a ladder and Bob helpfully asked "how many sections we had gotten up". Hahaha! He was surprised- and concerned- when I said, "None!" I think he thought we'd never get on with the job.
But we did! By coffee time (typically about 3:00 or 3:30) we were well on our way and had completed the job by 5:00. It looks great! Even our neighbor next door suggested that we needn't have put the "good side" of the fence towards them; I'm sure they're glad to be spared my weird hijinks and wardrobe crimes AND they get the "good side" of the fence! Deal! Good neighbors!

*Additionally, we no longer have to stare at their dozen or so parked cars and snow mobiles.

Fun with Fungi!

The persistent rain and weird weather may not be to my liking but the mushrooms, toadstools and other forms of life seem to love it! Our yard has become a hot-bed of exotic species. Down by the lilac bed I discovered the above specimen, simply erupting from the lawn.

And this tiny puffball is only a few feet away. Bob eats them. As he hasn't died yet, I guess they're safe to consume but the whole house smells like mushrooms when he cooks them. I'm not a big eater of mushrooms; I will tolerate them on pizza because their sneaker-bottom rubberiness and peculiar flavor is masked by cheese, garlic, spice and tomato sauce. These guys can get huge! We once had one in our yard back in Bridgewater that was the size of a soccer ball, but Bob picks them early as they get brown and nasty pretty quickly. Also slugs and company chew on them.

Ahoy! Yet another variety, this one wriggling up the side of one of our (many) splintered tree stumps. Not certain as to the kind, but it looks like mucous ribbons. That probably edible, too. The poisonous ones are like these:

The other day, they resembled your classic mushroom shape with a clear stem and cap and little gills underneath. The tops started out a vibrant neon yellow. I have watched them explode and slime as the rain kept coming. Some of these suckers are really deadly and even mushroom experts get killed occasionally. Here's a close up:

Nothing appetizing about that! It is pretty amazing that all the above occurred in a small portion of the yard. There's loads more and it looks like fairy land. And then there's this beauty, sneaking through the fence from our neighbors...

Hello! Yes, that's a lusty poison ivy vine. I have already succumbed to several rounds of itchy festering bumps so I'm keeping my distance, no matter how friendly this vine is trying to be.

Melonheads and Other Odds and Ends

According to an article sent by a concerned friend, our road was once inhabited by beings referred to as "Melonheads". This was by all accounts a (very politically incorrect) reference to the somehow deformed (and deranged) unfortunates that resided (according to local legend) in this area and devoured pets and small children. I guess Bob and I fit right in!
On a cheerier note, the picture above was captured using (hooray!) my new smart phone. I am on a steep learning curve- me being a Melonhead and all- to figure out arcane skills like "texting" and using "apps". You will remember that I had what I affectionately called my "dumb phone" which delivered a pretty good phone call... but I never did figure out how to do really basic stuff, like delete old messages or text. And it had no camera! No Internet! So this new phone is way cool and already impressing me.
My birthday was really pretty tremendous this year. I got the aforementioned phone and other useful and fun things from Bob. And then my family visited: Hello Cathy! Hello Beatrice! Hello John! And despite the day being overly hot and muggy, we had a good time, debating who the next viable presidential candidate should be and how soon The Orange Menace will be deposed. Yuck.
But my family came through bigly and presented me with fabulous wine and plants and delicious foods. I am fat and happy.
I spent the day planting my gifts (A yellow Rhododendron "Capistrano" and an Aralia cordata "Sun King" and Sapphire Flax and Dianthus "Miss Aroma": The first two are in the shade border and the latter two are in the Blue Border.)
I will no doubt succumb to a healthy case of poison ivy because poison ivy seems to be having a good year and it's pretty much every where. First thing this morning, Bob started weed whacking the driveway and I attempted to pitch in and lend a hand. I quickly begged off though, as the poison ivy at the edge of the driveway was some of the healthiest I have ever seen and there was plenty of it. I felt bad leaving Bob to battle the overgrown and jungle-like driveway verge, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my vacation scratching and oozing.

Swell!

 OOops! That title makes my post sound like another tick tale: but it's not. I promised a nice blog posting and I am delivering. Here is a story of nascent, burgeoning spring! The buds are swelling...
Take, for example, my friends the lilacs. I planted a whole array of lilacs- offsets of Mommy's plants that have been healed in by the horse barn for ages, a few I purchase marked down at big box stores- and even one (full price) that just caught my fancy. They now have a permanent home with presents from family and friends (thanks Beatrice! thanks Bob S.!) I have "Primrose", "Red Wine", "President Grevy" and "Pochahontas", to name a few; I can hardly wait to see who blooms. (Secretly, I'll be happy with just green leaves at this point. Everything is that brown and tan and grey of late winter.)

