Department of Stupid

 

Look what I want for my birthday!! Yay! Someone somewhere got my algorithm right! Bright red and waterproof!! I can't wait...

The above picture is simply to get your attention while I relate a truly stupid tale. A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from the State of Connecticut's Department of the Treasury. They were delighted to inform me that I was going to be reunited with property that was mine. They expressed such joy in being able to tell me this! The email was positively bubbling over with a peculiar tone of self-congratulatory pride in the State's ability to locate me. There was a website listed- as I was skeptical that this was even real- and I checked it out.

Yup! Property that was mine was on its way... they didn't say how much or what it was, but I was being urged to watch the mail for this big delivery! At this point I was convinced it would probably be something like six dollars or an equally unimpressive sum... I

Well, there it is! A check for 6 cents. My first thought was (obviously), "You have to be fucking kidding me!" Needless to say, the State should have kept it.

Think of the ridiculous amount of work that went into the "reuniting me" with my "personal property": someone had to research my records. Someone had to set up a data base website. Someone had to send me an email. Someone else had to print and cut the check. And then they had to mail it... which cost the State 53 cents. And I'm sure I'm not alone. How many people in the State were given checks for absurdly tiny bits of pocket change? Surely anything under, I dunno, maybe ten dollars? Could have been pooled into a rainy day fund or simply forfeited to the State of Connecticut. Stupidity in Action!!

Party With the Professionals

 

For those of you unfortunate enough to have missed our fabulous garden party- due to illness, weather fears, previous engagements, etc- I offer an overview, in words and images. It really was a stunning success, due to all attendees being vigorously in the mood for a good time. COVID had (obviously) put the kibosh on anything other than small gatherings... and even those were approached with trepidation!

Great shot of Bob's sculpture (*1), a true highlight of the afternoon, along with the gardens, which looked incredible, if I do say so myself. The reason for the party, apart for the wish to see many friends drifting about, enjoying the chance to get out and blow the proverbial stink off, was to celebrate our gardens. Of course, the day dawned cloudy and rainy. We had a small tent, generously lent by friends (thank you Lydia and Vincent!!) but I was vexed, anticipating crowding all attendees beneath one small tent or having to rush them inside the house... this was supposed to be a garden party, after all! The weather gods chose to cooperate and stop raining about twenty minutes before the first guest arrived.

I was delighted to see our friends taking advantage of the day to walk around and see the garden in all of its glory, while eating and drinking and smoking and enjoying each other's company. Terrific food, congenial company, decent weather: it all was a delightful afternoon. I attempted to talk to everyone- if even briefly- but I was so busy playing "hostess with the mostess" (as was Bob). It was a busy afternoon, locating plastic forks and spoons and napkins for all gathered. But fun! We had fun!

Here I am, explaining the finer points of gardening (in The Blue Garden) to anyone who will listen. I was kept on my proverbial gardening toes by the many inquiries by inquiring minds needing to know. I reeled off Latin- and common names and hope everyone went home the wiser.

This picture is after poor Robin the Good was liberated from the (air-conditioned, soft ambient music playing, food/water/toys provided) maximum security jail that is our bedroom. We had even had her sedated (didn't work!) thinking that she'd be stressed and crazy if allowed to freely roam the party. WRONG! Worst thing I ever did was try an prevent our pathetic Robin from joining in with the festivities! Never again. She was fine and well-behaved after her parole. In this picture, I am explaining some sort of wonkish garden lore to my fellow horticultural nerd friend Bob S. Thank goodness for people as crazy and plant addicted as myself!

There's Neko in the background. I think she was curious about all the people wandering around the yard. I took several groups of friends in to meet her. Neko seemed to enjoy the odd variety of visitors. Some brought treats; others just marveled at life with large barnyard animals. Something for everyone! Novelties and oddities. Roots and tubers. Vegetables and flowers. Friends and strangers. A splendid gathering! And we don't have to do this again for at least a year! (*2)

*1) All photographs were taken by Mickie Sistrand who graciously allowed me to post them. I was way too busy to think of documenting the party...

(*2) Bob and I were exhausted. After limited human contact for the last three years, it was a lot to entertain so many people. Fun, yes but tiring. And I had to go speak at an artist's talk the next day... we were quite finished by the week's end. Typically, we used to have a big party every year- either a summer garden party or a New Year's Party. Maybe the tradition returns this year...