In Which I Get a Grant and Then Can't Sleep

The title of this posting pretty much says it all. Yaaaay!! Hooray for me! I got a grant from the state, which makes me a National Treasure (all friends/family members/coworkers/sycophants take note!) and worthy of the utmost respect. Hey! This is my third (3 time's the charm!!) grant from the state so I must be doing something right...
After all that excitement and the general craziness at work, I was so tired and strung out that I couldn't sleep on Monday night. That meant I was doubly tired and mixed up on Tuesday, so of course I couldn't sleep again and had another of my crazy post-Apocalyptic dreams. That made me such a mess on Wednesday that I actually cancelled my riding lesson. Boy, I KNOW I was tired if I bagged on that as I look forward to my ride all week long. I tried napping but Robin the Good keep poking me with her nose and paws to make sure I wasn't dead and I never really did sleep until later that night. I think I've caught up now, but it still hasn't entirely sunk in that I got a grant.
So what does one do after all the dust settles and reality hits? I start a new piece! *(1) Seen above is another of that awful Rush Limbaugh's portmanteaus... "Feminist" and "Nazi" make "Feminazi", of course: a title I will proudly claim if it makes me deplorable in Rush Limbaugh's lard encrusted eyeballs. I began this piece when I heard that The Orange Menace had awarded Limbaugh The Fucking Medal of Freedom for (apparently) being a racist, sexist, homophobic right-wing moron. I swear, what won't they dream up next? I read that The Orange Menace was dictating what kind of architecture is to be used in governmental buildings- shades of Mussolini!! Could things get any weirder??!? Dangerous question, that! *(2)

*(1) Well, yes, I started a new piece but it was so cold my studio wouldn't warm up so I actually began a through house cleaning. I vacuumed upstairs, downstairs and the actual stairs and am going to clean the bathrooms once I post this. Maybe I should hire a cleaning person with that grant money! Hahahahahah!


*(2) And now reports have The Orange Menace wanting to do a victory lap in the presidential limousine (nicknamed "The Beast") at the Daytona 500 or some other NASCAR event. Banana Republic here we come!!

Who Wore It Better? (And Other Goings On)

                              
                              

Well... what do you think? Bob was channeling his inner Billy Porter and I was fortunate enough to capture him on camera. I guess we needed a bit of light hearted diversion as there's so much grimness out there: like the death of democracy! But hey! Who's counting?
Anyway, I vow not to be political in this post as we all need a break but WTF?!?!!? Our newly minted king is already feeling his wild oats and wreaking havoc throughout the kingdom...  Arrrughh! What was I just saying? Hard NOT to be obsessed with all things political. Well, thanks to Mitt Romney anyway.
Okay, here's something completely different. Bob (although not wearing that attractive lampshade head ornament) has been inspired to build a nice wooden gate behind our wood pile, which serves to not only provide a back stop for our fire wood, but shields us from the neighbor's house.

Looks almost religious. Hahahaha! That's just the difference in wood tones between the fence sections he used to construct the two gate panels and the reinforcing vertical strips. Soon enough, they will all weather to the same shade. The gate now easily opens so that we can simply back the truck up and unload firewood. We used to have to toss it over the fence which was way more work and supremely awkward. Additionally, when we sit on our terrace and enjoy our afternoon coffee or a nice pre-dinner cocktail, we no longer have to catch glimpses of our neighbor's suburban Shangri La.
Awesome; let's hear it for Bob!
The next picture tells a sadder tale:

While strolling about the garden, desperately wishing for the arrival of an early spring, I couldn't help but remark to myself that our DeGroot's Spire Arborvitae looked particularly slim. (They're supposed to be narrow, but this was extreme). Several days later, it looked even skinnier. It dawned on me that we have fallen prey to the scourge of foraging deer, a fate we have been spared until now. I was so pissed! They even chewed off DeGroot's little topknot; I sure hope he recovers this spring! I swaddled him as a protection, but it's too late to have prevented the damage done. No longer will I be cavalier and assume we're lucky. This spring will bring a stepped up campaign of spraying deer repellent and vigilance!





















