A World of Shit

 

Originally, this was meant to be a light-hearted blog post about how much horse poop I am surrounded by on a daily basis. (*1) Two horses produce quite a lot of feces in the average 24 hour cycle, but hideous weather where everything froze up into thousands of rock-hard equine byproduct pyramids has rendered our horse field a truly sordid mess... and that was the funny idea for a post! Hahahha!!

Close up of multi-layered poops. Sometimes it seems the horses are "trying to help" by eliminating multiple times in one spot. I dunno; what occurs is shit insulation that makes the whole lump harder because ice forms and doesn't thaw underneath. I can't win! 

Here's Mount PoopMore. And see all the lumpy darker items in the background? Yes, more horse shit! That chestnut-colored item off to the upper left is one of the instigators of all this mess.

But my point is... the world is shit! I am so freaked out/disgusted/angry/scared/horrified at what putin has done in Ukraine! We are surrounded by shit, and the shit produced by other people! So it's not awful enough that we're (still) in a pandemic, have Climate Crisis to deal with, have half of our country's population getting weirder and scarier by the minute... and now we have to consider the distinct possibility of nuclear annihilation? No wonder I'm exhausted!

Although this was a pretty funny scene: I looked out our back door and wondered why Neko seemed so tall. On closer inspection it was because she had scaled Mount PoopMore- maybe to see what she could see? Who knows what goes on in the horsey mind?!!

And now putin has apparently put nuclear forces on alert?!?!?!?! Aughh! Will we live to experience Mardi Gras? (*2) Will I ever get my field cleaned up? Will it even matter?!?!?? (*3)

Picture of other suspect, Maggie. A million years old and still going (somewhat) strong. Included for no other reason than she produces 1/2 of all the equine excrement littering our fields and our lives. She shouldn't be left out!!

(*1) Typically, I keep a rigorously clean field and shovel the daily output of poop into glamorous piles which are then directed to our composting piles. Hygienic and productive!

(*2) Bob and I are going out to try and score a King Cake today. Maybe this will cheer me up!

(*3) Oh yeah: Fuck putin. I've gotten all existential...

Things To Take Our Minds Off The Next Several Days: Horse Reincarnation

There's me and Neko after successfully jumping that giant cross rail! All 12 inches of it! My riding instructor (hi Maiya!) tricked me into it. Neko was like, "Uh... no big deal" but to me it was a remarkable feat of daring-do! But it does prove that Neko and I are working well together. Goodness knows, something better work well in the next few days, as we prepare to transition from constant insanity into (hopefully) relative calm...

In any event, I have sneaking suspicions that Neko may be the reincarnation (*1) of my childhood horse Dolly. Poor Dolly was rescued- thanks to Daddy- from a starvation situation. Dolly regained her health, if not a gorgeous shape, as she always retained a distended belly due to near starvation. But she was a saint! She and I and Woofie the Dog spent so many wonderful hours riding the blue trails in our nearby woods and cantering gleefully across Grandma's field. Truly a heart-horse that I could trust to never put a foot wrong.

So when I met Neko, there was something that just clicked in me. She and Dolly were about the same size and the same color and have the same funny "blonding" down to her hooves- instead of socks:

And nice hard feet! (Poor Maggie never had good feet. (*2) Neko also has the same coloration on her muzzle: (And such a nice big, dark, deep eyes!)

But most curiously, Neko has a split in her right ear... as did Dolly!

And there's just something about Neko- although younger and more full of beans- that reminds me of Dolly; maybe her relative level-headedness? Neko rarely spooks but carefully looks at things. Neko makes me think of Dolly, had Dolly never been starved and abused. And while you're here, take a look at Neko's tail which is a brilliant mixture of all sorts of shades of blonde through deep brown:

Neko is proving to be quite a good girl. Sometimes, she plays "Miss Crabby Pants" and her ears snap back when I ask her to move out faster, but I think she does this for show. She settles right down and then puts on the Happy Face and her ears go forward and she seems pleased. We have a ways to go before we iron out all our differences, but I for one am enjoying myself thoroughly. Riding takes my mind off politics... that in itself is a healthy thing!!

 (*1) My sister Cathy mentioned the same thing about Neko reminding her of Dolly when she saw a photo on Facebook, so I'm not entirely imaging this.

 (*2) Here's Maggie (officially still Horse #1) to say "Hi", begging the age old question, "Why the long face??!!"