But in the meantime, just the simple fact that these beautiful buds are erupting and creating heightened expectations for a spectacular spring are buoying me through these last brutal end of winter storms. We're supposed to have another "snow event" on Tuesday night and I'm not looking forward to it. At least the days are longer and it's not so cold- in the forties as opposed to the teens.

It's so exciting! I know there's a few fragrant blooms in tips. And all that hard work of excavating rocks and poison ivy (and getting a couple of nasty cases of poison ivy!) paid off. The lilacs all made it through the winter and seem ready to explode. I'm cheering them on!

Gardening as a Contact Sport Etc

This is what I look like after an afternoon of heavy gardening... filthy and in need of a through cleaning. I had no idea I was so dirty as I shed my shorts, but the mud that ran off of my into the shower was impressive. I probably could have planted seeds on my knees!
Additionally, I looked like I had been cutting myself as the sharp embrace that the Miscanthus I was weeding around scored my tender fore arms:

Ouch! I'm not kidding about it being a contact sport. I will also remind you that I suffered several rounds of poison ivy as well as stings inflicted by angry hornets. Pain ans suffering to deliver that beautiful garden. But the reception by participants in the garden tour was great: everyone loved our gardens and were very impressed with all our hard work. It was so entirely worth it, on so many levels. First, our place looks terrific and we get to live with that. Check out what Bob did with the door frame behind that terrace area:

Look! No broken board. No wine corks stuck on nail heads. (Not kidding.) No baby birds living in the wall. It's sealed up and weather proof and looks clean and wonderful. Being on a garden tour is great motivation for getting all those big (and small) details completed.
Bob and I are both pleasantly exhausted and glad that we committed to the garden tour, but we're also glad that it's behind us.
And I promise my next posting will be about art- remember that?

Happy Birthday to Me! (Warning: Contains graphic images)

Yeah, that kinda gross! My birthday week has been filled with stupid little accidents, mini-medical predicaments and lots of nice presents... and cake! The first thing that happened was Bob looked across the breakfast table at me and informed me that my eye was all red (an understatement). A broken blood vessel is to blame; I have been prone to these in the eye that I damaged. But this one was a bloody gusher and was awful enough that I called the Yale Eye Center. But they were less than impressed at my description and dismissed my concerns with a blase, "We really don't see people for those. It will go away on its own". And it is fading- finally- but I look like The Bride of Frankenstein and it's still enough to scare small children.

And then, as if to compliment the red theme of the week, I developed an heroic case of poison ivy (or oak) and broke out in itchy festering pustules. It really is nice when Nature conspires to make a physical wreck out of you for your birthday: it reinforces that underlying theme of mortality and the inevitable downward spiral to death and decay. Fun!
But despite these less than flattering additions to my 61 year old body, I really had a nice birthday week- and it's still continuing because friends are coming over on Tuesday to help celebrate. Family members gathered on Wednesday to shower me with delightful foods and wines and offer gifts in the form of clothing (to drape over the poison ivy) and smoky eye make up (to disguise that red eye) and fabulous plant material, in the form of two wonderful lilacs to add to my rapidly expanding shrub border and a variegated Physostegia virginiana to fill in one of the holes that has developed in the garden. (And contrary to the opinions of certain family members, I do NOT have too many plants and no where left to place them! I can easily think of at least ten specimens that I'd love to squeeze into my horticultural madhouse...) But where was I? Celebrating my birthday!
It's been a good birthday, despite the above afflictions and the intense heat. Bob and I had a nice, quiet birthday celebration, with more gifts and cake and sushi...
, which turned out to be a good thing as I needed all the rest I could get. When I returned to work on Friday, all hell was breaking loose because of the excitement provided by an estate sale as well as an auction. People were predictably rude and demanding- that's nothing new. But on Saturday, an elderly gentleman who is a regular (pain in the ass) showed up to do himself one better in the annoyance department. He became insulting and abusive after the prices on some books that he wanted to buy were higher than he liked. My supervisor advised me to call the police (fortunately located directly across the street) if he wouldn't leave. Believe it or not, he returned three times (!!!!) to harass and lambast us. He also stood in the parking lot and harangued my boss. I am happy to reoport that he didn't go home and get a gun and shoot us all, but it was a stressful day. Thank goodness that blasted sale is over!!

Shrub Border!

