This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

There's been so many things going on lately and our computer has been so messed up that I haven't written a blog posting in ages, despite there being so very many things to report on. Therefore, I promise to compose- in rapid fire fashion- at least three updating posts. I am certain that everyone is on the edge of their seats in anticipation.
First, allow me to state that the photos are illustrations depicting just how weird life with a puppy can be. I don't really notice anymore that our furniture has taken a decidedly odd turn, but to others who visit, our living room must look very strange indeed. Upturned tables and chairs decorate the seating areas of several chairs to discourage Lil' Robin from sitting on or chewing off cushions.

You get the idea. It has probably crossed Bob's mind that we live "differently" than many of our friends (that's their problem!) but to my mind it's simply a stage we're going through. And who wants a living room that looks like everyone elses? House and Garden hasn't threatened to pay a call any time soon...
This posting is driving circuitously to the subject of Robin the Good and I successfully completing our "Family Manners" Dog Class. (Fans have been clamoring for updates!) I think this was a positive experience for both of us: Robin seems to have benefited from her canine and human interactions and I got to see her blossom. (that is, when she wasn't curled up in a pathetic heap on my feet wishing she were anywhere else.) I also got to accidentally offend several people, including the grumpy woman to whom I exclaimed, "My, that's the biggest Husky I have ever seen!" To which she snarled, "It's not a Husky!" Hey! I got asked if Robin was a Flat Coated Retriever, and I didn't bite their heads off! There were several entertaining (or embarrassing) moments as when the instructor held our dog's leashes- one at a time- and we went to the far end of the space and called our puppies. They're supposed to gallop off to their beloved master/mistress without hesitation. Robin went first and ca-roomed back to me so fast; I think I expected all the other dogs to follow suit. But the little Beagle Ulysses wandered off in the opposite direction as his hapless owner called frantically. The giant (ahem) Not Husky sat and barked at the instructor instead of coming to his crabby mistress and the decidedly challenged (or deranged depending on your viewpoint) gargantuan overbred Labrador Sassy just sat there. The instructor gently prodded this oaf with a sneakered foot but with no result. One test successfully completed!

(The dark blob to the left of center is Robin, surrounded by her bizarre collection of "toys".) I will allow that Robin was great at the coming-when-called episode, but proved less convinced by some of the training operations recommended- like touching her nose with a dog treat, then touching MY nose with the treat and saying "Watch!" to get their attention. I'm not sure what Robin thought, but I am imagining it's along the lines of, "Oh no! Rita really has lost her mind this time!" Robin was much better at practicing at home and found class sort of stressful; many distractions and loads of noise! (Including that a "correction" used on our puppies was a sound that then instructor called "EEEENNNT!!" This was described as "the sound of the buzzer on a game show when an incorrect answer was given". We therefore spent many fine minutes waltzing around the room with a constant barrage of high and low pitched "EEENNNTTTSS". To a person outside the door, it probably sounded like some sort of faulty machine turning on and off. Robin did learn how to growl, which I viewed as a major accomplishent. One of the jumbo-tron dogs thrust their giant, drooly snouts up Robin's butt and she responded with a delightful throaty, "RRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrr".)
 I also hazard an opinion that the instructor wasn't keen on Robin as she was the only mixed breed dog in the class. I know that many people are pure-breed snobs and think any dog not acknowledged by the American Kennel Club is worthless. The instructor was nice enough but he couldn't seem to remember Robin's name and he seemed to hurry over us when doing exercises. I do know that two of the dogs in class were also pursuing private lessons with the instructor, so perhaps there was the added monetary element. A lot of good it did, as those two dogs were the worst in the class.
The class also deepened my appreciation for my beloved mixed breed pooches as Robin was among the better behaved students (not firing off non-stop howls or barking at the top of her lungs or dragging me across the room like some dogs that will remain nameless!) Some of these pure bred dogs are like awful hyperactive children: zero attention span and idiotically spastic outbursts.

There she is... our little scholar. All tuckered out! But smarter! And better behaved! And good! (Don't you love that carpet? No worry of spills and leakage here!)