 

Thankful Rita (*1)

 

So I have successfully located Mommy's famous turkey head centerpiece again this year! Of course, I forgot to procure a pineapple, so this year it's installed on a log. The mini squashes are from our garden, and the brand new blue tablecloth is on its virgin voyage; thank you to Beatrice and John for Bob's birthday gift! It will be gravy and cranberry stained by day's end.

What am I thankful for this year?!??! Fuck 2020! It's almost (thankfully!!) over... hooray!

Let's see: I know I'm thankful for Bob; a heckuva guy. He fixed the barn roof recently, finishing up while recovering from an eye procedure- service above and beyond the call of duty. He (as we all know) is a great sculptor and a fun guy to have around. (He also doesn't lose it when I do things like buy a new horse. Gotta be grateful for that!)

I'm thankful every minute of every day for Robin the Good. A splendid friend and a wonderful dog. (She asks, "What's a "dog"?!?") My partner in gardening and studio time and pretty much everything else. My little shadow...

I think I'm grateful for having two horses. Sometimes they can be a pain in the ass like when they want to kill each other when food is involved... like all the time (so much for peaceful herd animals!) But in general, Maggie and Neko are entertaining and I can ride one of them. (Maggie is amused by my requiring Neko to do weird stuff; she watches us in the round pen and laughs.)

I'm thankful that I have a nice family, even if I didn't get to see them this Thanksgiving. Hello Cathy! Hello Beatrice! Hello John! Maybe next year? I promise to get a pineapple for the turkey head. (And John: I especially miss that cranberry sauce you make!! A tragedy to be without it!)

I'm grateful for all our wonderful friends. We may not be able to visit in person now that the weather is colder, but at least making contact on the phone is a good thing. It's good to know they're out there.

I'm so existentially glad that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris won the election that I cannot say anything else without stumbling all over myself and becoming redundant. Thank you to all 70+ million Americans who voted for them. Democracy lives!

I guess I'd also have to admit to being thankful that we haven't contracted COVID 19. So many people have died and I go back to my previous statement that 2020 pretty much sucked. 

Onward and upwards as we hurtle towards a new year!

(*1) I am making a sideways reference to the "Thankful Arnold House" in Haddam, Connecticut. Bob and I have never been but pass the sign occasionally and say to one another, "Wonder what that's all about? We'll have to go sometime." I used think that that was some guy's name- "Thankful Arnold" but after visiting their website, I found out Thankful was a woman's first name and Arnold was her last name. Here's the link; they have an exhaustive section about outhouses from those times. Exciting!

Thnakful Arnold House

 

Wild Kingdom

 

Because I never think to carry a camera with me at all times, I mostly succeed in missing all the really dramatic visitations that occur in our yard. Hence, Robin the Good's stuffed animal collection will offer stand-ins for the actual critters. (Above is "Snake", one of Robin's favorite toys. There are three (3!!) squeakers in this play thing which lends an almost stereophonic soundscape to her rough-housing.)

Coyotes have become a regular feature of life in the wilds of suburban Connecticut. Alarmingly, last week I opened the back door at 10:00 in the morning to hear what I thought was a siren. On closer listen, I realized- as did Robin who wanted back into the house- that it was a pack of coyotes. Out and hunting in broad daylight seemingly just one backyard away. Yikes! Probably hunting turkeys...

So we have turkeys; boy do we have turkeys! There's a flock, or a slew, or... what's the group name for turkeys? A throng? Dunno but we have what must be an extended family of them. Every day or two, they make a slow-motion appearance in the horse field. The horses don't seem perturbed, but Robin goes ballistic. They show up and dine on horse poop. They also are no doubt eating endless bugs and ticks so they are indeed welcome.

(Okay, that's "Bison". I thought it was a squirrel when I purchased it, but it does have horns and on closer examination, yes, it's definitely a buffalo). Anyway, the other day when I was playing with Neko in the round pen, She kept flexing her nostrils and holding her head really high, like she was smelling something. I trying peering across our stream to the area that was holding her interest. I saw motion in the bushes and thought maybe it was our resident fox but NO! It was a large and muscular bobcat. I was brandishing my (long) lunging whip anyway, so I ran to the lower end of the round pen and swung my whip around and ululated loudly. The bobcat- correctly- assumed it was being hunted by a human lunatic and took off towards the nature preserve which our property abuts. Good riddance!

