What Next?

Poor Robin the Good was found to be positive for anaplasmosis, one of the many lovely tick-borne diseases plaguing our outdoor adventures. Both Bob and I had noticed that our usually chipper Robin was a bit depressed and seemed under the weather; the blood test confirmed our suspicions. Robin was perscribed a two week course of antibioics (twice a day), which she willingly accepted for about a day and a half.

My first line of administration was tuck it into a blob of peanut butter (*1). Another day of two doses sucessfully taken... until Robin caught on and decided peanut butter was now to be avoided at all costs. I then purchased some extra smelly meat-like dog treats which proved effective for another day or so and then those treats were also found out to contain the dreaded pills. I wrapped the pills in a chunk of chicken skin... but ditto, as this too was found out and Robin then decided that I was trying to poison her. She began refusing food and even her beloved Kong (*2). I confess to resorting to cornering poor Robin and wedging the pills into her mouth (between all those lovely, pointy, sharp canine teeth). I then had to hold her mouth shut and message her throat until she swallowed. No one was happier than I when Robin finished her course of antibiotics; two weeks felt like two bloody years!

Imediately after completing her course of medication, Robin seemed her normal bumptious self. The first time I saw her skipping blithely across the lawn I was over joyed. She had recovered and all of my careful doctoring was rewarded. No one wants to see their beloved beast sick! But Robin then began presenting a weird new behavior...

We will never know if Robin's next manifestation of doggy quirk was somehow brought on by the illness or the pills or if it was simply a bizarre coincidence, but Robin began expressing what is called a "pseudo-pregnancy". (*3) She would pick up one of her stuffed toys- interstingly, only the two green vaguely "dog-ropromorfic" ones- and carry it around while squeaking and whinning in the most heart-breaking manner possible. She's retreat to the cave under our computer table and just look miserable. I began thinking, "Great! Now she's lost her marbles!"

(One of two of Robin's "puppies".) Fortunately, this stage has only lasted four days or so and Robin seems as normal as she ever does (*4). She has been eating, I seem to have been forgiven for attempting to poison her and she's walked past her two green puppies without a thought. It's good to have her back!

(*1) It does mystify me as to why dogs love peanut butter as much as they (rather universally) do. It resembles nothing else they eat and requires preparation in the form of grinding and putting it in a jar and labeling it. Weird.

(*2) A Kong, for those of you who are (unfortunatley) dog-less, is this molded rubber object (looks like some sort of sex toy) who's cavity is filled with dog treats, usually bound togther in a mortar of peanut butter; keeps them busy for a few minutes. Robin adores hers and will not start the day without one!

(*3) Believe it or not, this is a fairly common behavior in female dogs and cats- whether spayed or not. When we were growing up, we had a cat (I think it was Mazille) that took to meowing pitifully while carrying a mitten around in her mouth. I still remember her going up the cellar stairs with her mitten kitten, apparently looking for a safe spot.

(*4) Normal being relative. Robin the Good is a truly superior dog with a mind to match but she is a bit odd. She doesn't like car rides, she doesn't like walks, and she doesn't particularly care for other dogs. 

Lots to Do!!

 

Well this is a partial explanantion as to why I haven't had a minute to post a new blog. The siren song of gardening is calling with all its attendant demands on my time. You have to go to nurseries and garden centers (and local plant sales) to buy the plants with which to fill borders and containers. Then you have to keep them happy until you plant them. And you have to shuffle them from outdoors to indoors when there's danger of  freeze. Which there was! In May! And not early May! Lots of things I would have considered hardy got zapped: young leaves on a Tiger's Eye Sumac, many of the young shoots on the garpe vines, Casa Blanca lily stalks... pretty depressing! So every day, I lugged all those tender plants pictured above in and out of my studio... 

And as if that weren't enough to keep an actively gardening artist busy I also had two shows to prepare for. One show, "The NO Show" I actually helped plan/organize and "curate" against all my best instincts. I've always vowed to never avail myself to the other side of the artistic process as producing art shows can be a thankless and punishing process. But NO!! It's been great! Artist chosen were well-behaved and actually got their work to us and set up of the show went swimmingly. A pleasant surprise!! Thank you Jim (*1) and Megan!

Oh no! There's plants everywhere!! Even hiding under my studio table! Aaaaaauuughhh!!! Anyway, I was also asked to show at another space at the end of June so I had to clean up the studio to accomodate the curator- move over plant life!

