Fun with Fungi!

The persistent rain and weird weather may not be to my liking but the mushrooms, toadstools and other forms of life seem to love it! Our yard has become a hot-bed of exotic species. Down by the lilac bed I discovered the above specimen, simply erupting from the lawn.

And this tiny puffball is only a few feet away. Bob eats them. As he hasn't died yet, I guess they're safe to consume but the whole house smells like mushrooms when he cooks them. I'm not a big eater of mushrooms; I will tolerate them on pizza because their sneaker-bottom rubberiness and peculiar flavor is masked by cheese, garlic, spice and tomato sauce. These guys can get huge! We once had one in our yard back in Bridgewater that was the size of a soccer ball, but Bob picks them early as they get brown and nasty pretty quickly. Also slugs and company chew on them.

Ahoy! Yet another variety, this one wriggling up the side of one of our (many) splintered tree stumps. Not certain as to the kind, but it looks like mucous ribbons. That probably edible, too. The poisonous ones are like these:

The other day, they resembled your classic mushroom shape with a clear stem and cap and little gills underneath. The tops started out a vibrant neon yellow. I have watched them explode and slime as the rain kept coming. Some of these suckers are really deadly and even mushroom experts get killed occasionally. Here's a close up:

Nothing appetizing about that! It is pretty amazing that all the above occurred in a small portion of the yard. There's loads more and it looks like fairy land. And then there's this beauty, sneaking through the fence from our neighbors...

Hello! Yes, that's a lusty poison ivy vine. I have already succumbed to several rounds of itchy festering bumps so I'm keeping my distance, no matter how friendly this vine is trying to be.

Home Improvements

Just be glad that this posting isn't what I initially had in mind: a political rant celebrating the ostrich-skinned downfall of Paul Manafort (hopefully leading to the ultimate removal of The Orange Menace and Co.) Instead, I am focusing on subjects closer to home.
Like the bedroom, fr'instance. Next to my side of the bed, about four feet up on the wall is the above hole. The former owner of The BauHaus Chicken Coop, Ken the Kreative Karpenter, used to spontaneously redecorate the house with a saws-all. We figured out that this particular hole was carved out to accommodate a television set that was viewed from the bed that had been placed in the opposite direction from where we have it. (We position our bed in configuration with lay lines so that our heads point due north). The hole has remained untouched for the seven years we have lived here, as is, until today. Literally, it was a rough hole with exposed studs and a view of the back side of the bathroom, and a towel used to block the right hand side which opened onto a no man's land that exists behind the bedroom and bathroom. Not a pleasant place!

(There's the hole in configuration with the lamp above the bed.) For some reason, as I looked the hole this morning, I was newly provoked to ask, "Why are we living with a sizable hole in our wall?" I promptly removed the ceramic foo dog, the small metallic wind up walking alligator and the small basket of jewelry that had resided there and began cleaning, thinking I would commit to a small construction project. I decided to attempt to box in the hole.
I was preempted by Bob, who mercifully rescued us and set to doing things in the correct way. I will admit to thinking that I could have sliced up a few odds and bits of sheet rock and wedged them in and thrown some paint on it and called it a day. Bob does things the way they should be done, with drills and screws and skill saws and measurements. Here's a practical demonstration: the furniture was moved aside, tools were laid out and chaos ensued so that order could ultimately be imposed.

I admit that my contribution was reduced to vacuuming six and a half years worth of dust from the hole. (It was so bad that I didn't even photograph it for posting here! I had to bath my foo dog...)
But several hours later, Bob had neatly enclosed the space and all that awaited was for me to spackle the screw holes and paint it (at a later date).

 Big improvement! Neatly boxed in and clean; I was all set to fill in the holes and prepare for the eventual paint job but the spackle had been unused for a couple of years so it was moldy when I opened the can. EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! (It smelled sour, too!)

Hahahahaha. I had to include this to share the grossness! I'll post pictures after we've procured new joint compound and the hole is finished. Betcha can't wait!