(That's "Alien". Robin doesn't care one whit for Alien but I like him/her.) I saw something that not please me at all the other night. When taking Robin out for her late-night pee, I thought I detected a large dark form near our side fence, between the birch clump and the wood pile. Holy fucking crap! It was a deer! We have been blessedly free of these cloven hoofed vermin; all they do is chew things to pieces. It scrambled to safety as I bolted out of  the house, (again) ululating wildly. (I think there is a pattern developing here. If it keeps the wildlife in abeyance, I'll gladly keep exercising the weirder aspects of my sound-making capabilities!)

("Frog" who makes a peculiar crunching/clunking noise because you put an empty plastic container inside of it. Robin's had this toy forever and he's stood the test of time and constant dog chew.) We also have a neighbor's stanky Siamese cat that insists on putting in guest appearances. I just don't like this pest, particularly because it emerged from the hay section of our barn once and the area smelled like nasty cat piss for days. It's a grudge match since then, with me hollering like a banshee and giving chase (sometimes in the car... don't ask) when I see it. (Our next door neighbors on the other side of the driveway witnessed one of my finer performances involving this cat several years back. I believe I recounted that particularly embarrassing event in a previous blog.) 

(Your guess is as good as mine, here. Chipmunk? Squirrel? Corduroy hybrid? I had to replace the eyes as Robin pulled them off early in this toys debut at our house; that only added to it's elusive identity.) So what else? We do have a fox that stops by. And Bob has a special gaggle of crows that await his mouse offerings. I think they've missed him these past few days as he recuperates. The crows were massed by the driveway and vegetable garden- unusual location for them!- and seemed to be looking for Bob. Don't tell them, but we did catch a mouse and I'll be delivering it to them soon.

Our friends (Hi Sheldon! Hi Louise!) in Hamden have had a bear ramble up the driveway recently. No thank you! You can keep the bears! We have plenty enough wild life without bears!
 

 

And A Little More Anxiety Please!!

 

Don't be fooled: the photograph of our jack o' lantern is a distraction. I didn't think to document the following story as it was unfurling as it was too real-time awful and all-demanding of our attentions.

Never a dull minute around here! I trotted out "bright and early" (read actually pitch dark and fucking freezing) to feed the ponies. (*1) (You knew it had to involve them, right?) There's Neko, never one to be late for a meal, already waiting at the gate issuing, "I'm hungry!" and "Where have you been with my morning slops?!?!" whinnies. I'm wondering where Maggie is but figure she knows by now I feed her on the other side of the fence, away from our friend Neko (who bolts her food so as to scarf Maggie's down as well). I'm looking and looking and still no Maggie so I open the gate and start walking down the field when I spy a dark lump on the hillside. My first thought is, "Oh hell; Maggie has gone and died!" but when I called her name, her head came up and she nickered to me. 

Sure enough, just like last year (look it up on my blog) Maggie had once again cast herself on the hill. Her feet were uphill and she couldn't right herself. Additionally, poor Maggie is as old as that hill and probably not the strongest equine around. I went down to her and petted her head and made sure her blanket wasn't caught on her legs and preventing her from standing. Tough old thing that she is, she kept trying to stand. I even went and got her grain, thinking food being a super inducement, she might succeed in standing. It didn't work so I retreated to the house to inform Bob that, "Houston, we have a problem." I'm positive that Bob's love of horses is growing astronomically every day!

Did I mention that there was snow on the ground, it was 22 degrees and still only 7:00, pre-time change? And then I remembered that my riding instructor had always said to call the horse farm if anything like this happened. And I did just that, despite not having left on especially hospitable terms. (Don't ask: an unfortunate string of events this springtime). Anyway, I called and Jess answered and agreed to rouse her husband and come right over. Troopers these horse people!!

A darker, nighttime picture for a visual interlude.

Neko kept eating, Jess and Scott arrived, Bob located ropes, I thrust a thermometer into Maggie's posterior (such fun!) and when it was documented that she was still warm and alive, ropes were looped around her feet and hey presto! Maggie was flipped over and stood up in a single bound and trotted off up the hill just like that.

Horses! Gotta love them (or not). They do some pretty stupid things and it is documented that they can get hurt on almost anything- including a slight hill in their pasture. I thanked Scott and Jess profusely and later bought them a really nice bottle of champagne (which I know they appreciated. How else to reward their heroic call to duty?!) (Although Sabina my riding instructor informed me, drily, that they didn't come to help me; they came to help the horse! Hahahahaha! Who cares?!) 

Bob was mad at Neko who seemed blissfully oblivious to her pasture pals distress but I guess someone among us had to maintain calm. 

