Enough! Enough!

On my way out the door to work this morning, there was a gigantic swooooosh! noise which startled Bob and me and Robin. We glanced out the back door but saw nothing and figured it was probably the town crew as they're delivering dump trucks full of gravel to the excavation at the end of our road. I didn't think any more about it.
But about an hour later, Bob called me at work to explain that he had figured out the noise. As if we hadn't had enough tree damage, the second half of a giant oak that had been damaged in the tornado (remember that episode) let loose. That was the giant swoooshing sound.

The final punchline to this new and updated disaster is that the tree catapulted earthward crushing another section of our fence and landing smack in the middle of my Shade Garden. This is the very Shade Garden that I strolled by yesterday- while swatting gnats and mosquitoes away- admiring just how nice it was and thinking how lucky that at least one part of our property had been spared in the tornado! Hahahaha! The joke is on me!
So Bob sprang into action and sawed up most of the large pieces before I got home so that we could correctly assess the extent of the devastation.  Here's Robin looking for bodies: (You will notice the bent and mutilated fence behind Robin. Bob straightened it so Robin can't escape but it's nicely twisted!)

Fortunately, while there is crushed foliage and general chaos, none of the rhododendrons or oak leaf hydrangea were totaled: just wrecked enough that they'll look awful for the rest of the season. And there are plenty more twigs/sticks/branches/leaves to pick up! Oh joy! Just what I wanted to do! More clean up! (And don't even ask about the leafy juicy things like hostas...)

I'm not kidding: I didn't need more restoration work! This part of the garden had been my solace after the other parts spent the early summer being cleaned and returned to "normal". I guess I have to be grateful that Bob or Robin or I weren't standing underneath when that half a tree let go. But can we please have an end to tree destruction?!?!!?

Off To A Party

Okay! Okay! I promise to not rant about politics for this blog post. (But it was a good week! Manafort... guilty! Cohen... confessing! McGahan... squealing! Others close to The Orange Menace... freakin' flipping! Yay team!!) So instead of political spewings, I'm posting an innocuous picture of the (almost) finished hole in the wall.
Yes, it needs a bit more sanding and another coat of paint but I've already got my Foo dog happily smelling the posies. See how useful and attractive a hole in the wall can be?!?? It's amazing how a detail like this can fix up the entire space. Bob and I shoved our bureaus around a bit and the room looks bigger and more commodious. More room to put stuff!
The weather has decided to become more pleasant and allow for otherwise impossible activities like mowing the lawn and weeding. Let's face it, it's been miserably hot and humid. When I tried to work in my studio, I wound up with  minute collage bits and fabric scraps stuck to my sweaty arms. I'll have to take a picture of the gigantic hornets nest that has been constructed just outside one of my studio windows. Bob pointed out that that window was open and I might be entertaining "visitors" soon. So far the wasps or hornets haven't bothered me but I've shut that window and am steering clear of that corner when outside!

And in place of our dear friend Tilda Swinton, we now have a birthday balloon living in the bathroom downstairs. It does look quite festive in there, with the Xmas lights, miniature cocktail umbrellas and the smiley balloon... which reminds me: we're off to a party right now!