(*1) The concept for The NO Show came about because our friend Jim was frequently bemoaning his inability to say NO to people who came to his shop with requests for repairs and the like. I kiddingly gave him the assignment to create a large NO out of metal and put it on the lawn in front of his studio. A few years passed with me periodically reminding him to make the damned NO. One day while visiting him, we started riffing on how saying NO was a good thing and how many of us artists say "YES" to donations and things we really didn't want to do... which led to The NO Show. It's a good way to liberate yourself from always saying yes.

 

April Showers Bring...

 

Weird alien life formers growing on a manure pile. Look at this charmer! Translucent with odd vein like things running over the surface... like an alien skull! The almost constant moisture we've experienced has erupted into myriad colorful and exotic mushrooms.

How about these frilly positively Baroque specimens? They look like the Flying Nuns head gear! They sprang up over night and this is on rather fresh manure... not even composted.

Look at this one! Appears to almost have testicles off to the right. This beauty is really lubricious; looks nasty and shiny.

Look at the sheer variety of forms. Not sure what any of these individuals are but my guess is the're pretty poisonous. And who wants to eat something off the manure pile!?!! (But after the natto, maybe eating this would be preferable...) (*1)

And then there's Bob's lunch! No, not plucked from the compost/manure pile but from spores installed in his mushroom logs. They love the damp weather!

(*1) That last mushroom seems maybe to be a "Shaggy Ink Cap" or Coprinus comatus. We looked in a book...

Under No Circumstances!

 Several things prompted me to purchase natto, a Japanese fermented soy bean food that is supposed to be extremely good for you. At our local health food emporium, several helpful sales people had trouble locating it- which should have been a big red flag as to how "popular" it is. (Or, as we will establish, isn't). I purchased two containers, one small bean and the other large bean.

I had been warned that it was an acquired taste and that it took getting used to. But Bob and I are pretty game when it comes to trying strange stuff (*1) and I said, "Let's give it a whirl". Be warned if you have a weak stomach... 

Okay, so one other weird thing is the instruction to stir the natto 400 times before consuming. I started off, got to 50 and handed the honors on to Bob. I expected to get the natto back at 100 stirs and carry on alternating but Bob was so enthusiastic that he stirred his heart out and soon we had achieved the 400 required for optimal enjoyment. I am going to add here that the "aroma" exuding from this container was... interesting and not exactly appealing, but even hard boiled eggs smell kind of like sulphur. We had a few discussions as to how best to ingest this substance; Bob opting for its use as a condiment on top of rice, me suggesting in a Triscuit cracker (something familiar) with mustard and cheese.

I will also insert here that as it was 4/20, we had smoked a nice joint and were pleasantly, smilingly buzzed. We do our best to observe most national holidays. We were stoked!

Oh boy. Despite the odor- because in truth it was an sewage-like odor, not aroma- and despite the resembleance of its texture to the specific drool that occurs prior to one's dog puking (*2) I gamely raised that cracker to my mouth and bit in. I had chewed this edible monstrosity for approximately four seconds and was beginning to consider swallowing when what can only be called a deeply visceral response occurred. My entire body from my feet up to my throat recoiled and I was wracked by the need to eject the alien from my being. My body was screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Under no circumstances!! Whatever that thing is it will not be allowed in!!" I rose quickly and said, "I think I'm going to throw up!" Which I did, happily having made it to the bathroom in time. (*3)

Bob was not inclined to hurl but he allowed that maybe you had to grow up eating it to appreciate it and that it did seem to be an acquired taste. The one cracker taste test was enough to seal our natto experiment and the offending package was covered and returned to the refrigerator. It took a while to get that taste and texture from our mouths memory banks (*4) We completed dinner with a salad and crackers and cheese. Palate cleansing...

So anyone with an adventurous streak and a very, very strong stomach is more than welcome to two free containers of almost brand new natto. Hey! It's reputed to be very, very good for you!

(*1) Bob much more so than me!!

(*2) Ropey, thick but stringy and full of slime, slime, slime! Try washing it off your hands; kinda like slug juice.

(*3) I cannot even remember the last time I puked. Honestly. This happened so fast that it was impressive. Every fiber of my being rebelled against natto. My apologies to Japanese food culture but it was not a good experiment. 

(*4) Sorry to say, even looking at these pictures evokes a certain gut response. Not pleasant!

