Losing your Mind While Gardening

 

Don't say I haven't been trying! It's Spring, the birds are singing, the sun is shining... and we've had nothing but incredibly strong, gusting wind for three straight days. If you dare to step outside, the wind knocks your hat off, takes your breadth away and destroys any impetus to do whatever it was that you went out to do.

 Like rake leaves? Ha! Three times I piled the leaves on my tarp and three times a bloody blast from Hell swept them up and sent them spilling all over the lawn. Reminds me of the stories of the Mistrals of France, where violent winds drive people crazy. I have an entire arms-length list of projects that are entirely on hold.

 And then the lawn men descended next door. These human locusts propel themselves back and forth over our neighbor's lawn creating a deafening roar. Only problem is that the lawn hasn't even begun to grow and what with that aforementioned wind there are clouds of dirt and dust. It now looks like a scene from The Grapes of Wrath out there.

 And to add the proverbial icing to the metaphorical cake, the air has been heavily scented with diesel fumes as one of the neighbor's kids is now driving an ancient diesel powered truck. He conscientiously allows it to warm up for fifteen or twenty minutes before driving off in a plume of acrid smoke. Typically, this coincides with my feeding my poor horses who are by now suffering from black lung, covered in dust and losing their minds due to that wind.

I'm staying inside until next month. Bye!!! (*1)

(*1) Yes! The tulips were all brought inside; they're supposed to be for Bob's birthday, but they were a bit early. Now they're exploding and shattering all over the house. We have multiple vases of them.

Pleasant Pictures Amidst Turmoil and Despair

 

I'm not even being facetious about my blog title this time around. This blog posting is going to be a visual interlude; a swan song to summer and an appreciation of flowers on this chilly, rainy October day. Above, brilliant sky blue plumbago, blooming it's proverbial pants off on our kitchen table. Such an amazing color! It's almost enough to make us forget that the consequential presidential election is a mere 22 days. Yikes!!!!!! Wait, wasn't this post supposed to be soothing pictures of flowers?

And look at the fiery vibrancy of our good friend Roberts's "Caliente" dahlias? Coupled with lime green coleus (I believe that's "Wasabi") and the equally lemon/lime leaves and red seed pods of "Jewels of Opar (Talinum) it's a pop of much needed color in the house as summer fades. And alas! Most of our dahlias have already died in an early frost; Roberta's garden is only 15 minutes south but much warmer. The heat of these beautiful blooms almost eliminates the chill I'm feeling when contemplating the possibility of four more years of The Orange Menace, steering us towards death, destruction, mayhem and NO!!!!!

Here's a small and innocent group of the last marigolds from the cut flower garden. I like to offer up a small arrangement to the residents of my dragon shrine. Maybe they bring us good luck? I sure hope so because we sure as fuck need good luck! Over 212,000 people dead of COVID 19 and no end in sight of isolation and social distancing and mask wearing and STOP!!!!

Okay, okay: I promise to end on a note of simple, glorious eruption of color. Asters! One of my absolute favorite type of flower. They're so late and yet sport pinks and purples and powdery lavender blue that I might more readily associate with spring. They're tall and wild and smell like hay fields and they billow in explosions of end of season exuberance. Just as I give up on the garden and  dread the approach of winter and try to think of next year's garden... Ta Da!! the asters explode and prolong what remains of this season. See? I kept my word and ended in a better frame of mind... Just keep thinking "flowers".

Color COVID

At what point do I get to wake up somewhere other than Vladimir Putin's America? Here it is- May 9th- and I'm swaddled in my winter clothing, picking through the woodpile searching for a few sticks to burn? It's actually flurrying with the sun out and we're all still quarantined from COVID 19 and WTF!! When I walked back from the mailbox, it was near white-out conditions...
I have begun the lovely task of assembling annuals, perennials and shrubs and vegetable plants to populate our many gardens and beds but I had to hustle them all back into my studio so they didn't freeze to death last night. And what of the hummingbirds?!  There have been a bunch of them- right on schedule!- flying around and landing on our feeder; I may have to install a nectar heater! But where do they spend the night?