I should have taken a picture of this before I cleaned it up! It was a tangled mess of small saplings, rose brambles, barberry and just a general thicket of invasives and undesirables. There is probably a handsome case of "contact dermatitis" awaiting me, as I'm sure some of the vines I ripped out are slowly awakening poison ivy! Oh well...
I've been planning on creating a new shrub area for some time. Bob and I have collected a number of lilac suckers from several friends and we (spontaneously) purchased a shrub or two thinking of the future. Bob also had a few small flowering trees from my sister Beatrice having enrolled him in the Arbor Day Foundation. Those were healed into the vegetable garden and have grown impressively, making for a harder transplantation than we originally anticipated. The crab apple especially seems to have liked where it was residing and put up a fight at being moved.

Doesn't look that big but it resisted being dug up! There were a couple of dogwoods, too. One I planted out near a variegated dogwood we purchased last year. The digging in that area was so hard and it got to be late in the afternoon, so I put the other dogwood in the new shrub border. Sometimes, the path of least resistance is awfully appealing!

So it make look just like my shadow on a spot of earth, but there's a hole there waiting for a new resident. I dug and ripped and raked and dug some more- I spent the entire day outside, installing this new section of the garden. It's going to be nice, once we get the fence moved and put a new gate up at the end of a sort of natural path that leads through this former wilderness. Hey: we have friends who are down sizing and getting all happy about not having lawns to mow or gardens to weed. I just keep developing new gardens...
But look what the competition is!

We made a trip to the New York Botanic Garden last week, to deliver Bob's metal work that they sell in the shop there. (One of the horticulturalists said to Bob, "You're famous! Everyone wants your metal work!" That was cool.) But wandering around their 250 acres of trees, shrubs, perennials, bulbs and millions of specimens makes me so envious. Look at those flowering cherries above! And literally a zillion daffodils! Yikes. It was awe inspiring, but I hate to think of how many gardeners they employ. Back here at home, we only have me and Bob and Robin.

Touching the Fence

 A new garden is born! I have been meaning to begin developing a serious shade area, as opposed to a small cluster of shade plants at the end of one bed. And for my birthday, I received a new hosta (Sum and Substance) and that was that! I began digging... (Doesn't look like much yet, but you'd be surprised at how many weeds and junk I pulled out. And rocks! Here's just a partial sampling:

The area that I selected for positioning the shade garden is majorly infested with poison ivy. While I have been careful (whatever that means) I invariably develop at least one case of what can only be deemed "heroic" poison ivy every year. Here's this year's offering! And of course, it's during the hottest, stickiest time of the summer, when I'm already crabby and battling evil weather. Like last Thursday. Bob and I were supposed to go to New York for a show that I am in. "Supposed to" being the operative words. Sanity prevailed as half way to the train station, I asked Bob if he thought it was totally stupid to be going into New York with storms threatening and it being just generally polluted and nasty out. We decided to not go and the skies did open and we missed nothing, except my being in an opening with 110 other artists. I'm delighted to be in the show, but feel like a minute carbuncle on the ass of the art world. Or should I capitalize that? ART WORLD. Carbuncles? You want to talk carbuncles? Just look at my arm...

 

So today I was in a foul humor, despite having several great art ideas on my morning ramble with Jules. I spent several productive hours in my studio, and still I feel sort of at odd ends. It might have been the tremendous thunder storm that we had last night. It woke both Bob and I with one of the loudest claps of thunder I have ever heard. So my present joke is about "touching the fence". You may remember that several months back, I was having a terrible day. Nothing seemed to be going well, I was out of sorts and just not my usual chipper Little Miss Sunshine self. And then I accidentally touched Maggie the Horses' electric fence. Hey Presto! It was as if a jolt from the sky re-routed my personal misaligned electrical field because everything was fine after that. (Perhaps it was a mild form of electro shock therapy?) Anyway, my standing joke now is that if the day sucks... go ahead: touch that fence!

Busy... Just Friggin' Busy

Doesn't this look just like a lunar lander? It's actually a very cool little sculpture that our artist friend Bob Parker made for Bob and I as a house warming present several years ago. Somehow, he took a light bulb and painted it- after it was busted I guess! It's on nails as legs and typically resides on the mantle. However,  Bob was making bread one morning and the way his fingers had raked the flour on the counter made it look all textural and like moon dust. Anyway, I'm inserting this picture because it was funny and I've really had absolutely no time to do anything... except work
And that's work as in job where we've been super busy getting ready for another very large auction (and still down to one photographer and a woman who typically works in the office who's been pressed into duty taking pictures. She's doing a swell job, but protests that she doesn't enjoy it).
And more saliently, getting ready for two (major, we hope!) shows is fun but exhausting and really is taking every minute I have. I still keep marveling that people actually do things like go shopping or on field trips! Me? I have forgotten how to do anything except put nose to grind stone in the studio. But let's face it! I now have a wonderful studio to spend my time in!
Bob and I are finally going in to Bushwick- a part of New York neither one of us knows. It's a section of Brooklyn that's become full of artists and is very trendy and I'm certainly glad to be showing there. But as luck would have it, it's supposed to rain (no!) but at least it's not 100 degrees like last week when I had poison ivy on an epic level. Let's share the photo I put up on Facebook, to general gasps of dismay and revulsion.

