Corporate America Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!

 

Let's throw technology into that rant, too. This was going to be a "fun" post about an interesting field trip that Bob and I embarked on a few weeks back. But no... thanks to technology, I can't get the pictures on my phone to download onto my computer so you'll just have to wait for that blog episode. Don't hold your breath. 

Okay so the remainder of this blog is an expanded argument about some of the many things wrong in our dystopian country. I was recently in an art show in NYC. As the unpredictable winter weather and COVID are issues, I decided to send my artwork via UPS. My work is easy to roll and fold so into a box it went (*1) and off to UPS I went. I groused as it cost waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more to send than I originally expected (like I could have travelled by train to NYC and back several times for less $$$) but I figured WTH, it saves time and aggravation etc etc. The show ends this weekend, so I decided to make plans to get my work shipped back home. And while I could arrange a pick up by phone or online, I went into the UPS "store" as I felt like there might be problems. Just a hunch...

At the store, I was informed that "they don't handle pick ups". I furrowed my brow and said, "But I already paid for the return of my package (insured, too!)" They said, "But we don't communicate with the drivers". To which I responded, "But you're UPS. They're UPS drivers. You have more communication with them than me, a private citizen". "Oh no," was their answer. "This is a franchise. You have to call them up." Huh? Why call yourself UPS and charge me and then pretend you have no association with the company; highly confusing.

So I returned home and called UPS. I actually got a person who informed me that to schedule a pick up, I was going to be charged and additional $10. WHAT?!?!!? I already pre-paid for a round trip for my art work, what was this about? I got into quite a long harangue and made mention that many other art works were being picked up at the same address on the same day... they stood to make a lot of additional money if we all gave them an extra $10. Sorry! That's the way that is! I called the gallery and the curator there said that others were running into this problem but that at the end of the last show, the UPS driver told the curator that as long as there was a shipping label, he'd take the packages. We'll see.

The same day (I should have known better) I decided to tackle the problem of why we couldn't get our movie selections on Disney+ to stream. Bob and I suspected a technological problem so that's the department I called. I got a young man who hemmed and hawed and apologized (corporate America is really fond of disingenuous apologies.) and finally he asked what kind of device we were attempting to watch Hamilton on. I responded a TCL TV. He sighed and said, "OH! Roku TV's won't allow streaming if you're watching a program with the ads! You have to subscribe to the premium level!" Say what?!?!? We bundled Hulu and Disney+ because the price was right and we only really wanted to see Hamilton and now I'm being told "no; you can't do that unless you pay more... or watch on a Smart Phone or our computer monitor." (Oh great! Hamilton streaming on a 2 inch screen! Fabulous!) So here too, they were attempting to extort an additional $10 out us. I went back on their bundle ad and absolutely nowhere does it say anything about Roku and ads and how disappointed you're going to be- sorry sucker!! It's not even the stupid $10 more; it's the fact they don't tell you this! Infuriating. I also sat on hold for an hour (maybe I'm really stupid...) to try and talk to a supervisor. I finally hung up and we watched the first half of Hamilton (pretty mazing!!!) on our computer. Needless to say, I'm not pleased.

Moral of the story... I don't know. We're all so bound up in corporate life. We never seem to get satisfaction and rarely talk to a real person- and when you do, they're like humanoid robots trained to tell you just how sorry they are (they're not!). Corporations are making money and not feeling any compunction about anything but making money. I was happier back when I read books and never knew I needed TV.

(*1) Word to the wise: find a box and box it yourself at home. The last time I went to UPS and inquired about a box, they wanted to charge me $50 for a cardboard box! I went home and found one of similar size in the attic and used that. They will ship in a recycled box. I mean... really?!??

(*2) So after we finish Hamilton, we're divorcing ourselves from Disney+. I don't even care about the stinking Mandalorian any more! Fuck baby Yoda!

House-aversary!

 

Hard to believe, but we moved into the architectural gem 12 full years ago! We are starting our 13th year of occupation of the Bauhaus Chicken Coop. And what a dozen years it's been! For one thing, there was a "good"  three feet of snow on the ground at the time of our closing (*1) and moving was a long, strange trip.  But despite the arduous (at times) journey, we made it and we made this place our home.