This isn't half of them! The seedlings and tender things are all over our dining table and every available window sill. (We have temporary shelving on several windows...) Even today, the wind is so strong and sharp that they're all hunkered down inside.
So I had an exciting adventure yesterday morning. I called our local hardware/feed store and ordered and pre-paid for the horse food I need so that I wouldn't have to enter the building. As is typical protocol now, they said they'd leave the two bags on the rear loading dock. I drove our trusty car (running like a top!) to the back of the store, put it in reverse and hoped for the best. I say this because the driveway leading up to the loading dock is seriously narrow and surrounded on both sides high concrete walls and a chain link fence too boot. Add to the already trying circumstances is that I have my sunglasses and face mask on so that the mask was causing the sunglasses to fog slightly. I carefully calibrated that the right passenger side of the car was the trickier side to gauge my proximity to the imposing wall and backed up... BAM!!! Oh, I hit something!!
I pulled my car forward, exited and went to survey the damage. Trusty the Car looked fine but when I turned around, I realized that I had hit the corner post and it had caused the chain link fence to bow out. Yikes!

See? Nothing! Bernie didn't even get scratched! (I had feared having smashed a taillight or dented the fender area.)
Needless to say, I was mortified and knew I had to do the right thing. So I gloved up- already in my mask- and entered the store, which of course, was packed with customers and there were no sales people free. I exited and instead confessed by cell phone what I had done. I also walked to the back of the store and found three (3!!) male employees on the loading dock (all wearing masks) shaking their heads and... LAUGHING! Like "hahahaha; dumb blonde!!" In this case, I really didn't care as I confided just how stupid I felt and offered insurance information if they needed to press charges or put in a claim. But they were great and made plans among themselves to straighten it out. (In truth, it wasn't that bad!) They actually asked if I had gotten my two bags of beet pulp okay (yes, but need I remind you, these weigh 50 pounds apiece!) and told me to "have a nice day". I told Bob that the next time he went to our hardware store, he should view my signature "Damage by Rita" installation. I may avoid the store myself for a while as I'm certain they'll all be giggling at me when I come in...

Off To A Party

Okay! Okay! I promise to not rant about politics for this blog post. (But it was a good week! Manafort... guilty! Cohen... confessing! McGahan... squealing! Others close to The Orange Menace... freakin' flipping! Yay team!!) So instead of political spewings, I'm posting an innocuous picture of the (almost) finished hole in the wall.
Yes, it needs a bit more sanding and another coat of paint but I've already got my Foo dog happily smelling the posies. See how useful and attractive a hole in the wall can be?!?? It's amazing how a detail like this can fix up the entire space. Bob and I shoved our bureaus around a bit and the room looks bigger and more commodious. More room to put stuff!
The weather has decided to become more pleasant and allow for otherwise impossible activities like mowing the lawn and weeding. Let's face it, it's been miserably hot and humid. When I tried to work in my studio, I wound up with  minute collage bits and fabric scraps stuck to my sweaty arms. I'll have to take a picture of the gigantic hornets nest that has been constructed just outside one of my studio windows. Bob pointed out that that window was open and I might be entertaining "visitors" soon. So far the wasps or hornets haven't bothered me but I've shut that window and am steering clear of that corner when outside!

And in place of our dear friend Tilda Swinton, we now have a birthday balloon living in the bathroom downstairs. It does look quite festive in there, with the Xmas lights, miniature cocktail umbrellas and the smiley balloon... which reminds me: we're off to a party right now!

See You in Hell!

Flaming day lilies to accompany the incredibly hot weather we endured this week! The flowers didn't seem to mind; possibly because I ran around watering and checking up on everyone. How hot was it? Do I have to remind you? The heat index- a new-ish gauge of climate changes real life effect on us all- was over 100 all week. Everyday was a 3 tee shirt day.

The containers look really good (if I do say so myself...) despite needing waterings several times a day. The lawn is a tad crispy in spots but can also be attributed to the massive amounts of trees/logs/sawdust that continues to occupy our time and energy.
And piles? Anyone want to see our piles? It's been so hot that there was a recess taken from all that dragging and stacking and piling...

Bob and I have taken turns hauling this pile from one area to another. We have lacked the energy or impetus to remove it entirely and take it out to the woods.