Russian Roulette

Another one of my periodic posts in which the picture would seem to have little to do with my topic or the direction of my thoughts. This is a picture I was given at work (because they were going to toss it out) and I liked it: I think it's Shangri-La... a place I'd love to transport myself, Bob, Robin the Good and Maggie the Mexican Pony to. (And a few hundred close family members and friends.)
Maybe Shangri-La is a good place to head, what with the stunningly abysmal state of affairs here in America. Just think- the "truth isn't truth" (thanks Rudy Giuliani!) just like it's kissing cousin in linguistic and moral turpitude, "alternative facts" (thanks Kellyanne Conway!). Why do rethuglicans always play so fast and loose with the English language?
Those of you reading this that actually know me know that I am not shy about my dismay at the current occupant of the White House. There is little that I can add that hasn't already been said, including repeating the mantra that the conservative's beloved Ronald Reagan is probably rolling over (and over and over) in his grave with all the embracing of Russia and it's feckless leader. A little "Evil Empire", anyone? Or are their memories so faulty?
I realize that conservatives and rethuglicans are embracing Their Dear Leader because he's delivering on so many of their pet projects: fewer regulations, gigantic tax cuts for the already rich, dismantling health care, destroying the environment, stacking the Supreme Court with conservative activist judges... I could go on but I'd probably sick up all over my keyboard. The rethuglicans are apparently willing to assume the despicable posture of spineless, smirking sycophants. Where does it end? I cringe when craven mouth pieces (I'm thinking Paul Ryan or Mitch McConnell) slink out and say something like, "Oh don't pay any attention to the tweets". Talk about enablers! Or toadies like Devin Nunes echoing "witch hunt, witch hunt!" despite indictments and grand juries.
Hopefully, something will end this current situation (nonviolently), be it (in no particular order) the emoluments clause, The Mueller Investigation, those unreleased tax returns, Stormy Daniels, Michael Cohen, Omarosa, health code violations at Mar-A-Lago, Karen McDougal, the stupidity of certain off spring, pee pee tapes, Paul Manafort, Marina Butina and the NRA, Don McGahn etc etc. Every day brings more dirt and allegations and weirder behaviors and appearances by the living dead (there's Rudy Giuliani again!) Russian roulette indeed!
I never thought I'd say this, but I'm downright nostalgic for old-school rethuglicans!

Fun with Fungi!

The persistent rain and weird weather may not be to my liking but the mushrooms, toadstools and other forms of life seem to love it! Our yard has become a hot-bed of exotic species. Down by the lilac bed I discovered the above specimen, simply erupting from the lawn.

And this tiny puffball is only a few feet away. Bob eats them. As he hasn't died yet, I guess they're safe to consume but the whole house smells like mushrooms when he cooks them. I'm not a big eater of mushrooms; I will tolerate them on pizza because their sneaker-bottom rubberiness and peculiar flavor is masked by cheese, garlic, spice and tomato sauce. These guys can get huge! We once had one in our yard back in Bridgewater that was the size of a soccer ball, but Bob picks them early as they get brown and nasty pretty quickly. Also slugs and company chew on them.

Ahoy! Yet another variety, this one wriggling up the side of one of our (many) splintered tree stumps. Not certain as to the kind, but it looks like mucous ribbons. That probably edible, too. The poisonous ones are like these:

The other day, they resembled your classic mushroom shape with a clear stem and cap and little gills underneath. The tops started out a vibrant neon yellow. I have watched them explode and slime as the rain kept coming. Some of these suckers are really deadly and even mushroom experts get killed occasionally. Here's a close up:

Nothing appetizing about that! It is pretty amazing that all the above occurred in a small portion of the yard. There's loads more and it looks like fairy land. And then there's this beauty, sneaking through the fence from our neighbors...

Hello! Yes, that's a lusty poison ivy vine. I have already succumbed to several rounds of itchy festering bumps so I'm keeping my distance, no matter how friendly this vine is trying to be.

Home Improvements

Just be glad that this posting isn't what I initially had in mind: a political rant celebrating the ostrich-skinned downfall of Paul Manafort (hopefully leading to the ultimate removal of The Orange Menace and Co.) Instead, I am focusing on subjects closer to home.
Like the bedroom, fr'instance. Next to my side of the bed, about four feet up on the wall is the above hole. The former owner of The BauHaus Chicken Coop, Ken the Kreative Karpenter, used to spontaneously redecorate the house with a saws-all. We figured out that this particular hole was carved out to accommodate a television set that was viewed from the bed that had been placed in the opposite direction from where we have it. (We position our bed in configuration with lay lines so that our heads point due north). The hole has remained untouched for the seven years we have lived here, as is, until today. Literally, it was a rough hole with exposed studs and a view of the back side of the bathroom, and a towel used to block the right hand side which opened onto a no man's land that exists behind the bedroom and bathroom. Not a pleasant place!

(There's the hole in configuration with the lamp above the bed.) For some reason, as I looked the hole this morning, I was newly provoked to ask, "Why are we living with a sizable hole in our wall?" I promptly removed the ceramic foo dog, the small metallic wind up walking alligator and the small basket of jewelry that had resided there and began cleaning, thinking I would commit to a small construction project. I decided to attempt to box in the hole.
I was preempted by Bob, who mercifully rescued us and set to doing things in the correct way. I will admit to thinking that I could have sliced up a few odds and bits of sheet rock and wedged them in and thrown some paint on it and called it a day. Bob does things the way they should be done, with drills and screws and skill saws and measurements. Here's a practical demonstration: the furniture was moved aside, tools were laid out and chaos ensued so that order could ultimately be imposed.