And I must say, despite a crazy world and COVID and all sorts of bizarre-o things neither Bob nor myself could have predicted, we mostly stayed (sorta) sane and are happy. Looking at this picture that I snapped this morning, I'm seeing so many of the projects that we tackled- and accomplished. My studio (to the right in the photo), the terrace (well, blocked by the picnic table) and the chimney we constructed to allow installation of the wood stove. And that's just the visible projects! We've got extensive gardens, fences galore, two (!!) horses, and a new giant screen (*2) TV!!

Yes, that's Rachel Maddow interviewing a former New York District attorney- in our bedroom. Those two rectangle to right and left are our bedroom windows so you can see just how large this sucker is. Bob and I keep reciting, "They're so big! They're life-size!" I guess the TV will provide company and excitement in the cold, dark days of winter ahead. (*3)

And congratulations to us! Bob and me! on 12 full years of home ownership and house occupation.

(*1) And this year? It was 55 degrees the last couple of days, absolutely no snow and Bob just harvested Swiss chard and Tatsoi from our garden?!?!?!?!? How's that for a bit of personal Climate Change observation?

(*2) Hell! It's gianter than I even thought... like BIG! Kinda scary, but fun!

(*3) Hahhahaha! Lest anyone thing we just took the TV out of the box, threw it up on the wall, turned it on, synced it with our "devices" and began watching... no. We started yesterday afternoon; Bob successfully wall-mounted the monster and then we encountered "issues". Like logging into Google accounts we rarely use, password conundrums and the like. I begged off after realizing that my brain had stopped working (*4) I was beginning to moan in a pitiful fashion. This morning, fortified by bagels and coffee and a tea chaser, we (somehow) managed to log on and watch TV. Success was ours!

(*4) I attempted to help Bob after a particularly strenuous riding lesson in which my instructor confused me so badly about turning left and right that I was almost punch drunk. My poor horse thinks I'm stupid and I'm surprised my instructor didn't throw her hands in the air and leave. She did threaten to spray paint a large L and R on poor Neko's shoulders... You gotta love it when someone's in the middle of the ring yelling, "Where are you GOING??!?!?" and you honestly thought you'd gone the right way... alas!

The End is Here!!

 

Well, the end of the year, not to be too melodramatic! And good-bye 2021!!

Sorry but maybe it IS the end of civilization as we have known it. I attempted to buy Bob a new TV for Christmas. Here's our old TV: 

Probably a lovely set in it's day but it's got a gigantic back that sticks out a good 18" and it doesn't have a very large picture area. It's old! And the modem that we require to allow the TV to "talk" to the dvd player needs a firm whack every few minutes to keep it running. (*1) We decided we needed a new TV.

 So I purchased what looked to me to be a huge step up; like 32" (diagonal) screen. And in all fairness, I'd done a ton of research and determined the brand and approximate size but was utterly intimidated and bowled over by all the enormous screens on view at the store. I felt like I'd crawled out from under a rock. I quickly selected my 32" set and fled the store.

I presented it to Bob on Christmas and we were both excited at the prospect of watching TV while lying in bed and feeling all luxurious and up-to-date. But somehow, I had misgivings when we brought the TV upstairs. It looked less huge; in fact, I thought it looked small. We debated for a while and finally agreed. We'd go one size up.

(Another consideration is this lovely sculpture that resides on top of the TV cabinet. The cabinet needs to accommodate TV and sculpture. Then we to arrived at wall mounting the TV and put the sculpture on another surface...)

So we went to the store- for us a still unusual excursion as COVID has kept us close to home and away from "the public"- and return the new but too small TV. We scouted the rear of the big box store, found the bigger TVs and instead of the 40", I see Bob's eyes go wide and he says, "That's the perfect size!" pointing at a 43" model. So we truly did graduate from old set to 32" all the way up to 43". (*2) The punchline is that they had two of these behemoths in stock, but the boxes were water damaged and we didn't want to take a chance on a defective TV and another return trip. I finally ordered the 43" on-line.

So we're awaiting delivery of the new member of our household. I alluded to the end being near and part of me is afraid of the novelty of a giant screen. Will it become so seductive as to reduce the time we spend reading? Will we become "like everyone else", glued to a huge screen and watching endless hours of mindless dreck? I fear for our future! Oh well, welcome to 2022!

(*1) We tried to purchase a new modem-thing and were laughed out of BestBuy and WalMart. How's that for humiliation?!? 