You see what we're up against! More piles; they will be with us for a long time. No wonder we're getting out of town for the weekend. Actually, it has more to do with Bob having a sculpture to install in North Bennington (VT) at an outdoor sculpture show. Here's a link:
www.nbossvt.org
We had fun last year and it will be good to get away. A friend (thanks Joe!) is staying with Lil' Robin the Good. I think she knows something is up and she is not impressed!

* The title of this blog was originally going to refer to both the protracted heat wave and the resignation of the evil Scott Pruitt as head of the EPA. (Don't make me gag!) But as I stated writing this entry, I realized I wanted to spend as little time as possible discussing evil motherfuckers like Scott Pruitt. Suffice it to say, there is a particularly hot 'n' steamy ring of Hell for him to occupy and there won't be any second hand mattresses or special moisturizers to make his stay in hell easier!

Spring Break!

Bob and I took a short but well deserved trip to the New York Botanical Garden today. We went to deliver more of Bob's fabulous metal work to the garden shop there, but they give us passes so we spend the day wandering around in a state of horticultural bliss. The weather cooperated handsomely and we got thoroughly oxygenated and made new friends. That's me with a new friend in the picture above. I have always had a soft spot for those tall narrow conifers...

Another fine fellow with a curious question mark of a top.

Look at that one! Bob spotted this charmer off in the distance. You have to laugh at some of these specimens. Here's another one:

Sort of a scrappy fellow! But it's surrounded- and honestly upstaged- by the lovely daffodils blooming behind it. There are daffodils everywhere. And entire hillside blanketed by what must really be a million blooming all at once. It smells intoxicating, too.

Here's a variety I particularly liked. It's apparently a very old type called "Seagull" (I guess you could have just read the tag...) that I'll be looking to add to my lilac/daffodil collection this fall. I did develop a real hankering for those white narcissus...
And look at this:

There are these amazing, magnificent blooming cherry trees all over the Botanical Garden. Huge old specimens with gnarly trunks and weeping over rocks; it's quite breath taking.
We had a fun and relaxing day and managed to get only minorly lost on our way home.

What's That Smell Like Meat, Oh Baby?

Scent is a very personal matter. What smells just great to one individual can be less than appealing to another. This is most often proven while standing behind an overly cologne saturated individual in a supermarket checkout line (or any instance where escape is impossible). I feel the urge to gag, but you know the wearer of the offending scent is sure they're attracting all the bees.

I bring this up because the flower here illustrated is a good case in point. I was taking Robin out the other evening, and I was assailed by the odor of rotting meat... a sweet, cloying definitely meat-like smell. I suspected a dead mouse in the wall until I realized I was smelling the Brugmansia!

Once I identified the smell as emanating from the flower, it was reassigned to the section of my brain that registers "things that are supposed to smell good", and I guess it does if you like decaying meat. The better to attract pollinators like bats and flies! (It's a smell reminiscent of jasmine, which I'm also not drawn to; I prefer clean, "high note" florals like phlox. I love the smell of phlox!: like clean laundry and sunshine).
This particular flower is trying hard to establish itself in my good graces. It was a generous gift from our good friend John Trainor- even though I warned him that I have no luck with Daturas and Brugmansias. And true to form, this plant struggled all season, not growing much in the direction of verticality and seeming to strain to produce a few new leaves. (And as soon as a new one appeared, an older one fell off; sort of a zero sum leaf gain). By the end of the summer, it was (embarrassingly) barely larger than it had been when presented to me and I decided to compost it. But on it's way to the compost pile, it revealed that it was producing a flower bud.

So I brought it inside and it bloomed! And then it produced a second out-size bloom, as documented here. It's obviously enjoyed the move indoors and as it's December and there's nothing else blooming, it's gotten a reprieve. And it does emit that weird smell...

