I Throw My Hat Into the Ring

As it is reported that there is a lack of enthusiasm among likely Democratic voters and many potential voters are wavering and still undecided AND there are still umpteen Democratic candidates, I thought, "Why not? Why don't I declare my intention to run for president?" Certainly, while my qualifications may seem skimpy, I could do no worse than The Orange Menace. At least I have read the Constitution!*
I plan on spending most of my time in my studio anyway, so I'll carefully select experts and pundits and pros and sages to actually run things. I'm simply running on the all-encompassing platform of WTF. Let's face it, I already have the tee shirts available!
My platform is pretty straight forward. I promise to minimize conflicts and war by maximizing cultural exchange. Under my leadership, we will sing and dance and make art and plant gardens and effectively dismantle the war machinery. Think what we could spend all that money on!
Additionally, I promise the following:

1.) Free studio space to anyone who wants it.
2.) Universal health care for all.
3.) Free, unlimited red wine. (Or, if you insist, white wine).
4.) Legalized marijuana.
5.) Intelligent people of impeccable integrity and credentials will hold important positions.
6.) A Climate Crisis task force will immediately convene and we will re-join the Paris Accord. 
     Alternative energy sources will be implemented and  SUVs will be phased out, along with coal
     fired power plants, nuclear reactors and fossil fuels.
7.) No guns, period. Fuck your 2nd Amendment.
8.) Nasty old men will never again make decisions regarding women's bodies.
9.) Artists, teachers and farmers will be paid more than CEOs, lawyers and politicians.
10.) Animals will be given a bill of rights. (Robin the Good and Maggie will help write this.)
11.) Anyone involved in racist, sexist, homophobic or in any other ways hateful behavior will be sent
       to re-education programs and taught tolerance and be required to perform community service.
12.) All of the errors/mistakes/evil and stupidity of the last three years will be corrected.
13.) The pursuit of happiness will be our guiding principle.

This is just the beginning! I could keep thinking of issues to deal with all day long, as I'm sure you all could add your own wishes to this list. Please contact me with your concerns! See you on the campaign trail!

*And for god's sake! If that weird Lincoln Chaffee is seriously running as a fucking Libertarian?!?! Why not me run?!