That wasn't even the poison ivy at it's worst! I looked like a leper. It spread to my other (left) hand and I had a few gratuitous bumps on my leg and beyond. Not fun! But except for general atrocious scabiness, I'm sort of over it...
This really is a far flung blog posting, subject wise! Not too much to report except to restate how busy I've been. I'd love to be finishing up planting some things in the garden, or musing over my next project, but I'm in the middle of TWO projects and on deadlines. Enough of that rant... I'll keep you posted.

Leprosy and Sundries

Well, I may not have Ebola but I have developed a lovely collection of poison ivy buboes. (Technically not buboes; turns out that refers specifically to lymph inflammation in the armpit or groin... as in bubonic plague. But you get the idea.) Therefore I have disgusting poison ivy blisters, the above cluster is on my left knee. So with that as a reference point, I submit the following:

• Aside from the above bumbles, we seem to be pretty healthy.
• Mommy's still "with us"; meaning she hasn't departed yet. You get the point.
• Bob and I have been alternately very busy socially and wishing to be hermetic. We both have shows that are a lot closer (time-wise) than it would seem. Bob's show is in September 2015 in New Bedford at the ColoColo Gallery. His work looks terrific. Maybe I'll have him do a "guest post".
• I have the show at Artspace in conjunction with Yale this coming November. The book I'm working on- Better Guns and Gardens- is coming along nicely. A steady stream of images and puns and silliness. Who knew guns could cause such weird art ideas?
• I have a show in (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!) Brooklyn in January, tentatively entitled, "Pay to Play". It will be at Odetta Gallery and Ellen Hackl Fagan, artist, friend and now gallerist- is doing things right. I think she's onto something. Lots of research about what works and how to approach showing art in an effective way. Wish me luck! (I'll be showing with two other artists).
• The Dog and Pony are fine. Still fussy, but that just comes with being spoiled. 
• I really wanted to use bulleted lists, probably from working on Better Guns and Gardens. (Get it? "Bulleted Lists"?)
• That pesky Tilda Swinton keeps popping up at our house!
  

I don't actually remember why Tilda Swinton became such an issue at our house, Possibly simply because she's a bit weird. I mean, look at her. And does she look like she's ever eaten a cup cake in her life? So she wound up in the cupcake box, admiring (gasp!) all that FROSTING! And it's blue!! I really like that particular strain of frosting, as my sister's and family in general well know. I was denied frosting for my birthday so I vowed to score a cake or cupcakes resplendent in decadent mounds of sugary bliss. Boy are they good!!
Okay, not the smartest posting but I'm tired. I took almost 700 photos of weird porcelain monkeys (some with light fixtures in their heads), endless dish services (and it was all I could do to stop from smashing the plates so as to add them to our walkway), and endless stiff little Staffordshire people and their dogs and sheep. All in a days work!
Signing off...

Not for the Faint of Heart- (Vermin Alert)

That delightful trio of grubs is a tiny reminder of the legion of Biblical plagues besetting the hapless gardener. (Maybe it was my recent allusion to the non-rapture, but Job does spring to mind.) We have a lot of grubs- millions of them. They all seem to live in the area designated "The Agricultural Triangle"... doesn't that just figure? So every time we turn over a shovelful of soil, there's got to be a dozen grubs. Squishing them is tedious and disgusting but terminal!
And that leads to a less noxious pest- the simple small rock.

Okay, so rocks aren't gross outs like grubs, but there's more of them. For every grub, we have six rocks. And they're not pretty or glittery; these are the "garden variety" (hahahaha) lumpy little brown things.
And as far as dangerous plant life goes, check out the poison ivy. It's everywhere! Both Bob and I have succumbed to itchy, oozey skin eruptions.

The vines ascending the pine trees are like thick hairy legs. They have these amazing trunks and are actually intimidating. We've been carefully lopping them off so that the vines die, but they seem to sprout more. We are not inclined to resort to poisons...