Too Much To Blog About!

 

To begin... HOOORAY!! I am sure we all watched the above performance with delight. I was going to blog about that but thought it might be too much for our already frazzled nerves. I mean, we're all pretty cynical that any charges brought will be dismissed. (Sigh) But we can feel joy and unbridled enthusiasm for justice being done for one minute, can't we? Perhaps I dream.

And for a complete change of pace, I almost blogged about Neko and her new neighbors across the field. There are now two mustangs- one apparently still wild- in residence behind a very stout metal fence. (This is because mustangs, being wild animals, want to escape out of any and all confinements.) Neko seems to be enjoying the horsey company and periodically runs up and down the fence line trumpeting to her friends. I started riding in this area the other day and the mustangs began running around, kicking up heels and acting like crazy springboks. I took Neko and rode in our lower field as I am not in the market for such equine excitement. It can be contagious!

And then I almost blogged about a recent trip to a Large Box Home Improvement Store. (It was Lowe's) I was attempting to locate the seed selection, helpfully wedged sideways behind a wall of outdoor furniture that was being set up. There I was, barricaded behind stacks of chairs and a very corpulent family, who were searching for something garden related, when I turned around and was confronted with that alarming entire wall of fucking Round Up!! Good God! I'm trying to purchase non-GMO organically grown seed and Monsanto is mocking me with a walla walla Round Up. There's enough glyphosate there to give everyone in the state of Connecticut cancer. Holy fuck!! And I'm sure Lowe's will sell all of that arsenal of doom... and more!! Doesn't anyone follow the news?!?!?

Anyway, Happy Holidays!!

A Good Night's Sleep

 

We all recognize that a good night's sleep is important. And that goes double for someone who is sick... like me. Yes! After successfully avoiding getting sick for three full years, thanks to vaccines and boosts and masks and hand washing (and wringing) and learning not to touch my face, I came down with a "common cold". I'm not sure where or from whom this unwelcome rhinovirus originated (A lab? The "fresh market"?) but I'm pretty sure it's the garden variety of head cold. (*1)

But despite illness and snow, one still needs to perform the farm chores. There's Neko- smart horse! enjoying breakfast in her barn- and yes, that's hay hanging out of her mouth. So now that we've all eaten and been watered, I can repair back to bed. Because, as I introduced this post, a good night's sleep is advised.

So last night I fell asleep almost immediately after watching Part 1 of The 1619 Project (enthralling) and missed all of Bob's night time story, apparently about a motorcycle gang. But I woke up at about 12:15 and just could not get back to sleep. This probably had something to do that I awoke unable to breath and gasping for air with my mouth open like a fish. Additionally, my eyes were watering so heavily I felt as if I were crying. As a bonus, the whole of my face hurt (*2) probably because of the pressure of my sinuses. Such fun! Then I lay there, unable to return to dream land- or at least unconsciousness. 

(A stock photo of our beloved Robin the Good as she refused to be photographed for this blog and I'm not sure why as she's very pretty and very photogenic!) Anyway Robin is the star of the next episode of my Very Unpleasant Night as about 2:30 (yes, I was still awake!) Robin commenced making a quite impressive range of canine vocalizations signaling that she needed something. In this case, I correctly surmised that despite it being 2:30 in the morning and there being a miserable mixture of snow and rain falling, she needed to go outside to relive herself.

As I turned over to rouse myself from bed and dress appropriate to the hour and the inclement weather, I proceeded to knock my full glass of bedside water over, where it landed on Robin's bed. I attempted- in the dark and quietly so as not to wake Bob up- to mop up the water with a towel from the laundry basket. There was a lot of it and Robin's bed was soaked. Robin was displaying her impatience to go outside so I finished dressing hurriedly and we threw ourselves down the stairs and out the door into winter wonderland. At this point, all I could do was laugh with a bit of hysteria thrown in. 

Robin completed her outdoor mission and we returned to the bedroom where Robin was offended to find her bed had been wet down and messed up. I had to make her a temporary bedding with a couple of flannel sheets and a towel which I am certain she viewed as inferior to her usual bed and worthy of a display similar to the Princess and the Pea. (*3)

Robin was soon snoring, Bob was asleep and I was still wide awake, attempting to doze propped up on pillows, hurting and exhausted. I finally did nod off at like 4:30. Which is why I'm going back to bed right now. Good night!!