Melonheads and Other Odds and Ends

According to an article sent by a concerned friend, our road was once inhabited by beings referred to as "Melonheads". This was by all accounts a (very politically incorrect) reference to the somehow deformed (and deranged) unfortunates that resided (according to local legend) in this area and devoured pets and small children. I guess Bob and I fit right in!
On a cheerier note, the picture above was captured using (hooray!) my new smart phone. I am on a steep learning curve- me being a Melonhead and all- to figure out arcane skills like "texting" and using "apps". You will remember that I had what I affectionately called my "dumb phone" which delivered a pretty good phone call... but I never did figure out how to do really basic stuff, like delete old messages or text. And it had no camera! No Internet! So this new phone is way cool and already impressing me.
My birthday was really pretty tremendous this year. I got the aforementioned phone and other useful and fun things from Bob. And then my family visited: Hello Cathy! Hello Beatrice! Hello John! And despite the day being overly hot and muggy, we had a good time, debating who the next viable presidential candidate should be and how soon The Orange Menace will be deposed. Yuck.
But my family came through bigly and presented me with fabulous wine and plants and delicious foods. I am fat and happy.
I spent the day planting my gifts (A yellow Rhododendron "Capistrano" and an Aralia cordata "Sun King" and Sapphire Flax and Dianthus "Miss Aroma": The first two are in the shade border and the latter two are in the Blue Border.)
I will no doubt succumb to a healthy case of poison ivy because poison ivy seems to be having a good year and it's pretty much every where. First thing this morning, Bob started weed whacking the driveway and I attempted to pitch in and lend a hand. I quickly begged off though, as the poison ivy at the edge of the driveway was some of the healthiest I have ever seen and there was plenty of it. I felt bad leaving Bob to battle the overgrown and jungle-like driveway verge, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my vacation scratching and oozing.

Rites of Passage

In case you didn't know, my birthday was July 20th. My favorite present thus far is definitely this fun-loving little Picea Orientalis "Skylands". I have wanted one for ages and almost purchased one multiple times but waited as I wasn't sure where it would go as they do grow and get quite large! But with all that (ahem) available real estate opening up in the back yard, placement is suddenly less an issue. Bob and I took a field trip to Broken Arrow Nursery and located this specimen. I liked the long outreach of his branch; He seemed optimistic. Bob (for reasons unknown) promptly named the tree "Spencer". So welcome Spencer!

Here's the rest of the booty. Bob thrust me firmly into the twenty-first century by presenting me with a Smart Phone. Thank you Bob! Now I will just have to figure out how to activate it and what to do with my fossil phone. I am going to miss showing off just how tragic my phone is/was; you'll recall that it is held together with tape, elastic bands and love. Suffice it to say, I did well in the gifts department and couldn't be happier!

A passage of another sort occurred today. Bob chain sawed an opening in the three-trunked spruce that had landed square in the middle of Maggie's field. That was a lot to cut through! Now Maggie can take a short cut back to her barn and I don't have to steer wheelbarrows full of manure all over the fifty states to dump it! It was quite a journey with a full load of horse manure; especially in the heat and humidity. Try it some time!
And look! More piles of wood! More stacks of logs! Hahahaha! I think I've reached my wood saturation point. Yes, I know we will be happy this winter when we have tons and tons of wood to keep us warm, but there is a lot of the stuff.
And look at this:

That's the top of yet another spruce tree that broke off and landed point down in Maggie's field. That's another sort of clean up to attend to... another day!

Upcoming Oklahoman Birthday

Doesn't that look like somewhere else... as in, "not Connecticut"? As previously reported, we had the dead and dying trees cut off at around 10 feet as we have a PLAN. (Oh just you wait...) Anyway, I have taken to calling our backyard "Oklahoma" (as in: "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOk-lahoma where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain...") because the ground is flat and parched and there are no trees on the left hand side. I expect to see oil derricks sprouting. It's pretty bleak, especially as  it's been so god-awful hot and dry.
Here's a really hard to decipher close up of the (above) blue walkway:

Those are all ants, swarming on the mosaic. It was kind of gross, but really interesting. I don't know exactly what they were up to, but there is still a good deal of saw dust on the walkway from the tree removal episode so maybe they were eating sawdust. It's hard to describe how many there were.
But returning to the subject of flat, parched, barren landscapes, I am interested to see what happens with all the available space I now have in the backyard. While I was at work on Friday, industrious Bob picked up/rolled off and carted away the remaining giant logs that littered our lawn. There is a clear path through to the horse fence (and large heaps of attendant brush). As mentioned, the upside is more room for planting things! I am contemplating a sort of mini-conifer border. Sort of like this, but on a more modest scale:

A screen shot from the Iseli Nursery website. They're in Oregon and grow some pretty spectacular things. It's the stuff of my dreams...

