What Can I Say?

Holy cow! This is an unretouched photo from 5:00 this morning. It's f*&king 12 below! My blood feels like molasses and my brain's not plugged in. It hurt to breath on my (very diminished) walk with Jules to the end of the driveway. That was it.
But I had to go to work and I have to say that I'm glad I was being paid as I was slow n stupid all day long. I just wanted to go home and hibernate...

Here's my poor pony with icicles on her eyelashes- but still alive! She didn't even want her picture taken this morning. I was a pest and finally got her to stand still long enough for me to take this picture. I had to remove my gloves and boy, were my fingers cold! Wake me up when it's over.

Stuck Truck

Gee, what could be making Bob so very happy? Maybe it's the fact that while skidding into the snow encrusted driveway last night, I got the truck stuck in a snow bank. No way! Yes! And it was so cold and dark by the time I got home, we left it until this morning. What a fun way to start the day. Half a bale of Maggie's hay late, and we had the truck back on track.
I will confess that this wasn't the first snow related incident of the day. On my way out the driveway, I was going perfectly straight on a perfectly flat stretch when the truck decided to slide sideways, towards the rather large wild rose bush that inhabits the left side of the driveway. I managed to right the truck and I did not have to call for help. Once a day is enough!
The snow and "weather events" have me so derailed that I have been mistaken for a crazy person. (Not the first time?) I was out, running errands this morning, dodging all the other winter-deranged folk. Lines at the gas station, lines at the library, lines at the package store, lines at the super market... we're all stocking up. As I left the supermarket, the latest flakes had begun to fall. "THANK GOD!!!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, "IT'S SNOWING AGAIN!" This erupted from me utterly spontaneously. I had no idea that it was coming. But the funniest thing was that no one paid attention. We all just kept hurrying to our cars. And home to more snow.
There are some mildly entertaining aspects to all this winter madness. I am still a Brooklyn-showing world famous artist. (Even snow can't take that away from me!) And Bob still has a good sense of humor:

His sculpture "Here" is so hidden beneath that evil white stuff that Bob created little faces in the tops of the boots. The look peaceful.

A Wicked Cold Trip and Quite a Few Holidays

Yeah, it looks all magical but don't let that fool you!  I'm just trying to find a way to enjoy the endless white blobs tumbling from the sky...
And speaking of fools, guess who was crazy enough to brave the dangerous low temperatures and outlandishly high winds to drive to New York state and take a train into New York City on Sunday? Artists will do anything to open their mouths in public and yap about their work! I was a-feared that Bob (mostly the sensible one) would say "Ix-Nay" to our plans to go to NYC, but he was game and I adore him for so supportive. We (obviously) made it there and back so there must be some truth to the rumor that God protects fools, drunk and artists.
Lookee here:

This wasn't even the worst! It was 8 below one morning but my camera battery went dead and I couldn't find the extra battery and charger (plugged into the bedroom wall, behind a painting). I debated drawing a picture of the negative reading, but thought no one would believe it- sort of an "artist's rendering". But there you have it! Evidence! (as if we needed any).
The gallery talk was great. I had asked Ellen (artist/friend/gallerist) to not ask me to speak first, so I could gauge what the other artists said and how they said it. I needn't have worried as we went alphabetically (I'm always last) and I quickly realized that we were all on the same page and we all sounded very erudite and like we knew what we were doing. It was fun and well worth risking frostbite and death through exposure. (Don't ask about the walk back from the train to the truck...)

Maybe because the day before was Valentine's Day and Bob and I were warm and fueled by love and delicious food, but it was a really great weekend. We then celebrated Mardi Gras/ Fat Tuesday a day early as more awful weather was planned for Tuesday. It didn't really happen but is any one out there sorry we didn't get another foot of snow?