So I'm still a nervous wreck about Tuesday's election, somewhat sanguine about the outcome but expecting havoc. And everything inducing stress in the last blog posting still applies. Bob thinks I need an exorcism!

(*1) I also have to insert that I really hadn't slept the night before at all (full blue moon etc) and had said to Bob, "After I feed the horses, I'm going back to bed". Really!??!?!?!!?!?

 

Mercury (Always) Retrograde

 

What could be a better antidote to the current incarnation of Mercury Retrograde than two charming equine friends sharing lunch at BobnRita's All You Can Eat Buffet? Look at that near perfect imagining of the Peaceful Kingdom. And as Mercury has gone so spastically retrograde, I sought solace in the company of Horse Number1 and Horse Number 2.

I was truly having a lousy day, having received two (2!!) notifications that my unemployment claim had been hacked, my cell phone plan is almost up (and they're playing inconsistent pricing and the fucking cell phone won't let me pick up when the phone rings!!), and I missed several call from a doctor's office (I walked into the clothes line late at night and clocked myself in the eye...) and neither pair of pants I ordered fit. (Same size but one pair waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to big and the other waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too small!) I decided to play with Neko instead.

Here's Horse Number 1: Hello Maggie!

So I drag all my gear out to the pasture (saddle, helmet, bridle, grooming box etc etc) and approach Neko saying all manner of sweet nothings and pleasantries (such as, "What a good horsey!! Come here my pretty girl!") and she takes one look at me, throws the stink eye and ducks behind Maggie. I think, "Haha! Silly pony! You can't escape me! I'll just catch Maggie and you'll follow her!"

Hahaha! Silly Rita! Maggie caught the "I don't want to get caught either" bug and trotted up the hill with Neko trailing her. Then the fun really broke out as every time I approached the pack of two horses- now fully enjoying their game of catch-me-if-you-can, they took off at a brisk canter (Neko) and a wonky, wobbly lope (Maggie). And around and around we all went.

Needless to say, by this point I was sweating and furious, but still trying to hide it. I even carried a horse food pan around, hoping to trick one of them into being lured by the (empty) promise of grain.  But by the time they had sailed by me 90 times at 90 miles an hour, I was done. I responded by encouraging them in their game of Rawhide with much yelling and whooping and driving them forward. (*1)  I cracked my whip and hooted and hollered, terrifying poor Bob who later confessed he had heard the commotion and prudently stayed away. Robin joined in at the fence line, woofing and running and generally enjoying this display of pandemonium. I finally had had it. I left the field, feeling utterly defeated by Mercury and a pair of very naughty horses.

Here's Horse #2: Neko. The main culprit who got it all started: (And boy does she like to eat!!)

I went out to the field later to see how my criminal pair was doing- and if they'd ever let me near them again. Well, two very contrite ponies met me at the fence and came right up and allowed themselves to be caught and brushed and have their toes picked out, all the while staring at me with adoring, dewy eyes.(*2) I had to laugh.

And yesterday when I went to work with Neko she didn't give me trouble at all when I went to catch her. Stood like a charm and followed me around like a puppy. I trust that this is the sort of behavior I can expect in the future!! (*3)

(*1) Yes, I KNOW this was probably entirely the wrong thing to do, but I was playing off the old "keep their feet moving" theory of horse work. The lead or alpha horse pushes the other horse(s) around by driving them away from food etc and keeping them moving.

(*2) So I know I'm projecting; I don't really believe that horses feel remorse for naughty behavior, but it made me feel better.

(*3) Not likely!

Nu Horz

 

OMG! Suddenly- after much anticipation and delay- Candy/Candy/Nico/Neko*(1) is here! I feel like I'm hallucinating... She's so laid back, so zen, so chill; she got off loaded from the trailer and we put her in her pasture and she fell right to eating. Good girl!!

Meanwhile, "Horse Number One" aka Maggie is carefully sequestered on the other side of the fence*(2) and her eyes are bulging out of her head:

She's like, "Who's that and where did she come from?!??!!?!" Hopefully, they become fast friends and live happily ever after. I will be keeping them separated for about a week. If they seem accepting of each other that's great. If they don't... well tough! Life may be a bit more complicated for the near future but isn't that what makes life fun? Just wait until grain feeding time... then the excitement will really begin.

Anyway, I'm sort of surprised that Robin hasn't seemed to notice that we have a new horse or has decided that all horses look alike or something because (atypically) she is not barking. Glad some one else is low key; my head is still reeling that we*(3) now own two horses.

