My Brush With The Po-Leece

Here's my partner in crime! Trusty and I were heading home from an exciting visit to Tractor Supply where we had invested in several bags of special Equine Senior Horse Chow (formulated for those elders with few teeth and in need of a bit more fat- Maggie's department). We were tooling along, well within the speed limit and minding our driving p's and q's. We had passed under the highway underpass- a mere mile or so from home- when I espied a police car directly behind me. "Well", I thought, I'll just make sure I continue forward in an orderly and innocuous manner and thank dog we're almost home!"

But no sooner than I had made an impeccable right hand turn onto our lovely road, then the bells and whistles erupt on said police car. I've been pulled over... I hurriedly pull on my mask and rolled my window down, attempting a pleasant and vacuous smile behind my mask. "Yes Officer?" I inquire politely. The woman officer (who looks to be about fifteen years old) responds, "I bet your wondering why you've been pulled over. Your registration has expired." I demure, "But that is simply impossible! I've passed emissions just this past spring and I know I renewed my registration!!" Meanwhile, I fumble in the glove compartment, out of which is spilling insurance cards and salt and peppers from take out food and kleenex... and the envelope with my registration. I triumphantly pull it out and realize she's right (of course!) and my car's registration has expired not just in December of 2021 but December of 2020... how is this possible!!?!??!?!!? Now I feel like a crazy person.

"It must be COVID time!" I exclaim. "We haven't been driving much and gee, the paper work must have gotten lost!" She was kind enough to reply, "It happens" and let me off with a warning and a quite jolly, "I know you're going to go home and re-register your car right now!" Which I most certainly did.

And found out that Bob's truck hadn't been registered since 2019!! Hahhahhahaha!! Whoops! And how did we not get in trouble from that? We've driven to New York- where if you recall, we broke down and were towed and a policeman gave us a ride. HE could have ticketed us if he'd run our plates! We've also transported Bob's sculpture to Vermont on several occasions and never got flagged for expired registration. I guess we've been very lucky. 

Don't worry: we're all 100% legal now. It was a relative bargain, too. Only a $10 late fee (and the weird other fees they tack on like something called a park use fee...) and the original cost and we're good.

And here's a preview of fun to come! Bomb Cyclone a'comin! Get out those snow shovels and blowers! Batten the hatches and stock up on milk and toilet paper... and bread!!
 

Color COVID

At what point do I get to wake up somewhere other than Vladimir Putin's America? Here it is- May 9th- and I'm swaddled in my winter clothing, picking through the woodpile searching for a few sticks to burn? It's actually flurrying with the sun out and we're all still quarantined from COVID 19 and WTF!! When I walked back from the mailbox, it was near white-out conditions...
I have begun the lovely task of assembling annuals, perennials and shrubs and vegetable plants to populate our many gardens and beds but I had to hustle them all back into my studio so they didn't freeze to death last night. And what of the hummingbirds?!  There have been a bunch of them- right on schedule!- flying around and landing on our feeder; I may have to install a nectar heater! But where do they spend the night?

This isn't half of them! The seedlings and tender things are all over our dining table and every available window sill. (We have temporary shelving on several windows...) Even today, the wind is so strong and sharp that they're all hunkered down inside.
So I had an exciting adventure yesterday morning. I called our local hardware/feed store and ordered and pre-paid for the horse food I need so that I wouldn't have to enter the building. As is typical protocol now, they said they'd leave the two bags on the rear loading dock. I drove our trusty car (running like a top!) to the back of the store, put it in reverse and hoped for the best. I say this because the driveway leading up to the loading dock is seriously narrow and surrounded on both sides high concrete walls and a chain link fence too boot. Add to the already trying circumstances is that I have my sunglasses and face mask on so that the mask was causing the sunglasses to fog slightly. I carefully calibrated that the right passenger side of the car was the trickier side to gauge my proximity to the imposing wall and backed up... BAM!!! Oh, I hit something!!
I pulled my car forward, exited and went to survey the damage. Trusty the Car looked fine but when I turned around, I realized that I had hit the corner post and it had caused the chain link fence to bow out. Yikes!

See? Nothing! Bernie didn't even get scratched! (I had feared having smashed a taillight or dented the fender area.)
Needless to say, I was mortified and knew I had to do the right thing. So I gloved up- already in my mask- and entered the store, which of course, was packed with customers and there were no sales people free. I exited and instead confessed by cell phone what I had done. I also walked to the back of the store and found three (3!!) male employees on the loading dock (all wearing masks) shaking their heads and... LAUGHING! Like "hahahaha; dumb blonde!!" In this case, I really didn't care as I confided just how stupid I felt and offered insurance information if they needed to press charges or put in a claim. But they were great and made plans among themselves to straighten it out. (In truth, it wasn't that bad!) They actually asked if I had gotten my two bags of beet pulp okay (yes, but need I remind you, these weigh 50 pounds apiece!) and told me to "have a nice day". I told Bob that the next time he went to our hardware store, he should view my signature "Damage by Rita" installation. I may avoid the store myself for a while as I'm certain they'll all be giggling at me when I come in...