Not Going Any Where- Fast or Otherwise

How's that for a metaphor for our lives at present? A snowed in door! And the drift of snow is not the only impediment! That icicle to the left is ominous. I'm not going to further regale my audience with further woes of winter's tales... except that I'm scheduled to participate in an artist's talk on Sunday at Odetta Gallery in Brooklyn and it's supposed to be like 4 degrees with 70 mile an hour winds and maybe (aaaarrrrggggh!) more snow!!
But we'll take one day at a time... be all Zen. Maybe the gods will smile and will send us blue skies and happier trails. We can only hope!
But Bob, thinking ahead as tomorrow is supposed to bring us more.... flowers! Saturday is bringing us flowers! Saturday is Valentine's Day, after all.

Look at that lovely bouquet! I'm so happy! Beautiful, colorful, amazing flowers. Temporarily, my winter dreads have been driven away. For the next 24  hours, I promise to not innumerate the various and many things that my gloves stuck to this morning while delivering Maggie her morning water: the gate, the barn door, the stall bucket handle, the outside bucket (pulling the glove right off my hand), the outside door handle- and on and on. I literally froze to everything. But banish that thought. Tonight through tomorrow, I promise to vacation in my mind. But come Sunday, I'll be crazy mad if the weather doesn't cooperate. How long can this last?!?!?!

Grumble Grumble Grumble

For Christmas, I bought Bob a butterfly chair and along with it (as it had been an auction lot) was this painting. Sort of a bonus and I found it rather charming. Fortunately, Bob liked it too, and even thought it looked a lot like our backyard, with the deck and potted plant and the view through our spindly pine and spruce trees. It also looks a lot like a place I'd rather be than stuck here in the friggin' Winter Wonderland!
I know I have lots of company in the hating of this eternal winter so I'm going to complain for a paragraph or two. A community vent! That' all anyone is talking about- at the gas station, the post office, the checkout at the grocery store. And we're supposed to have three straight days of the stuff. Enough already!
How about one of those famous bulleted lists?

• I detest the combo platter of too much snow AND really frigid temperature. Please: one or the other would be sufficient.
• I hate the fact that I have to keep schlepping buckets of water to my poor horse Maggie who thinks she's been exiled to Siberia. (She has; just don't let her in on that). My arms have been permanently stretched. I look like a gorilla.
• My morning walks- the only real chance to get exercise- is shorter as the dirt road is covered in twelve inches of slippery snow (ice conveniently hidden underneath) and it's so damned cold that no matter what I wear, my nose is exposed and freezes. I had icicles on my eye lashes for god's sake!
• Do you really feel creative when all those "creative juices" are barely flowing and need antifreeze? Besides, how inspiring is endless white and frostbitten fingers? 
• People- including friends- are crabby and depressed thanks to evil weather. Who can blame them? Except we're all in this together and we'd better be nice!
• I used to like Ground Hog's Day. And then it became this stupid stunt where nasty politicians pick up and drop defenseless animals... and kill them! (It happened). Who can blame on of the ground hogs for biting its handler? Leave the furry little things alone! No wonder they predict more winter. They hate us.
• I don't particularly like the fact that it takes me ten minutes to get dressed appropriately to go outside. Too many layers and by the time you're dressed you don't really feel like going outside anyway.
• Then you come back in and create piles and piles of wet clothes. Every time you go out, you produce gloves, sock, pants, hats, scarves and long under wear that require drying. I had to buy more gloves and socks as nothing dried quickly enough for donning for the next foray into the Arctic. And of course we all leave wet trails all over the house. Floors a mess...
• I'm getting fatter by the minute. Blame the lack of exercise (see above) and way too much comfort food. Hell, we need comforting but I can't stop eating. There's not much else to do.
• I haven't even been a regular blog poster because the weather has been too awful. This is the result; a boring diatribe about the weather.
• At least we've been sleeping well. But I attribute that to a desire to permanently hibernate. Wake us up when it's over.
• Are we done whining yet? Any one want to add anything? People driving like assholes despite lousy road conditions? Huge piles of snow at the ends of driveways and secondary roads that make pulling out into traffic seriously hazardous? The fact that I looked ahead to next weeks weather and it's no better? In fact it's even colder??? Stop!!!!!!