A World of Shit

 

Originally, this was meant to be a light-hearted blog post about how much horse poop I am surrounded by on a daily basis. (*1) Two horses produce quite a lot of feces in the average 24 hour cycle, but hideous weather where everything froze up into thousands of rock-hard equine byproduct pyramids has rendered our horse field a truly sordid mess... and that was the funny idea for a post! Hahahha!!

Close up of multi-layered poops. Sometimes it seems the horses are "trying to help" by eliminating multiple times in one spot. I dunno; what occurs is shit insulation that makes the whole lump harder because ice forms and doesn't thaw underneath. I can't win! 

Here's Mount PoopMore. And see all the lumpy darker items in the background? Yes, more horse shit! That chestnut-colored item off to the upper left is one of the instigators of all this mess.

But my point is... the world is shit! I am so freaked out/disgusted/angry/scared/horrified at what putin has done in Ukraine! We are surrounded by shit, and the shit produced by other people! So it's not awful enough that we're (still) in a pandemic, have Climate Crisis to deal with, have half of our country's population getting weirder and scarier by the minute... and now we have to consider the distinct possibility of nuclear annihilation? No wonder I'm exhausted!

Although this was a pretty funny scene: I looked out our back door and wondered why Neko seemed so tall. On closer inspection it was because she had scaled Mount PoopMore- maybe to see what she could see? Who knows what goes on in the horsey mind?!!

And now putin has apparently put nuclear forces on alert?!?!?!?! Aughh! Will we live to experience Mardi Gras? (*2) Will I ever get my field cleaned up? Will it even matter?!?!?? (*3)

Picture of other suspect, Maggie. A million years old and still going (somewhat) strong. Included for no other reason than she produces 1/2 of all the equine excrement littering our fields and our lives. She shouldn't be left out!!

(*1) Typically, I keep a rigorously clean field and shovel the daily output of poop into glamorous piles which are then directed to our composting piles. Hygienic and productive!

(*2) Bob and I are going out to try and score a King Cake today. Maybe this will cheer me up!

(*3) Oh yeah: Fuck putin. I've gotten all existential...

A Little Climate Crisis, Anyone?

 

Above, my latest piece "For Greta", obviously channeling her amazing statement to world leaders during the last Climate Summit. (Wasn't it called something unfortunate and forgettable like "COPS 27"?) I share Greta Thunberg's concern that world leaders- or almost anyone else!!- aren't doing enough to halt our escalating climate crisis. Every day there are more stories of rapid sea level rise or ice chunks the size of Rhode Island breaking off and tumbling into the ocean. Not to mention fire tornadoes, floods, typhoons and other random disasters...

You people reading my blog are lucky; you're getting a sneak peak at the finished piece. All previous incarnations have been works in progress and were close to the image above, but I hadn't sewn all the "birch logs" around the "All Your" and I added nifty three-D like backings to the branch work... really made it pop. Also, I sewed on that amazingly lewd edging- shiny plastic feathering that positively screams climate disaster! I hope Greta will be pleased with my efforts. She's an terrifically brave and inspiring woman! We need more like her.

I've been a bit remiss in posting to my blog as I'm attempting to re-work my website (uh... haven't gotten there yet!), finish up several in-progress works of art, clean my studio and studio annex (see previous posting), and arrange for the next step in my brilliant career. I did sell a small art work unexpectedly the other day; that always provides a disproportionately huge shot in the arm! I feel like, "Yes! the Universe thinks I'm on the right path!" or at least I have some money to buy more iridescent plastic feathering to add onto another piece. Heavens! I'm probably accelerating the destruction of the planet with all my consumption of unnatural materials. Possibly it's produced from recycled content?

An Ultimatum

 

See this pile? This is furniture and assorted things form our deceased mother's (aka "Mommy") house. These items have resided in my Studio Annex- essentially rendering it useless- for how many years now? Three? Four? Five? I started shuffling through this ungodly heap a few weeks back. But it hit me yesterday: the things in this pile have got to go!

Anybody out there want a table? A beat-up desk? An ornately carved chair? All going to the highest bidder! One of my sister's (*1)received an ultimatum yesterday. That "brown rectangle" (as they're referred to in the antiques world) is now officially your problem; do with it what you will! 

I am retiring to the Studio Annex now, when I finish this post, to attempt to deconstruct the heap and start selecting items to photograph. What a Herculean job!! Wish me luck...

And here's one of the busted lamps. I sincerely do wish they were all worth a fortune... or even a couple of hundred bucks! But I must be realistic and say probably not worth much.

As one of my sisters helpfully pointed out, once this room is cleared I'll have so much more space! Uh... yeah, that's the idea!

