My Brush With The Po-Leece

Here's my partner in crime! Trusty and I were heading home from an exciting visit to Tractor Supply where we had invested in several bags of special Equine Senior Horse Chow (formulated for those elders with few teeth and in need of a bit more fat- Maggie's department). We were tooling along, well within the speed limit and minding our driving p's and q's. We had passed under the highway underpass- a mere mile or so from home- when I espied a police car directly behind me. "Well", I thought, I'll just make sure I continue forward in an orderly and innocuous manner and thank dog we're almost home!"

But no sooner than I had made an impeccable right hand turn onto our lovely road, then the bells and whistles erupt on said police car. I've been pulled over... I hurriedly pull on my mask and rolled my window down, attempting a pleasant and vacuous smile behind my mask. "Yes Officer?" I inquire politely. The woman officer (who looks to be about fifteen years old) responds, "I bet your wondering why you've been pulled over. Your registration has expired." I demure, "But that is simply impossible! I've passed emissions just this past spring and I know I renewed my registration!!" Meanwhile, I fumble in the glove compartment, out of which is spilling insurance cards and salt and peppers from take out food and kleenex... and the envelope with my registration. I triumphantly pull it out and realize she's right (of course!) and my car's registration has expired not just in December of 2021 but December of 2020... how is this possible!!?!??!?!!? Now I feel like a crazy person.

"It must be COVID time!" I exclaim. "We haven't been driving much and gee, the paper work must have gotten lost!" She was kind enough to reply, "It happens" and let me off with a warning and a quite jolly, "I know you're going to go home and re-register your car right now!" Which I most certainly did.

And found out that Bob's truck hadn't been registered since 2019!! Hahhahhahaha!! Whoops! And how did we not get in trouble from that? We've driven to New York- where if you recall, we broke down and were towed and a policeman gave us a ride. HE could have ticketed us if he'd run our plates! We've also transported Bob's sculpture to Vermont on several occasions and never got flagged for expired registration. I guess we've been very lucky. 

Don't worry: we're all 100% legal now. It was a relative bargain, too. Only a $10 late fee (and the weird other fees they tack on like something called a park use fee...) and the original cost and we're good.

And here's a preview of fun to come! Bomb Cyclone a'comin! Get out those snow shovels and blowers! Batten the hatches and stock up on milk and toilet paper... and bread!!
 

Weather or Not

 

Nothing "candy ass" about the weather! Ay ca-rumba! One day it's 50 degrees and sunny, the next day it's 10 degrees with a wind chill of minus 5... then we get snow. Then we get weird rain and now we have three inches of soon-to-be frozen slop. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when I try and venture out to feed the poor horses who have been struggling to remain upright on ice. Maggie went and cut her leg on something sharp (while eating her breakfast?) and her paddock looked like a crime scene. I was going to photograph it but even I demurred; too gruesome! I washed her leg off, and despite her protestations, treated her wound with Vetericyn and bandaged it. It seemed fine by this afternoon, no more bloody snow!

So at least the evil weather has proven to be fertile time for me to get into my studio and make art. Incidentally, it was so cold for three days that I didn't even attempt to make a fire in the wood stove in my studio. I worked- like old times!- in the living room. Today, I was back in the studio, cutting out letters for a new piece. Betcha wonder what this one is going to say?!?!?! You'll just have to wait until I decide to share my newest "words of the day". 

Here's a detail. Yes, all of those tiny dots are individual seed beads, hand sewn on. I was referencing that weird (to my mind anyway!) candy that came on strips of paper. It always had bits of paper stuck to the back of the individual dots and I can't for the life of me remember it tasting like anything at all. But some friends have confessed to LIKING that candy. Go figure!

And little did I know that there is a queer, Jewish, male artist named Cary Liebowitz who goes by the name "Candy Ass". And he and I have a lot in common when you look at his work: he uses text- often scrawled in a awkward, hand written sort of way, he uses profanity (who me?!?), references the art world ... and he's funny. Check it out! Anyway, I knew nothing about him until a friend mentioned him to me on Instagram. You learn something every day!
 

                                               

 I decided to do my Candy Ass piece because my good friend Wasil often used this phrase to refer to stupid, clumsy or weak things or people. (He doesn't recall using this phrase but where the hell would I come up with it??!?!) I am dedicating this piece to Wasil... he's not candy ass at all!!

 

House-aversary!

 

Hard to believe, but we moved into the architectural gem 12 full years ago! We are starting our 13th year of occupation of the Bauhaus Chicken Coop. And what a dozen years it's been! For one thing, there was a "good"  three feet of snow on the ground at the time of our closing (*1) and moving was a long, strange trip.  But despite the arduous (at times) journey, we made it and we made this place our home.

And I must say, despite a crazy world and COVID and all sorts of bizarre-o things neither Bob nor myself could have predicted, we mostly stayed (sorta) sane and are happy. Looking at this picture that I snapped this morning, I'm seeing so many of the projects that we tackled- and accomplished. My studio (to the right in the photo), the terrace (well, blocked by the picnic table) and the chimney we constructed to allow installation of the wood stove. And that's just the visible projects! We've got extensive gardens, fences galore, two (!!) horses, and a new giant screen (*2) TV!!

Yes, that's Rachel Maddow interviewing a former New York District attorney- in our bedroom. Those two rectangle to right and left are our bedroom windows so you can see just how large this sucker is. Bob and I keep reciting, "They're so big! They're life-size!" I guess the TV will provide company and excitement in the cold, dark days of winter ahead. (*3)

And congratulations to us! Bob and me! on 12 full years of home ownership and house occupation.

(*1) And this year? It was 55 degrees the last couple of days, absolutely no snow and Bob just harvested Swiss chard and Tatsoi from our garden?!?!?!?!? How's that for a bit of personal Climate Change observation?

(*2) Hell! It's gianter than I even thought... like BIG! Kinda scary, but fun!

(*3) Hahhahaha! Lest anyone thing we just took the TV out of the box, threw it up on the wall, turned it on, synced it with our "devices" and began watching... no. We started yesterday afternoon; Bob successfully wall-mounted the monster and then we encountered "issues". Like logging into Google accounts we rarely use, password conundrums and the like. I begged off after realizing that my brain had stopped working (*4) I was beginning to moan in a pitiful fashion. This morning, fortified by bagels and coffee and a tea chaser, we (somehow) managed to log on and watch TV. Success was ours!

(*4) I attempted to help Bob after a particularly strenuous riding lesson in which my instructor confused me so badly about turning left and right that I was almost punch drunk. My poor horse thinks I'm stupid and I'm surprised my instructor didn't throw her hands in the air and leave. She did threaten to spray paint a large L and R on poor Neko's shoulders... You gotta love it when someone's in the middle of the ring yelling, "Where are you GOING??!?!?" and you honestly thought you'd gone the right way... alas!