          

Hopping Mad

I am so disgusted, infuriated, upset and pissed off about the Impeachment hearings that I am spluttering. No witnesses?!??!!?!? Please, on what god-forsaken planet does this make any sense?
And while, yes, I know, that it was a forgone conclusion from the get-go that The Orange Menace would never be found guilty by that stacked deck of a rethuglican dominated Senate, I am still beside myself. The rethuglicans don't even pretend to care about The Constitution, the rule of law... the truth(!!!) anymore!
And since when is it okay to declare before "the trial" even begins that you have made up your mind and are going to side with the defendant and not be open to changing your mind- even if new compelling evidence comes to light? Why are these partisan lunatics not excused from the proceedings? I can only hope that history judges these imbeciles harshly!
So while I am not surprised by the inevitable outcome, I was hoping that four*(1)- or even five!- rethuglicans would have a shred of decency left and at least request witnesses, especially ones with that all important first-hand evidence. Morally bankrupt! A special circle of Hell has been custom-constructed to house these corrupt weasels. But let's face it: did I expect any less from a party that has thrown it's complete and unswerving support behind a dangerous charlatan and dictator wannabe?!?!?*(2)
Vote those bums out of office! Save our democracy! I personally look forward to a weekend of John Bolton and Lev Parnas and anyone else with a story to tell coming forward... not that it will change anything. And as my sister assured me, not many people are paying attention or really even care.
As if all that wasn't awful enough, England is going Brexit today and Corona virus is causing global panic. What's a Libtard to do?!??! (And for the uninitiated, FUBAR is an acronym for Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. My new piece. Thank you.)

*(1) Susan Collins voted to hear witnesses because she knew that the people of Maine are working to get her booted and she needed to score a few points. Mitt Romney's motives are a bit more complicated and I have to say maybe he has a bit of integrity?
*(2) I offer as a small (not really) bright spot the fact that it might have been even worse had The Orange Menace been found guilty and then removed and (retch) Mike Pence would be president. I tell you, weird religious rethuglicans are even more dangerous as they masquerade as "normal". I ask, "What IS normal anymore??!?!?!??!?"

Blue Things That Move Things

I am happy to report that cleaning up Maggie's field just got easier. I bought a new poop-boggan! In the winter, wheeling a wheel barrow becomes extremely difficult as the tire bogs down in the snow. We had been employing a plastic cement mixing tray but that started cracking and required retirement. Thank goodness for molded plastic toboggans! They are cheap, slide easily and hold just the right amount of horse poop. I forgot that I was going to try sledding down Maggie's field once before I pressed it into service as a manure delivery system- too late!!
And my next mention is months overdue:

Let's hear it for Trusty! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy! Trusty the Accord may not look like a million dollars but this car has definitely earned my respect and gratitude. Yes, he's been backed into a few times and his headlight is strapped on with metal bands and his finish is splotchy... but beneath that beat up exterior lies an engine that starts (every time) and purrs. A big thank you shout out to Beatrice and John for bequeathing Trusty into our hands. Trusty is in remarkably good shape for his age because Beatrice and John kept him in tip-top running condition. I was skeptical at first because he's... well, OLD. But what is age but a number? (I'm finding this out myself!)
Entertainingly, Trusty DOES have his quirks. True to what my sister Beatrice told me, his radio works "when it's in the mood". Likewise his door locks; Trusty seems to like to play a game of, "Guess which lock will unlock today?" with a peculiar randomness known only to him. Ditto the window up and down switches. But he runs and runs really well! And I have customized his back bumper with my current political affiliations:

See? Bernie's on the left and Pete's in the middle and I'm the "Libtard" who's behind the wheel. (Sorry about the bit over-exposed photo but it's REALLY cold out there and I took this picture really fast with no gloves on!!)

I Throw My Hat Into the Ring

As it is reported that there is a lack of enthusiasm among likely Democratic voters and many potential voters are wavering and still undecided AND there are still umpteen Democratic candidates, I thought, "Why not? Why don't I declare my intention to run for president?" Certainly, while my qualifications may seem skimpy, I could do no worse than The Orange Menace. At least I have read the Constitution!*
I plan on spending most of my time in my studio anyway, so I'll carefully select experts and pundits and pros and sages to actually run things. I'm simply running on the all-encompassing platform of WTF. Let's face it, I already have the tee shirts available!
My platform is pretty straight forward. I promise to minimize conflicts and war by maximizing cultural exchange. Under my leadership, we will sing and dance and make art and plant gardens and effectively dismantle the war machinery. Think what we could spend all that money on!
Additionally, I promise the following:

1.) Free studio space to anyone who wants it.
2.) Universal health care for all.
3.) Free, unlimited red wine. (Or, if you insist, white wine).
4.) Legalized marijuana.
5.) Intelligent people of impeccable integrity and credentials will hold important positions.
6.) A Climate Crisis task force will immediately convene and we will re-join the Paris Accord. 
     Alternative energy sources will be implemented and  SUVs will be phased out, along with coal
     fired power plants, nuclear reactors and fossil fuels.
7.) No guns, period. Fuck your 2nd Amendment.
8.) Nasty old men will never again make decisions regarding women's bodies.
9.) Artists, teachers and farmers will be paid more than CEOs, lawyers and politicians.
10.) Animals will be given a bill of rights. (Robin the Good and Maggie will help write this.)
11.) Anyone involved in racist, sexist, homophobic or in any other ways hateful behavior will be sent
       to re-education programs and taught tolerance and be required to perform community service.
12.) All of the errors/mistakes/evil and stupidity of the last three years will be corrected.
13.) The pursuit of happiness will be our guiding principle.

This is just the beginning! I could keep thinking of issues to deal with all day long, as I'm sure you all could add your own wishes to this list. Please contact me with your concerns! See you on the campaign trail!

*And for god's sake! If that weird Lincoln Chaffee is seriously running as a fucking Libertarian?!?! Why not me run?!

9th Year

This post was going to be several (innocuous) things. I wanted to celebrate the 9th anniversary of our house closing and the incredible saga of us moving in (amid three feet of crusty, frozen snow and all kinds of bizarre obstacles!) I also wanted to pay tribute to a new decade; a doubling decade! Happy 2020! May we see more clearly!*1
The hopeful little bowl of supermarket primroses*2 had cheered me up immeasurably: we keep having these dark, drizzly days (at least we're not on fire! Poor Australia!!) and despite the knowledge that the days should be getting longer, it really doesn't feel that way. I spent a day last week, laying in bed and reading seed catalogs and dreaming about this season's garden. That made me feel more alive!
But The Orange Menace and his cronies have other ideas and may have sparked World War III with some ill-thought out drone strike which will inevitably lead to retaliations... oh, hell do NOT get me going. You knew that the continuing impeachment saga was going to provoke tantrums and rash behavior and it did. No surprise! But really? Endanger life on this planet, why don't you?
I can't help it that I feel pretty grim right now. Despite having a house that I love, great companions- human and animal-, a show coming up and all sorts of exciting things afoot in my studio, I feel overwhelmingly troubled. Someone cheer me up... please!!

This bowl of berries has been holding its own since November. Minimal shedding and still colorful; I guess that's cheerful.
I don't know how, but I promise my next posting will attempt to be upbeat and lighthearted. Trust me!


*1 Why do I not think this is likely?!?!?!
*2 Supermarket primroses are the best! Cheap (usually on sale to boot) and if you plant them outside after the weather warms, they are hardy. I have a bunch of them in my shade garden and they come back year after year. Kind of amazing.

(Probably) The Last Post of The Year!

Good riddance to 2019! Only a couple of days left and what have we got? Pink sky at morning! And I mean PINK! And now there does appear to be a weather advisory. (The funny thing is that recently several friends have posted images (un-photoshopped) of pink skies... wonder if it's a Climate Crisis occurrence?
Anyway, out with the old! What a miserable year. I can assure you one man in particular is responsible and I will not utter his name; suffice it to say, I hope he's swept out of office soon!
This year did have good to recommend it: Both Bob and I were in several great art shows, we both created a slew of new work, Bob (with the help of our good friend Joe) replaced the sink in the kitchen, we got our front door open, and we located a handsome beau for Robin the Good. And we are in (relatively) good health. Not too much to complain about on the home front.
And it looks like 2020 will begin on an upbeat note. I just found out that I was accepted in a show at The Ely House Center for Contemporary Art (in New Haven) and the curator, Sharon Butler is an interesting artist and art blogger (check out her blog Two Coats of Paint). the funny thing about this show is that it opens in like two weeks! Talk about starting the year off with a bang! (Don't worry: the work's already done.)
I also am plugging along on a new book project, "A Pot To Piss In: What's an Artist Urn?" and I do mean plugging along. I felt I had to reinvigorate my collage muscles after a long break. I wound up collating and finishing a batch of horse collages that I started years ago. The resulting "Rita Valley's Horsin' Around" is funny and charming. (Hey! This is a way better title than my original idea, "My Medium-Sized Horsies". That was (obviously) playing off "My Little Pony" but it was too lugubrious for even me, not to mention Roz Chast printed a some-what similar cartoon title in The New Yorker recently. Great minds think alike!)

That's the title page! Very exciting! I complied a dummy version and hope to get it printed and bound soon. Stay tuned!
And can we please all set our minds to work to make 2020 a more hopeful, compassionate year???