I admit that my contribution was reduced to vacuuming six and a half years worth of dust from the hole. (It was so bad that I didn't even photograph it for posting here! I had to bath my foo dog...)
But several hours later, Bob had neatly enclosed the space and all that awaited was for me to spackle the screw holes and paint it (at a later date).

 Big improvement! Neatly boxed in and clean; I was all set to fill in the holes and prepare for the eventual paint job but the spackle had been unused for a couple of years so it was moldy when I opened the can. EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! (It smelled sour, too!)

Hahahahaha. I had to include this to share the grossness! I'll post pictures after we've procured new joint compound and the hole is finished. Betcha can't wait!

Melonheads and Other Odds and Ends

According to an article sent by a concerned friend, our road was once inhabited by beings referred to as "Melonheads". This was by all accounts a (very politically incorrect) reference to the somehow deformed (and deranged) unfortunates that resided (according to local legend) in this area and devoured pets and small children. I guess Bob and I fit right in!
On a cheerier note, the picture above was captured using (hooray!) my new smart phone. I am on a steep learning curve- me being a Melonhead and all- to figure out arcane skills like "texting" and using "apps". You will remember that I had what I affectionately called my "dumb phone" which delivered a pretty good phone call... but I never did figure out how to do really basic stuff, like delete old messages or text. And it had no camera! No Internet! So this new phone is way cool and already impressing me.
My birthday was really pretty tremendous this year. I got the aforementioned phone and other useful and fun things from Bob. And then my family visited: Hello Cathy! Hello Beatrice! Hello John! And despite the day being overly hot and muggy, we had a good time, debating who the next viable presidential candidate should be and how soon The Orange Menace will be deposed. Yuck.
But my family came through bigly and presented me with fabulous wine and plants and delicious foods. I am fat and happy.
I spent the day planting my gifts (A yellow Rhododendron "Capistrano" and an Aralia cordata "Sun King" and Sapphire Flax and Dianthus "Miss Aroma": The first two are in the shade border and the latter two are in the Blue Border.)
I will no doubt succumb to a healthy case of poison ivy because poison ivy seems to be having a good year and it's pretty much every where. First thing this morning, Bob started weed whacking the driveway and I attempted to pitch in and lend a hand. I quickly begged off though, as the poison ivy at the edge of the driveway was some of the healthiest I have ever seen and there was plenty of it. I felt bad leaving Bob to battle the overgrown and jungle-like driveway verge, but I really don't want to spend the rest of my vacation scratching and oozing.

Rites of Passage

In case you didn't know, my birthday was July 20th. My favorite present thus far is definitely this fun-loving little Picea Orientalis "Skylands". I have wanted one for ages and almost purchased one multiple times but waited as I wasn't sure where it would go as they do grow and get quite large! But with all that (ahem) available real estate opening up in the back yard, placement is suddenly less an issue. Bob and I took a field trip to Broken Arrow Nursery and located this specimen. I liked the long outreach of his branch; He seemed optimistic. Bob (for reasons unknown) promptly named the tree "Spencer". So welcome Spencer!

Here's the rest of the booty. Bob thrust me firmly into the twenty-first century by presenting me with a Smart Phone. Thank you Bob! Now I will just have to figure out how to activate it and what to do with my fossil phone. I am going to miss showing off just how tragic my phone is/was; you'll recall that it is held together with tape, elastic bands and love. Suffice it to say, I did well in the gifts department and couldn't be happier!

A passage of another sort occurred today. Bob chain sawed an opening in the three-trunked spruce that had landed square in the middle of Maggie's field. That was a lot to cut through! Now Maggie can take a short cut back to her barn and I don't have to steer wheelbarrows full of manure all over the fifty states to dump it! It was quite a journey with a full load of horse manure; especially in the heat and humidity. Try it some time!
And look! More piles of wood! More stacks of logs! Hahahaha! I think I've reached my wood saturation point. Yes, I know we will be happy this winter when we have tons and tons of wood to keep us warm, but there is a lot of the stuff.
And look at this:

That's the top of yet another spruce tree that broke off and landed point down in Maggie's field. That's another sort of clean up to attend to... another day!