Thanksgiving Preparations

 

Well Mommy's famous (and quite fabulous!) turkey head is waiting for a pineapple. In the meantime, the handbag that Bob fashioned for me from a log will do nicely! I think my sister Cathy said she's providing the pineapple... (*1)

So here are a couple of helpful suggestions to make your holiday entertaining that much easier. First off, don't clean the house too early. Like I'm talking wait until the last minute if possible.

Case in point: this floor was clean... maybe yesterday? But we're heavy traffic: bringing in autumn leaves and general dirt on our boots type people so I learned the hard way to clean at the last minute or have to do it all over. Hell! I've got more important things to do with my time! (Like play outside and track in more dirt!) (*2)

And here's another tip: no matter what they tell you on the packaging or the Internet, your frozen turkey will still be frozen after many days of refrigerator thawing!

Here's Bob attempting to wrestle guts from our 13 pound friend. What do you do when you get one of those 20 pound behemoths?!?! Anyway, I'm certain that tragedy will be averted, the bird will thaw and a lovely golden brown turkey will grace the table tomorrow.  But now I have to go clean!!

(*1) I sorta forgot to buy one, along with dish soap. Yes, several trips to various stores and I forgot. I guess we'll have to dine on dirty platters and grubby, reused stemware! The horrors!

(*2) Similar to the time I bought and wrapped a birthday present for a friend. Several months passed before seeing this friend, in which time the wrapping paper was a crumpled, dirty mess and I had to re-wrap it. 

Barring Natural Disasters...

So many projects, so little time! I've wanted to re-paint the upstairs for over a year now but last spring's tornado put the kibosh on getting much of anything done besides activities involving giant heaps of wood and brush. This year I vow will be different!
So the twisted stalk above suggests the illusive color I am seeking for the walls- a greenish/bluish/bit of purple... is this possible? Maybe I'll have to paint veils of color over color? Maybe I'll have to lose my mind trying to capture that subtle shade? Maybe I'll just paint the damned walls white again! (But what shade of white?!??!?) Anyway, I can't do that until warm weather and the possibility of open windows return. Hurry Spring! (And minus the tornadoes, please!)

These samples have been hanging out for quite a while...
What else? Yes, the wall will be built- not THAT wall but the mosaic one behind our Blue Garden. (Getting Mexico to pay for it!! Hahahaha.) I have tons of plates and dishes, all waiting to be smashed and cemented, but this, too requires warm weather. is there anything I can do besides endlessly vacuum the carpet in the meantime? Of course I will confess (and no doubt waggish friends and family will confirm) that I don't spend undo amounts of time cleaning and fussing. Just as well, too! Who wants to be an artist whose tomb stone reads, "Didn't Get Anywhere With Her Art But Boy Was Her House Clean". Not me!
I will admit that a reduced work schedule and the cold weather have driven me further inwards, both physically and psychically and has been good for my "studio practice".  Robin the Good drags me outside to chase her and her beloved soccer ball around but it's cold and I feel like hibernating.
But when I return to the warmth of my studio, ideas flow and pieces are coming together. I am finishing "Only the Oligarchs" and preparing to add the crystals to the edge that will really make that piece sing. I am preparing to sew the backing on "Your Words Have Consequences"; not the most exciting phase but that piece will be complete soon. (Sometimes, art requires a bit of tedium. The sexiest part is mostly the conception.) And "The Stock market is Not the Economy" is finally coming together. i think I have the font right... not sure about the scale of the letters. Some tweaking in process! So I guess I'm busy despite being chilly and awaiting warmer days!

Spring Cleaning Unlikely Anytime Soon...

Well, I did start raking up the garden today as the sun was lovely and I felt compelled to spend the day outside. When was that last possible? Interestingly, we have heard peepers that last several nights and there are mini-rosettes of sedums emerging from under the leaves. Spring is here.
I have been (unfortunately) none too motivated to do the cleaning that is apparently needed within the house- not my favorite activity! Despite Bob drawing appealing faces on the scrub brushes (see photo above) and other tricks, I am resistant. The upstairs bathroom will soon be condemned and even with semi-frequent sweepings of the kitchen, dog hair "kittens" skiddle across the floor. But isn't house work a loosing battle anyway? No sooner do you finish than you have to begin all over again... so why start in the first place? You will remark that the above scrubber brush has some random filth dribbling down over it's face.

And speaking of sedums, here's a nifty blue one that is tender, but we overwintered in the house. It's stretching a bit as it's probably not as happy as it would be if it were outside in it's native habitat, but it will look good in a few weeks. And plants, of course, grow in dirt so dirt can't be all bad...
I look forward to spending a small fortune on plants this spring as we're on a garden tour. (Don't worry Bob; I said a "small" (very) fortune.) I may not buy shoes, or lust after leather sofas, large screen tv's or things like actual furniture, but boy! we all know I never met a garden center I didn't like.
My wish list has already begun, without my setting a single foot in a nursery: a variegated yucca (had one in Bridgewater, but lost it!), another plum tree (to cross pollinate with the one we almost killed), a witch hazel, a clethra... You get the idea: the list goes on and on. Hey! My birthday is coming!

It's Not Easy Being Clean

Gee, I do get to air our worst moments on this blog, don't I? I have no shame!
If you remember my previous blog, I was opining about the state of our house and how it was singing out for a good cleaning. An unfortunate chain of events forced me to have to wash the bathroom floor. And no, that picture above isn't BEFORE; this picture was taken AFTER I washed the bathroom floor... But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I went out this miserable cold, windy, icy morning to feed and water our beloved mare Maggie. With her looking on, I raked out and re-bedded the barn. In all this winter awfulness, she's taken to pissing mightily in her stall. It smells like an accident at the ammonia factory and there are plenty of forkfuls of piss soaked bedding to contend with. (I am seriously considering getting a hundred or so of those little trees that people dangle from their car mirrors and festooning her stall!) I am piling this debris sky-high onto an
emergency manure pile. In all the ice and snow, it has been nigh on impossible to transport the manure offerings to the official pile, so by the gate it resides. It really is hard to be as tidy as we usually are- our horse pasture typically looks pretty spic-and-span. Now it looks like one of those farms condemned for
unsanitary conditions.
So I went back in the house to prepare for my morning walk with Jules. Instead of shedding my boots and carrying them to the other door, I left them on. And then I went upstairs. It hadn't occurred to me that my boots would thaw out and all this lovely horse piss scented snow would dribble behind me, up the stairs and pool in an odoriferous brown slurry beneath my hooves at the bathroom sink. Until I was brushing my teeth and this really bad smell hits me and I realize that it's me.

(Where else on the Internet are you going to see piles of horse shit?)
Anyway, while on my walk, Bob cleaned up the stairs and I when I got back, I vacuumed and then Pine Sol-led the floor. And it gleamed and I felt very righteous. So happy was I that I thought as a finishing touch I would empty the waste basket and all would be fresh and nice. Instead, the above accident occurred and the garbage bag didn't open all the way and all those nasty Q-tips and kleenexes and used dental floss strands stuck together with bits of yesterday's spinach came spilling forth. What is the story of no good deed going unpunished? More shit!