I should probably make a field trip there some day, like visiting Mecca if you're a believer. Well, I'm a believer in Nature and plants!
So I have been starting my coniferous adventures recently. Here's a "De Groots' Spire" that Bob and I purchased at (of all places) Home Depot. You know how I like those tall pointy things!

This puppy grows only a foot wide but eight feet tall. Ooooooooooooooooh! I like that! We also bought a half-price juniper plumosa aurea in Vermont when we were there last weekend. (I hijacked Bob and made him go to the Home Depot in Bennington. They had a great selection- all 1/2 price! I wish we'd had a trailer!) And a word to all family members who may be getting me "living things" for my rapidly approaching birthday: I did NOT purchase anything on the lists of plants I provided. Rest assured, any and all birthday offerings are welcome!!

See You in Hell!

Flaming day lilies to accompany the incredibly hot weather we endured this week! The flowers didn't seem to mind; possibly because I ran around watering and checking up on everyone. How hot was it? Do I have to remind you? The heat index- a new-ish gauge of climate changes real life effect on us all- was over 100 all week. Everyday was a 3 tee shirt day.

The containers look really good (if I do say so myself...) despite needing waterings several times a day. The lawn is a tad crispy in spots but can also be attributed to the massive amounts of trees/logs/sawdust that continues to occupy our time and energy.
And piles? Anyone want to see our piles? It's been so hot that there was a recess taken from all that dragging and stacking and piling...

Bob and I have taken turns hauling this pile from one area to another. We have lacked the energy or impetus to remove it entirely and take it out to the woods.

You see what we're up against! More piles; they will be with us for a long time. No wonder we're getting out of town for the weekend. Actually, it has more to do with Bob having a sculpture to install in North Bennington (VT) at an outdoor sculpture show. Here's a link:
www.nbossvt.org
We had fun last year and it will be good to get away. A friend (thanks Joe!) is staying with Lil' Robin the Good. I think she knows something is up and she is not impressed!

* The title of this blog was originally going to refer to both the protracted heat wave and the resignation of the evil Scott Pruitt as head of the EPA. (Don't make me gag!) But as I stated writing this entry, I realized I wanted to spend as little time as possible discussing evil motherfuckers like Scott Pruitt. Suffice it to say, there is a particularly hot 'n' steamy ring of Hell for him to occupy and there won't be any second hand mattresses or special moisturizers to make his stay in hell easier!

The Tree Guys Cometh

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!! The tree guys finally came to liberate the house from the precarious leaners and to cut down several other potential threats. They wedged a large truck in between the house and the vegetable garden- a tight fit!- and went to work. We found this most exciting!

This is from a slightly different angle, safely out of the way, showing the trees still on the roof and the other ones standing. (I'm inserting more pictures than typical in this post as how often do you have men in buckets swarming your house and trees??!!)

Here's a reminder of how dangerous these things were.

Going up! There were two tree guys: one went up in the bucket and hauled all the aerial stuff down. The other guy admitted to being glad he no longer went up in the bucket as he was afraid of heights; he has company there!

You couldn't pay me! Especially wielding a crazy chain saw!

They had to work together to rope and brace the tree that was leaning on the roof to the other tilted tree and cut off and lower chunks down (carefully!). They were really good at this. Only a modest chip happened to the end of our walkway and no shrubs or trees were harmed (A couple of perennials got driven over but there was no way to avoid that. And a whole lot more damage would have occurred if those trees had fallen on us or the garden!) I mean, this is a heavily gardened area and I'm relieved that I can get in there and weed and plant.

Half gone! You have to appreciate that that bucket is a good twenty feet up! Yikes!

Here they are from the other side, attacking the dead/dying row of pines and spruces. Yes, they were cool trees- looking all skeletal and "Californian" but they did prove dangerous.

Last one standing!! Our house does need a repair. (That's the next project...) It only took a couple of hours total and everything looked...

Oh no! It looked just like after the tornado!!

And... everywhere you look... more branches! More limbs! More cleanup!!!

And with all that work to look forward to, I don't know what Bob was so happy about! (Probably the very excellent fact that we no longer live in danger and we can get the house repaired and WE didn't have to remove the trees and risk life and limb!!)

We felt like such "homeowners", an unusual feeling for us. We traditionally do all our own work; quite interesting to be on the other end and hire people. I could get used to it! (Hahhaahha!!)