Sleepless and Pensive in Suburbia

Does not being able to sleep have its merits? I guess I'm trying to find a few... Like I am finally getting around to posting this blog. But it is 2:00 am and I'd really rather be sleeping. (Thanks to our friend Louise! She shared that she had been unable to sleep last night; although tonight is the full moon (obscured by clouds and rain).
Suddenly I find us hurtling towards the end of summer... no!!! Let's face it: it's the second week of August, my "vacation" starts next week and our garden tour is only a short two weeks off. I put vacation in quotes as we're not going anywhere and we will no doubt be consumed with last minute details in preparing our vast estate for touring by the adoring public. With every passing day, I admire the passing of yet another flower and wonder- yet again!- what will be in bloom for that tour. It's a good thing that we're surrounded by flowering weeds and large outdoor sculpture. These will provide a distraction from the rapidly imploding garden borders. It's the time of year when sheer horticultural entropy ensues and ample rain assists in making all available plants cascade and tumble into one another. It's a riotous jungle and a big mess and I secretly like this chaos. There's nothing you can do about it!
This summer I have found throwing myself full tilt into gardening has certainly helped me deal with Mommy's passing. Digging in the dirt is such a healthy occupation for me, despite contracting Lyme Disease and poison ivy seemingly every time I set foot out the door. It's a cliche, but working with Nature puts the whole cycle of life thing into perspective. Things live and then die and there's not much that you can do about that, either, except do all you can to help sustain and nurture them. Gardening is also really good for taking your mind off one thing and forcing you to concentrate on all the bloody rocks that keep burping up from underground...
I have been in plant acquisition mode this year. Not only did I order up and plant a slew of asters, but I discovered lilacs (!) and ferns (!) and we need more trees... I think this is how gardening escalates. There is always another kind of plant and another type of garden to plan. If it wasn't 2:30 am I'd probably be outside, digging.

How About Some Pretty Flowers?

Lovely, isn't it? A different variety of morning glory than we usually grow. This one is a picotee... I think some sort of Japanese hybrid. The weird thing is that only one vine looks like this and is blooming. The other two vines in the same container- ostensibly the same plant- have significantly different leaves and no flowers yet. Sometimes they get mixed up at the seed factory! Here's a shot of the whole container:

This vine is particularly floriferous, too! Everyday sends up a bunch of new blooms.

(Not a flower arrangement but a pretty pink drink. Bob put a couple of drops of Campari in our gin and tonic and a sprig of mint. It tasted delicious and was a perfect accompaniment to an end of day garden perusal)
So despite an erratic (read non appreciable) rain fall and consistently high temperatures (thank you, Climate Change!) some things have done super well in the garden. Most of the vines are sky high (except the honeysuckle: that is a mess): Cardinal Climber (Ipomoea x multifida),

Hyacinth Bean (Dolicos Lab Lab) and several varieties of Morning Glory- including that old trooper "Grand Pa Ott, (thanks to our good friend Roberta!). Also, Thunbergia (Black Eyed Susan Vine) is going great guns this summer.

But look at this amazing succulent. I bought it for the foliage but it started to bloom and it's spectacular!

A stunner! I never dreamed we'd get flowers that look like something from another planet or some undersea world. Let's face it: after all the insanity and evilness afloat in the world, isn't it nice to see pretty flowers?

(Gratuitous shot of the same succulent on the mosaic walkway just because.)

Bob Appreciation Post #2

Bob's been busy! Look what he did to the far corner of his studio... added a new window. It makes the whole space not only brighter, but look so much bigger. This was a dark and lonely-looking corner; sort of remote and Bob stored things he didn't need too often there. But now, it feels so much usable. And he has a nice view of our back swamp. Bob also relates that he has a resident chipmunk that lives beneath the window. Free entertainment!

And the grapes have been lovingly tended to. Bob saw a video that recommended placing sandwich bags over the newly forming clusters of grapes to protect them from birds and the weather. This particular vine- a white Niagara- is making something like 17 clusters! We'll have quite a harvest. People who have used this method of grape protection have mentioned that the ripen more sweetly.

And here's a shot of one corner of the vegetable kingdom. Bob has (as usual) done a bang-up job of planting, thinning, transplanting and housing the seedlings in the vegetable garden. And we're already reaping the rewards in the form of delicious tender salads.
I'm kind of behind in the garden world. I'm still planting and trying to figure out what to put into several holes that have appeared. Not to mention that I have weeds and haven't edged yet. Bb tolerates my presence in the vegetable garden where I have an unruly cut flower area... I try!