(*2) And yes, there are far gigantic-er tVs out there. 65", 75"... we'd have to get a bigger wall to make space for these "home theaters". And neither one of us wants our lives dominated by a TV that big!

 

KUWTK

Somehow, Bob and I successfully miss giant parts of contemporary American "culture" and survive just fine thank you. This week, despite all the news (love affairs with murdering despots, less-than-Supreme Court nominees etc etc) Bob and I discovered The Kardashians.
It was one of those weird 3 o'clock in the morning discussions that arise when we both wake up and start taking about whatever odd subject crosses our minds. I can't recall- but I'll blame Bob- which one of us said, "Just who are The Kardashians?" We started to amass the little bits and bots we both know: they seem to have big butts and large (most probably) implanted lips. There are many of them, divided into camps: Kardashians and Jenners and they have alliterative names (Khloe, Kim, Kylie, Kibble, Kanye). But what did we really know about them?

I have been able to accidentally identify a segment of the cast of players simply by standing in check-out lines and reading magazine headlines and from following the news scroll while on the Internet. They are ubiquitous (did I need to remind you?) but we had no idea that they've been on air for something like 15 years. That's impressive and says something about America's affection for stupid rich people and "reality" TV.*
Bob spend the better part of an evening watching snippets of Kardashian highlights on YouTube. We learned charming trivia about the extended tribe including ex's with names like Scott Dicksick (hey! If I had a dick it would be sick after sleeping with a Kardashian!) and the bizarre pursuit of sperm so that "all of the children would have the same father". They seem to enjoy creating artificial kontroversies and konflicts within their elaborate dynasty; the better to propagate spinoffs. I don't care if they enthrall an audience of millions, Bob and I found The Empire of Special K boring and vapid. Gosh! What will we discover next week?**



*It also partially helps to explain The Orange Menace's ascension to power.
**In all honesty, The Kardashians did keep us from dwelling on the destruction of democracy for a few hours this week.

A Truly Peculiar World- Road Trip Edition

I remembered to bring my camera along to document... Gas Station TV?? Who thinks these (post)modern things up? And where have I been? The gas station on the way to the highway entrance I use when traveling to my mother's house is conveniently located, but features the above inanity. It's as if we can't stand quietly or entertain ourselves for the five minutes it takes to fill up. No, we have to be assaulted with ads for Snickers and Chevy and inane "Gas Station TV jocks" who blather at us. And obviously. we're a captive audience. At least if there were something good on. (Strangely, I caught possibly the one useful moment; they were offering a weather map. The light was terrible- reflecting off the screen and several of my shots of other Gas Station TV offerings didn't show up.) Additionally annoying is that the TV screen takes up all the space and the input buttons for payment options are positively hidden. Very, very annoying!

And here's another annoying thing: people who drive Audis. I swear, and I know I've mentioned this before, if a person is tail-gaiting you and swerving all over the road while on their cell phones, they're driving an Audi. Or if they speed up to hit you and your dog (hi Jules!) on your morning rambles, guess what they're driving? Yup. An Audi. They are positively the worst drivers going and they must feel that superior German engineering makes up for atrocious driving habits.
In any event, the above Juniper is soooooooooooooo cool and Bob and I passed it on our way to Mommy's house. We decided to snap a photo of it on the way back by. So I slow down and Bob hands me the camera- all ready to go and I start to photograph that lovely "sky needle" and the douche bag behind me starts honking and riding up our rear end. I'll give you one guess as to what he's driving. Somehow I did get a pretty good shot, through a dirty windshield and all. The pink house in the back ground is pretty fun, too.
Hey! Guess what I want for my next birthday? (And no, it's not an Audi!)

What Is It? (Number Four)

Okay... what is it?

Here's a hint: it's in our bedroom, across form the windows on the wall where we now have our bed (interior wall). The previous owner, who produced this fine hole, had his bed between the windows and facing this hole. I know what the hole was for, so I'm ahead of the game for a change. Many of the mystery openings throughout the house remain just that and boy there sure are a lot of them!'
Give up?
It's a TV hole. We saw it with our own eyes when we looked at the house last August. Lie in bed, watch the built- in tv... simple as that! However, we like our heads lying to the north so the tv hole is now behind us and essentially useless. I did conjure a scenario where we lie in bed, have the tv above us in the hole and cleverly place a mirror at the foot of the bed and watch television backwards. We haven't tried it yet but it's a thought for a slow evening at home.