That's Maggie thinking things over. I trust she will like having pasture company in the form of another equine pal. She hasn't seen one of her own kind in a while. I have been letting her smell my hands and clothes when I come back from riding but this is an escalation. 

At least the arrival of Horse Number Two (they're now like those multiple wives of sultans) has kept me from obsessing over the endless parade of crazy news. NOT!! See *(4) below.

*(1) Although officially, her name is Neko... by popular demand.

*(2) I'm thinking of the old adage, "Good fences make good neighbors". Hahahhaha: Get it? "Good NEIGH-bors"?!

*(3) Thoughtfully including Bob in my insanity.

*(4) And speaking of insanity, how about the entire rethuglican party deciding to go all positive for the virus? Does that surprise anyone? No masks, no social distancing... what a bunch of losers!

(Probably) The Last Post of The Year!

Good riddance to 2019! Only a couple of days left and what have we got? Pink sky at morning! And I mean PINK! And now there does appear to be a weather advisory. (The funny thing is that recently several friends have posted images (un-photoshopped) of pink skies... wonder if it's a Climate Crisis occurrence?
Anyway, out with the old! What a miserable year. I can assure you one man in particular is responsible and I will not utter his name; suffice it to say, I hope he's swept out of office soon!
This year did have good to recommend it: Both Bob and I were in several great art shows, we both created a slew of new work, Bob (with the help of our good friend Joe) replaced the sink in the kitchen, we got our front door open, and we located a handsome beau for Robin the Good. And we are in (relatively) good health. Not too much to complain about on the home front.
And it looks like 2020 will begin on an upbeat note. I just found out that I was accepted in a show at The Ely House Center for Contemporary Art (in New Haven) and the curator, Sharon Butler is an interesting artist and art blogger (check out her blog Two Coats of Paint). the funny thing about this show is that it opens in like two weeks! Talk about starting the year off with a bang! (Don't worry: the work's already done.)
I also am plugging along on a new book project, "A Pot To Piss In: What's an Artist Urn?" and I do mean plugging along. I felt I had to reinvigorate my collage muscles after a long break. I wound up collating and finishing a batch of horse collages that I started years ago. The resulting "Rita Valley's Horsin' Around" is funny and charming. (Hey! This is a way better title than my original idea, "My Medium-Sized Horsies". That was (obviously) playing off "My Little Pony" but it was too lugubrious for even me, not to mention Roz Chast printed a some-what similar cartoon title in The New Yorker recently. Great minds think alike!)

That's the title page! Very exciting! I complied a dummy version and hope to get it printed and bound soon. Stay tuned!
And can we please all set our minds to work to make 2020 a more hopeful, compassionate year???

Things to be Thankful For

November seems to have slithered away from me and here we are, poised to celebrate Thanksgiving. I reflect that this is a good time to stop and appreciate all the many things we have to be thankful for.
How about cheerful autumn berries, adorning a lovely Ilex outside my studio? I am happy that even in the late fall, color abounds in nature. Hell, I'm thankful for the persistence of nature in the face of so much man-made destruction. Melting ice caps, rising sea levels, species being driven to extinction... I could go on and on. But I'm trying to be thankful so thanks Mother Earth!

I'm also thankful for the mammal denizens of nature that surround me and enrich my life. Thanks Robin the Good! Thanks for being a good friend and a generally cheerful all around help. I can't be upset or mad for too long when Robin gives me one of her sublime doe-eyed smiles and steals my gloves and socks and indulges in other canine silliness. What a swell doggo!

And thanks to Maggie the Mexican Pony for not being dead in the field last week. I got a good scare but she's up and around on four hooves and enjoying the last warm days of fall. And thanks to the horses that I ride for my lessons. They seem to have decided I'm okay and worthy of a whinny of recognition when I go to the barn and they haven't tossed me off into a manure pile when I ask them to do something- often incorrectly. Fine beasts!

Thanks for all our illustrious friends! Bob and I know some really entertaining characters (ahem! I understand that we fall well within that spectrum!) like Andy, seen above in festive array. They're all fine artists and swell company. I am truly thankful for friends as they redeem my faith in humanity when it is flagging. (And god knows, there is plenty of evidence as to the stupidity, cruelty and capriciousness of people these days...)
And family; I could have done worse in the family department. They aren't rethuglican reprobates who make me question my sanity or whether we really share the same blood and parentage. I actually look forward to seeing them tomorrow on Thanksgiving day and sharing observations on the impeachment hearings, along with consuming heroic portions of food. No need to avoid politics. Yay!

