Weather or Not

 

Nothing "candy ass" about the weather! Ay ca-rumba! One day it's 50 degrees and sunny, the next day it's 10 degrees with a wind chill of minus 5... then we get snow. Then we get weird rain and now we have three inches of soon-to-be frozen slop. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when I try and venture out to feed the poor horses who have been struggling to remain upright on ice. Maggie went and cut her leg on something sharp (while eating her breakfast?) and her paddock looked like a crime scene. I was going to photograph it but even I demurred; too gruesome! I washed her leg off, and despite her protestations, treated her wound with Vetericyn and bandaged it. It seemed fine by this afternoon, no more bloody snow!

So at least the evil weather has proven to be fertile time for me to get into my studio and make art. Incidentally, it was so cold for three days that I didn't even attempt to make a fire in the wood stove in my studio. I worked- like old times!- in the living room. Today, I was back in the studio, cutting out letters for a new piece. Betcha wonder what this one is going to say?!?!?! You'll just have to wait until I decide to share my newest "words of the day". 

Here's a detail. Yes, all of those tiny dots are individual seed beads, hand sewn on. I was referencing that weird (to my mind anyway!) candy that came on strips of paper. It always had bits of paper stuck to the back of the individual dots and I can't for the life of me remember it tasting like anything at all. But some friends have confessed to LIKING that candy. Go figure!

And little did I know that there is a queer, Jewish, male artist named Cary Liebowitz who goes by the name "Candy Ass". And he and I have a lot in common when you look at his work: he uses text- often scrawled in a awkward, hand written sort of way, he uses profanity (who me?!?), references the art world ... and he's funny. Check it out! Anyway, I knew nothing about him until a friend mentioned him to me on Instagram. You learn something every day!
 

                                               

 I decided to do my Candy Ass piece because my good friend Wasil often used this phrase to refer to stupid, clumsy or weak things or people. (He doesn't recall using this phrase but where the hell would I come up with it??!?!) I am dedicating this piece to Wasil... he's not candy ass at all!!

 

Ice Nine*

Let's face it- does anyone like ice? I may complain about snow and cold (and yes, winter in general) but ice sucks. It took me and Bob a good 1/2 hour to chip 1/2 inch of ice from the car. Hell, I couldn't even get inside to turn the engine on and defrost it. It was that frozen.
And boy is it dangerous! Ice doesn't like artists, or anyone else for that matter (Remember the abstract artist Cleve Grey? He fell down on ice in Hartford, hit his head and died.) Going across our backyard is alternately very noisy (crunch! crunch! crunch! I was afraid I was waking the neighborhood when I took Robin out the other night) and slippery as all get out. Imagine me skating across the tundra field to feed and water Maggie. I've got 5 gallon buckets afixed to either arm as I take baby steps and make pathetic whooping sounds as I threaten to topple over. I warn Bob to come look for me if I don't return as I've probably fallen and spilled water- quickly solidified into Ice Nine- somewhere between here and the barn. Awful.
So here's a happier, warmer picture: our 2019 Xmas tree! Yay!!! (To remind my followers, the two things I retain an affinity for at Xmas time are 1.) the tree and 2.) cookies!) Our tree is a tad wispy this year but it came from our woods and I like it's slender aspect. Granted, I couldn't hang many ornaments or the chunky lights on it as it was getting weighted down and looked kinda unhappy.)

But it's lovely! And festive! And there'll be less to take down and re-box after the holiday season passes. And fewer needles to clean up as it has fewer branches and less foliage all around. I'm happy.
Hey! While we're at it... Happy Winter Solstice! Days are getting longer from here on in!

*Ice Nine for those of you who don't recall, is a substance that played a major role the Kurt Vonnegut novel Cat's Cradle. A character named Bokonon who starts a religion possesses Ice Nine; capable of destroying the world. If you haven't read it, it is highly recommended. I myself am going to re-read it I remember enjoying it immensely!

Waiting For The End of The World

Well... maybe not the end as we seem to be receiving (thankfully!) way less accumulation of snow and ice than previously projected. Bob had run out on Saturday and stocked up on provisions and I'm glad he did. Despite there being less precipitation, it's a nasty, messy mix of ice and rain and snow and... remind me why we live in New England?!?!

I've been running outside to minister to Maggie and all of her needs- hay, grain (2x a day) and fresh (unfrozen) water. (Plus I like to go out and hang around with her for a while as I think she's bored. I offer her encouragement and break up the monotony.) Maggie does insist upon standing out in this unpleasantness despite 24/7 access to her lovely stall. She even goes in and drags her hay out; what's a horse owner to do??!?!