(*1) I only have two... they know who they are.

My Brush With The Po-Leece

Here's my partner in crime! Trusty and I were heading home from an exciting visit to Tractor Supply where we had invested in several bags of special Equine Senior Horse Chow (formulated for those elders with few teeth and in need of a bit more fat- Maggie's department). We were tooling along, well within the speed limit and minding our driving p's and q's. We had passed under the highway underpass- a mere mile or so from home- when I espied a police car directly behind me. "Well", I thought, I'll just make sure I continue forward in an orderly and innocuous manner and thank dog we're almost home!"

But no sooner than I had made an impeccable right hand turn onto our lovely road, then the bells and whistles erupt on said police car. I've been pulled over... I hurriedly pull on my mask and rolled my window down, attempting a pleasant and vacuous smile behind my mask. "Yes Officer?" I inquire politely. The woman officer (who looks to be about fifteen years old) responds, "I bet your wondering why you've been pulled over. Your registration has expired." I demure, "But that is simply impossible! I've passed emissions just this past spring and I know I renewed my registration!!" Meanwhile, I fumble in the glove compartment, out of which is spilling insurance cards and salt and peppers from take out food and kleenex... and the envelope with my registration. I triumphantly pull it out and realize she's right (of course!) and my car's registration has expired not just in December of 2021 but December of 2020... how is this possible!!?!??!?!!? Now I feel like a crazy person.

"It must be COVID time!" I exclaim. "We haven't been driving much and gee, the paper work must have gotten lost!" She was kind enough to reply, "It happens" and let me off with a warning and a quite jolly, "I know you're going to go home and re-register your car right now!" Which I most certainly did.

And found out that Bob's truck hadn't been registered since 2019!! Hahhahhahaha!! Whoops! And how did we not get in trouble from that? We've driven to New York- where if you recall, we broke down and were towed and a policeman gave us a ride. HE could have ticketed us if he'd run our plates! We've also transported Bob's sculpture to Vermont on several occasions and never got flagged for expired registration. I guess we've been very lucky. 

Don't worry: we're all 100% legal now. It was a relative bargain, too. Only a $10 late fee (and the weird other fees they tack on like something called a park use fee...) and the original cost and we're good.

And here's a preview of fun to come! Bomb Cyclone a'comin! Get out those snow shovels and blowers! Batten the hatches and stock up on milk and toilet paper... and bread!!
 

Weather or Not

 

Nothing "candy ass" about the weather! Ay ca-rumba! One day it's 50 degrees and sunny, the next day it's 10 degrees with a wind chill of minus 5... then we get snow. Then we get weird rain and now we have three inches of soon-to-be frozen slop. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow when I try and venture out to feed the poor horses who have been struggling to remain upright on ice. Maggie went and cut her leg on something sharp (while eating her breakfast?) and her paddock looked like a crime scene. I was going to photograph it but even I demurred; too gruesome! I washed her leg off, and despite her protestations, treated her wound with Vetericyn and bandaged it. It seemed fine by this afternoon, no more bloody snow!

So at least the evil weather has proven to be fertile time for me to get into my studio and make art. Incidentally, it was so cold for three days that I didn't even attempt to make a fire in the wood stove in my studio. I worked- like old times!- in the living room. Today, I was back in the studio, cutting out letters for a new piece. Betcha wonder what this one is going to say?!?!?! You'll just have to wait until I decide to share my newest "words of the day". 

Here's a detail. Yes, all of those tiny dots are individual seed beads, hand sewn on. I was referencing that weird (to my mind anyway!) candy that came on strips of paper. It always had bits of paper stuck to the back of the individual dots and I can't for the life of me remember it tasting like anything at all. But some friends have confessed to LIKING that candy. Go figure!

And little did I know that there is a queer, Jewish, male artist named Cary Liebowitz who goes by the name "Candy Ass". And he and I have a lot in common when you look at his work: he uses text- often scrawled in a awkward, hand written sort of way, he uses profanity (who me?!?), references the art world ... and he's funny. Check it out! Anyway, I knew nothing about him until a friend mentioned him to me on Instagram. You learn something every day!
 

                                               

 I decided to do my Candy Ass piece because my good friend Wasil often used this phrase to refer to stupid, clumsy or weak things or people. (He doesn't recall using this phrase but where the hell would I come up with it??!?!) I am dedicating this piece to Wasil... he's not candy ass at all!!

 

House-aversary!

 

Hard to believe, but we moved into the architectural gem 12 full years ago! We are starting our 13th year of occupation of the Bauhaus Chicken Coop. And what a dozen years it's been! For one thing, there was a "good"  three feet of snow on the ground at the time of our closing (*1) and moving was a long, strange trip.  But despite the arduous (at times) journey, we made it and we made this place our home.