(*1) It followed my "classic" development of a cold: sore throat upon awakening, then a progression to stuffed up nose and the impossibility of breathing. Nothing exotic but if I get really enthusiastic later maybe I'll stick a swab up my nose and see if COVID finally came to call!

(*2) Mommy used to describe this as neuralgia, a nerve pain upside the head. It abated after a dose of ibuprofen but it truly was insult to injury.

(*3) In which the princess proves herself to be a Princess by claiming to have not slept at all and is covered in bruises because she felt a single pea placed under a 100 mattresses or so. My little princess...

Corporate America Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!!!!

 

Let's throw technology into that rant, too. This was going to be a "fun" post about an interesting field trip that Bob and I embarked on a few weeks back. But no... thanks to technology, I can't get the pictures on my phone to download onto my computer so you'll just have to wait for that blog episode. Don't hold your breath. 

Okay so the remainder of this blog is an expanded argument about some of the many things wrong in our dystopian country. I was recently in an art show in NYC. As the unpredictable winter weather and COVID are issues, I decided to send my artwork via UPS. My work is easy to roll and fold so into a box it went (*1) and off to UPS I went. I groused as it cost waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more to send than I originally expected (like I could have travelled by train to NYC and back several times for less $$$) but I figured WTH, it saves time and aggravation etc etc. The show ends this weekend, so I decided to make plans to get my work shipped back home. And while I could arrange a pick up by phone or online, I went into the UPS "store" as I felt like there might be problems. Just a hunch...

At the store, I was informed that "they don't handle pick ups". I furrowed my brow and said, "But I already paid for the return of my package (insured, too!)" They said, "But we don't communicate with the drivers". To which I responded, "But you're UPS. They're UPS drivers. You have more communication with them than me, a private citizen". "Oh no," was their answer. "This is a franchise. You have to call them up." Huh? Why call yourself UPS and charge me and then pretend you have no association with the company; highly confusing.

So I returned home and called UPS. I actually got a person who informed me that to schedule a pick up, I was going to be charged and additional $10. WHAT?!?!!? I already pre-paid for a round trip for my art work, what was this about? I got into quite a long harangue and made mention that many other art works were being picked up at the same address on the same day... they stood to make a lot of additional money if we all gave them an extra $10. Sorry! That's the way that is! I called the gallery and the curator there said that others were running into this problem but that at the end of the last show, the UPS driver told the curator that as long as there was a shipping label, he'd take the packages. We'll see.

The same day (I should have known better) I decided to tackle the problem of why we couldn't get our movie selections on Disney+ to stream. Bob and I suspected a technological problem so that's the department I called. I got a young man who hemmed and hawed and apologized (corporate America is really fond of disingenuous apologies.) and finally he asked what kind of device we were attempting to watch Hamilton on. I responded a TCL TV. He sighed and said, "OH! Roku TV's won't allow streaming if you're watching a program with the ads! You have to subscribe to the premium level!" Say what?!?!? We bundled Hulu and Disney+ because the price was right and we only really wanted to see Hamilton and now I'm being told "no; you can't do that unless you pay more... or watch on a Smart Phone or our computer monitor." (Oh great! Hamilton streaming on a 2 inch screen! Fabulous!) So here too, they were attempting to extort an additional $10 out us. I went back on their bundle ad and absolutely nowhere does it say anything about Roku and ads and how disappointed you're going to be- sorry sucker!! It's not even the stupid $10 more; it's the fact they don't tell you this! Infuriating. I also sat on hold for an hour (maybe I'm really stupid...) to try and talk to a supervisor. I finally hung up and we watched the first half of Hamilton (pretty mazing!!!) on our computer. Needless to say, I'm not pleased.

Moral of the story... I don't know. We're all so bound up in corporate life. We never seem to get satisfaction and rarely talk to a real person- and when you do, they're like humanoid robots trained to tell you just how sorry they are (they're not!). Corporations are making money and not feeling any compunction about anything but making money. I was happier back when I read books and never knew I needed TV.

(*1) Word to the wise: find a box and box it yourself at home. The last time I went to UPS and inquired about a box, they wanted to charge me $50 for a cardboard box! I went home and found one of similar size in the attic and used that. They will ship in a recycled box. I mean... really?!??

(*2) So after we finish Hamilton, we're divorcing ourselves from Disney+. I don't even care about the stinking Mandalorian any more! Fuck baby Yoda!