Robin and I see eye to eye. She wants to go out, but is pretty happy to return inside and get toweled off. In the picture above, she's imploring me to stop fiddling with the camera and PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!

I'm happiest in my studio with the wood stove generating almost too much heat. I call it The Florida Room. I finished sewing diamonds all the way around my latest piece yesterday and today I embark on a new-ish project. I am (finally) starting my latest book, "A Pot To Piss In (or: What's an Artist Urn? (Earn)) about income disparity and my lowly place in the economical hierarchy that is modern day America. I have actually been playing with these ideas for a couple of years but become so extraordinarily depressed when contemplating the magnitude of the situation that I have not gotten much further than a few trial images and then holding my head in my hands in despair. Alas! I like my artist book offerings to be funny (or at least trenchantly amusing) but this one seems dark and unrelenting. Perhaps I'll win the lottery before long and can change the timbre of of my tome to one of financial success and optimism! Fat chance!

What Is It With Me and the Weather?!?!?

I know, I know: it IS Winter and everyone gets miffed with ice, snow, cold temperatures, driving wind and grey days. But sometimes, I feel the need to respond personally.
A good friend asked me that question a couple of days ago (Hi Louise!), because every time I'm supposed to do something- something important like meet the Queen or  take a trip to the Moon- the weather predictions become dire. I was supposed to address my adoring audience of art lovers and art groupies tonight at the school where my art is on display but I postponed it because it's predicted that snow will start this afternoon, and they've been coy as to how much.
Alas, on Saturday, when Bob and I are slated to go into NYC to install my work at the Spring/Break Art Fair, it's currently predicted to snow all day. I have been skating my schedule around to accommodate changing that to Friday or Sunday... but it's hell to not be certain when and if you're hopping on a train to set up the most important show of the year! And I feel badly not being courageous and damning the weather and plowing forward, come hell or high water but I have bigger concerns: like not getting in an accident and winding up damaged and without a car! (I also know that I will inconvenience my co-art stars but me thinks they receive less snow where they are (further south) and are possessed of such assets as four wheel drive and stronger stomachs for hazardous drives.
Update: As it stands now, I'm going in the evening before installation and staying over at our gallerist's home in Greenwich and we will drive (with my work securely tucked into the back of her Prius). Lord knows what the weather will bring. Yesterday's threatened snow fall turned out to be a few wonky flurries and a real dud of a storm... but I guess that's better than sliding off an on ramp into a snow bank.* Maybe I need to take a chill pill, whatever that is.
And, yes, I probably am a tad wound up because we are on the brink of an exquisite art experience! That's bound to make one jittery. It's a good thing I spent the afternoon finishing a large piece (crystals pictured above an integral part) and playing with Robin the Good!

Tired her all out...


*Unfortunately, I think I inherited an awful propensity for seeing disaster looming from my saintly mother (aka "Mommy"). She was always predicting tragedies... On the other hand, I do think that people exercise undo bravado when traveling under less than optimal conditions. And I've had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many harrowing journeys home in inclement weather to feel sanguine about venturing forth when blizzards and ice are expected.

Could Have Been Worse!

I never thought I'd say this but I would have taken snow! There is an inch of ice on everything. Sparkly-yes! Luminous-yes! Pretty from the house-yes! But it's miserable out there. I guess I really don't need to tell you this if you live anywhere in the NorthEast...
This morning, at 6:00 when it was -1 degree, I was half way the barn with Maggie's bucket o'slops when it dawned on me that it was dark and incredibly cold AND very slippery. If I happened to fall down no one would know (as Bob was still in bed) and I'd no doubt freeze to death. (No one that is except Robin who was already back on the terrace, waiting to go in- unusual behavior for her!) Fortunately, I'm here to write this blog so I obviously kept my footing and all is well. (How beings like Maggie stay outside is beyond me. She seemed fine, swaddled as she is in her heavy-duty high neck waterproof horse house coat.)

(Our fence, crested with Bob's magical miniature houses, are delightful in the ice.)
So we were smart and cleared the ice off the cars yesterday, figuring that they'd probably freeze shut overnight. I was deep into ice-encrusted snow removal when Bob pointed out that the tree directly above the car was leaning precariously and endangering both me and the car. I got the keys and Bob moved the car across the driveway by the truck. A half hour later, safely back in the house, I had a urge to look out the back door. Guess what:

Bob had had a premonition! The tree fell down and would have crushed the car! (in which we had only the day before replaced the starter motor.) There is indeed something to be said for trusting one's instincts! Boy winter sucks; but we had it cleaned up within an hour- that's Bob with the chain saw to the left above. But haven't I mentioned recently that that's all we did this year??!?!?)