And I'm thankful for Bob and me (pictured here in warmer times). We're the right kind of nuts!

Cheatin' on Maggie

It's true! I have been cheating on Maggie with a horse named Missy, pictured above. Missy belongs to my friend Gloria who spends the winter in Florida. She was kind enough to ask me if I'd like to ride her horse for her while she whiles away her days on the beach, getting warm and sandy. (We're freezing here!)
I think Missy- seen below in her entirety- misses Gloria, but she's been a good ride for me so far. She seems to be pretty level headed and not spooky or flighty. And she really looks the part of what she is- a Quarter Horse. Very different from my poor Mexican Pony Maggie who is still out of commission because of reoccurring abscesses in her hind foot. Maggie is altogether smaller, both width wise and height wise.

 A comparison:

Maggie is a good hand (four inches) shorter and probably two hundred (or more!) pounds lighter. Even their heads are different: Missy has the wide forehead and big jaw of a Quarter Horse. Maggie has a much longer, narrower head, but your guess is as good as mine as to what Maggie is... maybe part Mustang? Maggie is/was a pretty comfortable horse and it's too bad she's been lame.
I have been fortunate to be riding with Sabina, the woman who actually owns the farm. She has been riding a horse named Hannah, that she bred and raised. Hannah's great; about two years ago, I did some lessons at this farm and Hannah was the horse I was partnered with. She's got a great attitude but a really big, roiling canter- much bouncier at the trot!- than Missy or Maggie. (We didn't ride this past week, though as it snowed and was something like 12 degrees).
And here's what Missy thinks of me; she leaves a big pile every time we ride.

I think I posted this particular subject to avoid what is really on my mind. The winter (which doesn't even begin until this Thursday!!!!!) is already taking it's toll on me. It's dark and cold and the days are short and contrary to whatever it's doing in Florida, it's snowy here. We had such a protracted fall that winter hit suddenly and I sure wans't ready for it! I'm also in avoidance about the holidays. I did make Xmas cookies (one of my two requirements for "celebrating" the season) and we are considering a tree. Maybe that'll get me going, and the fact that it's supposed to be in the forties on Wednesday when we ride... thank goodness for that!

Sundries with Care Givers

An odd hybrid! Like a centaur only not. Maggie's been eating the lawn and doing a lovely job of trimming around Bob's sculptures. And such sculptures! Bob calls them "Care Givers". But the other day, she had an accident or bad adventure. Something either scared her or she was trying to get away from the plague of little gnats that have been swarming around but the upshot was Bob found Maggie on the wrong side of the fence and she followed him back to the barn. She was a bit quiet all day but there wasn't even any broken skin or scratches. Lucky horse!

Here's her other side. Unfortunately, I am hesitant to put Maggie out on the lawn now... I'll make her a eating are contiguous to her pasture so that she can return to her stall if she feels like she's in danger.
I'm so behind! I have planting, planting, planting to do. Things we started from seeds, plants that have been given to me, plants that we've bought (remind me to list the several very cool shrubs and trees!) But today I have to work, despite it being Saturday so I'm feeling yet another day behind. Oh, to be able to emulate Maggie or Jules and stay home and fetch balls and graze! Or plant all those worthy seedlings.

(Cornus X "Celestial Shadow" (variegated dogwood- we have the perfect spot for it! Cryptomeria "Black Dragon" (yes, last winter killed the one we had but we liked it so much we're trying again!) and I finally found Potentilla "Primrose Beauty" to replace a cultivar called "Katherine Dykes" that I had to leave when we moved.) And all those seedling! Individual colors of delphinium! Anchusa! Anemones.... agrrghh!!

An Equine Update and Marketing My Mexican Pony

I suppose first I must update the alleged "wild animals" (bears, anyone? bobcats? cougars?) that were so distressing our poor Mistress Maggie and causing her to erupt into truly remarkable sound effects... with me following suit, naturally. By the next day, as she persisted in running the fence line and peering through the swamp, we realized she's most likely in heat and attempting to notify the horses next door. I am taking responsibility for the unwholesome possibility that I was likewise trumpeting MY willingness to entertain stallions in the vicinity... which is why Jules looked at me like I was crazy. Don't ask what I was saying in erotic filly speak!

