The Week of Smelling Badly

 Every where we turned last week, things stunk. Bob bought a sweater at a second hand store; a nice blue color, in good shape. But when he brought it home and washed it, it smelled like someone's terribly clinging cologne. It seems the washing re-activated the smell. He hung it up in the down stairs bathroom to dry and the whole downstairs started to smell. Bob moved it outside, to the clothes line in the fresh air.
The sweater has been joined by a used LL Bean jacket that Bob bought at another second hand store. This one smelled heavily of some sort of commercial detergent or sanitizer that they used. Bob hung it outside and standing downwind, you could still detect it. Pretty powerful stuff! It should also be mentioned that a helpful posting on the Internet suggested that clothes inhabited by a persistent smell be spritzed with vodka (!) so Bob hastened to our local package store and has doused his sweater and jacket in an invigorating cocktail. 
It therefore seems appropriate that a skunk visited on Friday morning. That temporarily erased the smell of the clothing but it was not an improvement.The skunk was probably drawn to the happy hour featuring vodka-drenched outerwear.
Also this week, we had an unfortunate experience in the check out line on Wednesday when a woman in front of us (who my mother would have described as having "a big behind") let loose with a very ripe episode of flatulence. (Hey! I'm being polite here.) We were all nicely tucked up next to her, trapped between impulse buy Slim Jims and trashy tabloids. No where to run! And wouldn't you know, we met up with her again at the bakery.
If this weren't enough for one week, we purchased balloons (pictured above) to decorate for my sister Beatrice's birthday. We're so glad we selected the fun polka dot ones because the minute I opened the package, the house was immediately filled with a dreadful petroleum reek. An hour after tying them in a festive fashion around the living room, we banished them to the outdoors. You could still see them from inside the house but we weren't in danger of being poisoned.