So it could have been worse... but it's bad enough. There's ice everywhere, it's fucking freezing outside and my curator is cancelling (again). But we do have power and food and the wind wasn't as bad as predicted (which means fewer broken trees and less chance of loosing power) but we're getting "shack-y whack-y". (That's an updated form of cabin fever, according to our mechanic friend Bob). Can we believe that Wednesday is supposed to be in the 40's and rainy?
At least the lousy weather was good for something: I finished my piece, "Your Words Have Consequences".

Catching Up With Maggie

I have been told by Maggie that I am ignoring her fan club and haven't posted about her in quite a while. Well, there she is, in all her resplendent glory outfitted in her new rain coat; quite fashionable- and functional!
I am not an inveterate blanketer of horses: their heavy winter coats offer plenty of protection and there are independent studies that show that their coats can stand up or lay flatter to provide insulation and warmth. But when it gets really cold (we had minus 2 last week) I bundle Maggie up in a heavy jacket that I've had for years (Crispin wore the same winter blanket) and I know Maggie appreciates the extra warmth.
And Maggie is a girl who likes to stand around outside when it sleets and snows. She gets all wet and if the temperature drops, I worry that she'll get sick. She's not a young horse and while I realize it's probably my projection of how I'd feel in the wet and cold, I purchased the above rain protection for her. I think she likes it.
(And I will amend that  the act of purchasing a horse rain sheet is not as simple as it sounds. There are many brands and styles (not to mention "novelty" colors and patterns, like peace signs and breast cancer awareness and zebra stripes and Burberry plaid: haute couture for the horse!) and you have to measure your beast carefully so that you achieve a proper fit. It was nerve wracking somewhat expensive (believe me: you can spend hundreds of dollars) and you want it to be just right. Does she look okay? Does it make her butt look big? If you see Maggie, just tell her it looks fabulous!)
I would also like to offer a wee rant about how this is not the easiest weather to care for our four-footed friends. The cold and dark at 6:00 or 7:00 am is atrocious but I feel the need to run out and feed Maggie as she's been standing around in the elements all by herself. She's got to be at least a little hungry and miserable! The food is the easy part.
The water is the worst! Dreadfully early in the morning, I schlepp two (heavy) plastic pails of water, filled at the kitchen sink. (No hose or outside faucet in the cold weather.) These buckets are to be emptied into the two buckets in Maggie's activity area. One is inside the stall, next to the hay rack; the other is outside, clipped onto the fence so that she can't knock it over. (She tries anyway...) Both of these outdoor buckets are frozen solid- I mean SOLID. I wrestle one free from the hook, drag it outside the fence and pound the ice with a metal fence post, reserved just for this occasion, and stamp on the side to further smash the ice. (The other day, Bob had to use a sledge hammer as it was so cold and so frozen I couldn't get the ice to budge.)

The other fun thing to throw into the mix is that Maggie likes to take a sip of water while consuming her hay. Many horses do this, but I can tell you that it makes a nasty, noxious green "soup" in her water bucket as the hay festers in the water along with a goodly dose of horsey saliva. Boy oh boy does it stink on a warm day! In the cold weather, the hay freezes into the ice like so much fiberglass reinforcement and makes getting the ice out of the bucket even harder. And you haven't lived until you chop a hole in the ice and the slushy, slurpy demi-ice sloshes back up out of the bucket and onto your pants or down you boot! Hooray for winter!

Not Going Any Where- Fast or Otherwise

How's that for a metaphor for our lives at present? A snowed in door! And the drift of snow is not the only impediment! That icicle to the left is ominous. I'm not going to further regale my audience with further woes of winter's tales... except that I'm scheduled to participate in an artist's talk on Sunday at Odetta Gallery in Brooklyn and it's supposed to be like 4 degrees with 70 mile an hour winds and maybe (aaaarrrrggggh!) more snow!!
But we'll take one day at a time... be all Zen. Maybe the gods will smile and will send us blue skies and happier trails. We can only hope!
But Bob, thinking ahead as tomorrow is supposed to bring us more.... flowers! Saturday is bringing us flowers! Saturday is Valentine's Day, after all.

Look at that lovely bouquet! I'm so happy! Beautiful, colorful, amazing flowers. Temporarily, my winter dreads have been driven away. For the next 24  hours, I promise to not innumerate the various and many things that my gloves stuck to this morning while delivering Maggie her morning water: the gate, the barn door, the stall bucket handle, the outside bucket (pulling the glove right off my hand), the outside door handle- and on and on. I literally froze to everything. But banish that thought. Tonight through tomorrow, I promise to vacation in my mind. But come Sunday, I'll be crazy mad if the weather doesn't cooperate. How long can this last?!?!?!