Department of Stupid

 

Look what I want for my birthday!! Yay! Someone somewhere got my algorithm right! Bright red and waterproof!! I can't wait...

The above picture is simply to get your attention while I relate a truly stupid tale. A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from the State of Connecticut's Department of the Treasury. They were delighted to inform me that I was going to be reunited with property that was mine. They expressed such joy in being able to tell me this! The email was positively bubbling over with a peculiar tone of self-congratulatory pride in the State's ability to locate me. There was a website listed- as I was skeptical that this was even real- and I checked it out.

Yup! Property that was mine was on its way... they didn't say how much or what it was, but I was being urged to watch the mail for this big delivery! At this point I was convinced it would probably be something like six dollars or an equally unimpressive sum... I

Well, there it is! A check for 6 cents. My first thought was (obviously), "You have to be fucking kidding me!" Needless to say, the State should have kept it.

Think of the ridiculous amount of work that went into the "reuniting me" with my "personal property": someone had to research my records. Someone had to set up a data base website. Someone had to send me an email. Someone else had to print and cut the check. And then they had to mail it... which cost the State 53 cents. And I'm sure I'm not alone. How many people in the State were given checks for absurdly tiny bits of pocket change? Surely anything under, I dunno, maybe ten dollars? Could have been pooled into a rainy day fund or simply forfeited to the State of Connecticut. Stupidity in Action!!

Green Snow and Other Visions of Spring

Yes, we repeated an old trick and sprayed our snow green. That was to celebrate brave friends who struggled through cold and the winter doldrums to eat and make merry last night. This morning. fresh snow had already obscured my pseudo-shrubbery...
Spring should be here soon. The light has definitely changed and the days seem to be lengthening and I see small harbingers on my walk. Jules and I spotted a very confused looking chipmunk running around on top of the snow. But did I mention that it's snowing again? (And more predicted for Tuesday into Wednesday? Egads!) I also saw a skunk and a herd of deer and Jules thinks something awfully interesting has been peeing in the snow on our walk.
Four days or so later and guess what? My good friend Wasil is NOT coming to Connecticut because of weather. I give up! I can't say I blame him as there is significant icing and we got stuck in our driveway two times today. The proverbial luge run! At least I don't need to worry about cleaning the downstairs bathroom.
Both Bob and I admit to deadened brains and few thoughts- original or otherwise. You know what? You can skip reading this until the my next post. I apologize for being cold and dense. But I promise my next blog posting returns to the lively discussion of artists and the vagaries of the art world. Yes, we venture back to Brooklyn tomorrow afternoon, to entertain the masses of art fair goers that are being lured to the 'hood in search of fine art!

Hey! Where's the Rest of Me?!?!?! And Corporate Stupidity

I'd say there's something missing; something called having enough horse sense to get out of the snow and rain! That's my crazy Maggie, standing around bored and wet, wet, wet. Here's the missing part:

Maggie is just here as a "cute" (if soggy, smelly, steamy horses with large noses can be considered "cute") diversion.
Anyway, now that I have your attention, I'd like to present today's sermon: Corporate Stupidity. I know; this topic could take us well into the next millennium and beyond... I may as well begin.
Banks: we all hate them. I mean, they're supposed to guard our money, and yet if memory serves me correctly, we (the American people) needed to bail a few of them out because they couldn't seem to manage their financial houses. And Bank of America is the worst. I have addressed this problem previously and assigned them the new moniker of "The Devil". Let me explain.
Bob and I have a credit card from Working Assets. This entity used to donate a portion of their fees and monies to worthy, lefty causes. It was all warm and fuzzy and supposed to make you feel good about buying things because you were helping disenfranchised, vegan, artistic lepers from Guam who wanted to marry their pets. (I was always glad to help!) And you could even cast votes for whatever organization or cause you deemed sexy. Until Bank of America swallowed Working Assets.
And it's all been down hill. No more votes for good causes or democratically motivated spending. I don't know why we still have the card. Then this came; our most recent statement:

Can't read that? I'll insert a blow up of the balance on our card:

That's right! Bank of America isn't too big to send out a bill for $0.92. Not too big to be stupid! And I am assured that if we don't pony up before the due date, they'll charge us a $35 late fee.
So I called them. I was thinking that they obviously want their $0.92 but that possibly I could just have that balance transferred to our next statement as the writing a check or calling to do a telephone transfer to cover that amount would certainly generate more than $0.92 worth of paperwork or hassle. But do you know the operator that I (finally) reached after a positively Byzantine computer driven phone loop tried- and failed!- to push that balance forward. The famous refrain of, "Once it's in the system..." was the reply.
I rest my case. How stupid was this exercise? I'm not entirely sure how I left a balance of $0.92 on our card, as I try and pay the balance off every month. I am guessing that I accidentally left off the change on last months statement. But BofA ("Bofa" does have a certain ring- like a buffoon) is really in the basement as far as I'm concerned.