But on another interesting equine topic, now that Maggie's winter fur has all but shed out, you can get a very good look at her brands. She came from somewhere out west, where they do actually brand livestock. (Don't get me started on the barbaric, sadistic practice of branding horses and cows in the first place. Yes, it's permanent and you can track your "property", but ouch!)
On her shoulder, she sports an "E" with what looks like a minus sign next to it. (Above)
On her hindquarters, same side, she has a double interlocking C.

Hey! I think I found out what that one stands for!

So maybe Maggie was either pegged as possible handbag material, or she's showing her fashion forward support of a popular name. Hahahaha.
I have another theory: if you take the "E" from her front end, and add another line to the minus sign and suppose that her hind end actually could be read as "C" to the second power, or squared... I just need to add one last thing to the equine equation:

I knew my horse was smart but she's wearing Einstein's Theory of Relativity emblazoned on her side! Maybe they simply ran out of branding irons before they finished. (God knows , I'm not subjecting her to more pain and suffering.)

A Long Way Down

Here's what it looks like if you're lucky enough (or crazy enough!) to get on a horse. Maggie is listening to me as I had to take the camera out of the case and change the settings and then take a picture. But she's very good! Really quiet and sane... not like certain other equines whose name we will not mention. Ahem.
And on that note, I had what no doubt would have been a major disaster had I not been riding a real good little horse like Maggie. As I mosey-ed up the driveway, our neighbor's enthusiastic LARGE chocolate Lab spotted me and Maggie and decided that we were too weird to pass up and he came bounding through the hole in the fence barking vociferously. A less experienced horse would (possibly) have freaked but Maggie stood her ground, not liking Chops the Dog's attentions particularly, but not (over) reacting. What a good girl; she earned her carrots!
I am making my way back to the position that riding is really fun. Crispin (Oops! Don't think I was naming names) was a tad spooky (I'm being polite). I got scared a few two many times by his spookiness and began anticipating... which does not make for relaxed riding.  After my eye injury, I was told by one of my surgeons that I'd be crazy to ever ride again but Hell! I can't go around avoiding things I love. It worked out in terms of a good reason to avoid the riding of a horse that shied at everything; that would have been just looking for trouble! So trading seems an inspired answer. I'm still waiting for a vet check (this Thursday) of Maggie to make sure everything's in the right place and working correctly. Until then, despite the chilly wet weather I'm having a really good time!
And yes, even on a small horse, the ground looks like a long way down!

Artist's Rendering

Here is an artist's rendering of our new horse, Maggie. I pointed to my beloved Bob that he probably never expected to have even one horse in his life time, and here he is, onto a second horse! And for someone who never thought to have dogs, Bob is well onto what? his fourth dog. (That doesn't count Archie who was my dog in college and beyond and accompanied us to Bridgewater. He died there, after a year at age 16 or 17!)
So Bob is becoming quite the animal expert; next thing, he'll be begging us to get a cat. Or chickens. Or that alpaca...
So until that vet check on the 12th of December, I'm happy with Maggie. I am trusting the vet does not turn up any really awful unanticipated surprises. I was told she was around 15, but I suspect she's a but older, which is okay. I did some research on the web and here's an interesting fact about determining a horse's age by their teeth. Of course, I've always heard that was a semi-reliable way to tell but I thought there was a bit of voodoo or something involved, in which horse whisperers and other sages were able to read teeth like tea leaves. But there is actually a formation called Galvyne's Groove that helps to give a somewhat accurate read. (Boy I love the Internet!) This groove appears on the side of a horse's teeth at about age ten. By 15, the groove is half way down the tooth. At about age 20, the groove is all the way down. After 20, the top line of the tooth is clear and the groove is only present in the lower half of the tooth. In very advanced old age, the groove disappears entirely. Now you can impress all your friend's with a morsel of horse knowledge. So I'm guess-timating that Maggie is about 17 or 18 by the length of her Galvyne's Groove. (She wasn't super cooperative about my looking in her mouth but I managed!)
Maggie is great fun to ride but she isn't the easiest horse to catch! She's smart and on to my tricks. If I get the saddle and bridle out, she walks very purposefully away, down into the field and will allow you to approach- but not too close. She has this figured out. So I tried a bucket (empty) a carrot extended. Boy did she stretch and reach for that carrot, but I couldn't get the lead rope over her neck. Finally, I pretended to lose interest and I got the wheelbarrow and started cleaning up the field. The she got all nosy; she never suspected that I had the halter in the wheelbarrow! And she's fine about tacking up after you get her, and even seems to enjoy the ride. I'm certain we'll come to an understanding.