And I must say, despite a crazy world and COVID and all sorts of bizarre-o things neither Bob nor myself could have predicted, we mostly stayed (sorta) sane and are happy. Looking at this picture that I snapped this morning, I'm seeing so many of the projects that we tackled- and accomplished. My studio (to the right in the photo), the terrace (well, blocked by the picnic table) and the chimney we constructed to allow installation of the wood stove. And that's just the visible projects! We've got extensive gardens, fences galore, two (!!) horses, and a new giant screen (*2) TV!!

Yes, that's Rachel Maddow interviewing a former New York District attorney- in our bedroom. Those two rectangle to right and left are our bedroom windows so you can see just how large this sucker is. Bob and I keep reciting, "They're so big! They're life-size!" I guess the TV will provide company and excitement in the cold, dark days of winter ahead. (*3)

And congratulations to us! Bob and me! on 12 full years of home ownership and house occupation.

(*1) And this year? It was 55 degrees the last couple of days, absolutely no snow and Bob just harvested Swiss chard and Tatsoi from our garden?!?!?!?!? How's that for a bit of personal Climate Change observation?

(*2) Hell! It's gianter than I even thought... like BIG! Kinda scary, but fun!

(*3) Hahhahaha! Lest anyone thing we just took the TV out of the box, threw it up on the wall, turned it on, synced it with our "devices" and began watching... no. We started yesterday afternoon; Bob successfully wall-mounted the monster and then we encountered "issues". Like logging into Google accounts we rarely use, password conundrums and the like. I begged off after realizing that my brain had stopped working (*4) I was beginning to moan in a pitiful fashion. This morning, fortified by bagels and coffee and a tea chaser, we (somehow) managed to log on and watch TV. Success was ours!

(*4) I attempted to help Bob after a particularly strenuous riding lesson in which my instructor confused me so badly about turning left and right that I was almost punch drunk. My poor horse thinks I'm stupid and I'm surprised my instructor didn't throw her hands in the air and leave. She did threaten to spray paint a large L and R on poor Neko's shoulders... You gotta love it when someone's in the middle of the ring yelling, "Where are you GOING??!?!?" and you honestly thought you'd gone the right way... alas!

The End is Here!!

 

Well, the end of the year, not to be too melodramatic! And good-bye 2021!!

Sorry but maybe it IS the end of civilization as we have known it. I attempted to buy Bob a new TV for Christmas. Here's our old TV: 

Probably a lovely set in it's day but it's got a gigantic back that sticks out a good 18" and it doesn't have a very large picture area. It's old! And the modem that we require to allow the TV to "talk" to the dvd player needs a firm whack every few minutes to keep it running. (*1) We decided we needed a new TV.

 So I purchased what looked to me to be a huge step up; like 32" (diagonal) screen. And in all fairness, I'd done a ton of research and determined the brand and approximate size but was utterly intimidated and bowled over by all the enormous screens on view at the store. I felt like I'd crawled out from under a rock. I quickly selected my 32" set and fled the store.

I presented it to Bob on Christmas and we were both excited at the prospect of watching TV while lying in bed and feeling all luxurious and up-to-date. But somehow, I had misgivings when we brought the TV upstairs. It looked less huge; in fact, I thought it looked small. We debated for a while and finally agreed. We'd go one size up.

(Another consideration is this lovely sculpture that resides on top of the TV cabinet. The cabinet needs to accommodate TV and sculpture. Then we to arrived at wall mounting the TV and put the sculpture on another surface...)

So we went to the store- for us a still unusual excursion as COVID has kept us close to home and away from "the public"- and return the new but too small TV. We scouted the rear of the big box store, found the bigger TVs and instead of the 40", I see Bob's eyes go wide and he says, "That's the perfect size!" pointing at a 43" model. So we truly did graduate from old set to 32" all the way up to 43". (*2) The punchline is that they had two of these behemoths in stock, but the boxes were water damaged and we didn't want to take a chance on a defective TV and another return trip. I finally ordered the 43" on-line.

So we're awaiting delivery of the new member of our household. I alluded to the end being near and part of me is afraid of the novelty of a giant screen. Will it become so seductive as to reduce the time we spend reading? Will we become "like everyone else", glued to a huge screen and watching endless hours of mindless dreck? I fear for our future! Oh well, welcome to 2022!

(*1) We tried to purchase a new modem-thing and were laughed out of BestBuy and WalMart. How's that for humiliation?!? 

(*2) And yes, there are far gigantic-er tVs out there. 65", 75"... we'd have to get a bigger wall to make space for these "home theaters". And neither one of us wants our lives dominated by a TV that big!