Not Going Any Where- Fast or Otherwise

How's that for a metaphor for our lives at present? A snowed in door! And the drift of snow is not the only impediment! That icicle to the left is ominous. I'm not going to further regale my audience with further woes of winter's tales... except that I'm scheduled to participate in an artist's talk on Sunday at Odetta Gallery in Brooklyn and it's supposed to be like 4 degrees with 70 mile an hour winds and maybe (aaaarrrrggggh!) more snow!!
But we'll take one day at a time... be all Zen. Maybe the gods will smile and will send us blue skies and happier trails. We can only hope!
But Bob, thinking ahead as tomorrow is supposed to bring us more.... flowers! Saturday is bringing us flowers! Saturday is Valentine's Day, after all.

Look at that lovely bouquet! I'm so happy! Beautiful, colorful, amazing flowers. Temporarily, my winter dreads have been driven away. For the next 24  hours, I promise to not innumerate the various and many things that my gloves stuck to this morning while delivering Maggie her morning water: the gate, the barn door, the stall bucket handle, the outside bucket (pulling the glove right off my hand), the outside door handle- and on and on. I literally froze to everything. But banish that thought. Tonight through tomorrow, I promise to vacation in my mind. But come Sunday, I'll be crazy mad if the weather doesn't cooperate. How long can this last?!?!?!

New Computer...

And it's about time! I bet all the philistines among you thought I had simply abandoned blogging as so many before me. But no! I am not that easy to get rid of. Almost a month ago now, our computer gave up the ghost. Bob went to turn it on and was greeted by a stony faced black screen. The timing was, of course, the absolute worst in history. I was just finishing installing my work "Better Guns and Gardens" at Artspace and there were images to send and artists statements to email for that show and my upcoming inclusion at Odetta Gallery. I was frantically uploading and sending off requested info from friend's computers during dinner parties and from work. A nightmare!(I am not even going to hint at how much unbacked up stuff we have sealed in that hard drive; we are going to have to pay for date transfer...) The good news is that we have a delightful new computer that has oodles of giga everything and we don't even seem to be upset with Windows 8. Yes, there are swirly, squirrely screens that flicker past at light speed and all manner of needless shopping apps but it's not THAT bad! I was worried.
And above, testimony to all the hard work I've been doing in preparation for that NEXT show at Odetta Gallery in Brooklyn. The studio is warm, wonderful and workable thanks to:

Remember "Yodel"? Yes, Yodel the Woodstove is now installed, thanks to Bob and our good friend Joe. They Saws-alled a hole in the studio roof and put in the new pipe. It works great and just in time; as I was finishing my book project, the weather started to get cold and I had begun to work in the living room (old studio) for a time. The studio heats up in no time and I couldn't be happier- or toastier!
But here's the pain side of all this work:

Kind of gross, all the splits and needle stabs I'm enduring. I jabbed a needle like 1/2" into this awful open bleeding thumb crevasse and then danced a mighty jig to stop from screaming. That really hurt. I guess that the down side to having a show in which all the pieces are sewn. But the work looks great and I plunge on wards, fighting through that old agony and ecstasy...
One more picture for good measure as I'm pleased as proverbial punch to be up and blogging again:

Dead flowers! A fitting last bouquet, plucked just before the cold weather began in earnest. Lovely perennial chrysanthemums from friend Bob. Well, they were lovely before they dried out, but they persist in our bathroom as a remembrance of this recently departed last gardening season. Only funny thing here is that I didn't take  picture of the new computer. Maybe next posting.

The Felling of Tithonia 1-2-3

Remember that Tithonia that was just wrong? Too tall and no blooms and a rampant gangly thing? Well, after several recent rain falls and ever-skyward aspirations, I deemed it had gone too far, with too little result. I chopped down three in one bed, and three in another. Look at the size of the hole that monster left when I yanked it from the ground! I felt like Paul Bunyan.

Here's the mighty pile of leaves that resulted from my handiwork. And you know what? I sure don't miss them! The asters and dahlias and other denizens of this particular border seemed to heave a sigh of relief.

This is a shot for scale: Jules is a medium to large retriever mix and that pile of plant is big. Bob measured one out at at least 9 feet! I did leave one alone, to see if it would actually throw a few late season blooms. But here it is, September 26th and not a bud in sight. I did manage to knab a few seed heads from the Tithonia growing- and flowering!- in front of a local real estate agent's office. Next year I hope to have the real thing and not this mutant pretender!