Carrots and Sticks in the New Year

That's Crispin talking (straight) out of both sides of his mouth: "I will be a good horse", "I will be a bad horse". A fine way to begin the New Year!
As is typical of many a person, I begin the New Year utterly thankful that 2011 is done, over finito. And making lists... that's a traditional way to start off the new year. Here goes:
*I will eat more salad in the New Year.
*I will get more exercise. (How mundane can I be?!!???)
*I will be nicer to Republicans and Tea Baggers and Conservatives in the New Year. (Well, you have to  
  include a few things that you won't actually do, but they sound open-minded and possible!)
*I will spend more time making art this year. What with our moving (which seemed like it would never be
  completed) and my eye injury, I didn't get the studio time I needed and wanted. And I typically have such
  a good track record of studio application!
*I will try to worry less about money. I guess I could tie that to generating more money, but even worrying
  less would be a big step! And making more money is very problematic in this economy.
*I will prioritize even more effectively than I already do. (I think that sentence was guilty of some pretty 
  awful grammar but you get my drift.) I already spend plenty of time with my dog in the great out of doors, 
  but I'll spend more time... that good, well used time. I refuse to spend one second more than is absolutely
  essential on the phone arguing over bureaucratic details...
*I will cure cancer, eliminate prejudice and inequality, give everyone a raise, stop wars, pick up litter, feed
  the hungery and reverse global warming. And that's just the first week of January. (And so, we return to
  Janus, and that pesky habit of speaking out of both sides of the mouth).
That's it for now.

How Green Was My Pond Scum

This is a posting entirely dedicated to relief from all the grey of the chimney construction. That is not a swath of green lawn in the above photo. It's actually a pond in the field where my horse lives.That's the product of run off from concentrated horse byproducts... heavy on the nitrogen and urea! It looks solid enough to walk on.
I thought the perfection of those puffy billowing clouds in configuration with that eerie green looked almost artificial. I've wanted to photograph this pond for ages and kept forgetting my camera. I have never seen the water in this pond but I've witnessed ponies standing neck deep and the emerging coated with a brilliant green patina so I know there's liquid in there somewhere! Just hope my horse never gets the idea to go for a dip as he's white and would probably be eternally dyed green like one of those unfortunate easter chicks!
I still can't quite figure out what's going to happen with Crispin the horse...

Not Horsin' Around

Who knew it would be so hard to sell a horse? Not just any horse, but MY horse? Because of my eye, because of the kind of riding I'll be doing at our house (trail vs ring-riding) because of too many reasons to list, it is important that I sell Crispin. He's a good horse- a NICE horse (although we've had a checkered relationship...).
I decided a few months back that I'd list him on several equine sites, put up flyers at tack shops, stop by lesson barns... in short, do all the right things. But due to the economy or unpredictable weather events and who knows? perhaps unfavorable astrological omens, I haven't had any response to my attempts to recycle Crispin.
So today, I'll do what I do several times a week. Pack up my grooming supplies in the car and go visit the horse. This is inconvienient and makes me feel guilty as poor Crispin probably feels neglected and unloved. (Actually, he's hanging with his horse buddies and is very contented to eat all day and gives me a very pointed, "What are YOU doing here?" look when I climb over the fence into his pasture.) He has no idea.
I have only a couple of options, none of them perfect. I can give Crispin away, which seems crazy and counter productive. Apparently, many people are doing this as they cannot afford the upkeep but I just can't consider that seriously... would I ever get another horse? Would Crispin get a good home?
Or, we can find a way (in the midst of everything else we're trying to do) to put up a fence and secure some decent hay for the winter and bring him home. But I suspect that Crispin is very "herd bound" and wouldn't relish living alone. Some horses do just fine on their own, but not our boy! Additionally, as I need further eye surgery, Bob would be elected to do most barn chores for several months, in the middle of winter, with little direct benefit as he doesn't ride. (The manure is nice and there's plenty of it!) I suppose I can hope he suddenly develops "horse fever" and longs to gallop off into the sunset.
The last option is to eat him. As I haven't been able to ride for several months, I'm sure his muscle tone is slack and he's probably nice and tender. I've heard the French love horse meat so Bob could find some tasty recipes and we'd eat for free all winter. Even Jules would benefit! Our freezer is empty after Huricane Irene so this idea is gathering steam...